Thursday, March 31, 2011
Curtis Granderson avoided the DL and made it to New York. He had a diving catch. A running catch. And a home run. All in one day! Teixeira also crushed a ball which Nasa is probably still tracking just to make sure it doesn't interfere with their mission to take pictures of Mercury (FYI: turns out Mercury looks a lot like those artist renditions in textbooks that they paid far less to produce).
Sabathia only lasted six innings. Not awful with our bullpen, but I'm sure Girardi was hoping to save some of those pitchers for AJ's start tomorrow.
The Yankees took a risk rushing Granderson back for opening day, but potential replacement Chris Dickerson was simply not an option.
"Chris Dickerson is crazy," explained Joe Girardi in a recent sit-down interview with RJG. "He was walking around the clubhouse with this purse around his shoulder. I'm all, 'What are you doing with a purse?' And he's like, 'It's not a purse, this is a man's bag.' I'm like, 'Ummm, no. That couldn't even be considered a murse. It's quite clearly a purse. In fact, I think my wife has that same purse. In burgundy.' And he's just, 'No, it's a man's bag.' 'What about this bag suggests anything man about it?' I says. He's all, 'There's a glock in it.' He pulls out this glock and then starts doing this crazy dance. He's all, 'This is my glock dance.' I'm all, 'He is not breaking camp with us. Hell no. He's #$%*&@! crazy!'"
RJG Is for the Children
Teixeira and Granderson both went deep. That's $2 for the children. I think. I'm actually not sure what my brother has pledged this year. Could be zero for all I know. That'll be embarrassing for him after this post!
Teixeira 1hr = $1
Granderson 1hr = $1
Total = $2
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
The trial has been pretty ridiculous thus far with testimony by a childhood friend who said that he was really concerned about Bonds' steroid use that he went to Bonds' father with his concerns. His former club house manager and mistress have both taken the stand, and among things revealed were his increased hat size, acne breaking out on his back, abnormal muscle growth near his elbow creating an unnatural bump, roid rage, etc. all symptoms of steroid use. Even Jason Giambi has taken the stand along with his brother Jeremy saying that they too received steroids from Bonds' trainer, and that they knew that they were getting steroids. Honestly, I just want this era in baseball to come to a close. The players association needs to agree to whatever drug testing is appropriate, and we need to move on.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Monday, March 28, 2011
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Thursday, March 24, 2011
"Well, we'll throw pitches inside to Jeter, and he backs off the plate. I mean why doesn't he just let it hit him? That's how my team plans to get on base this season. Everyone knows we can't hit our way on."
And for Epstein?
"He has a billion dollar payroll and he signs Carl Crawford and everyone thinks he's a genius. Its not like he's built two championship teams in the past decade. Same with Cashman. If they were smart they'd be able to build themselves into the basement of the AL east like we have. We're poised to come from behind any moment now. Just like the Rays were in the early part of the 2000's. And just like them, we're going to win that championship!"
When told that the Rays haven't won a championship yet, Showalter grew furious.
"You think the Orioles are finished!? Its just like that book Animal Farm! You're all a bunch of communists!"
Indeed. Lets hope this new fire spurs the O's onward.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
12:30pm - Wake-up
This is an important part of our preparation. You can only blog when you're awake. For now.
1:30pm - Get Out of Bed
You don't want to risk injury by rushing anything.
2:15pm - Turn On the Computer
We bloggers rely heavily on our computers. Without their keyboards and wireless network cards, we could not do our jobs.
2:16pm - Research
As soon as your machine is fired up, it's time to get to the serious work of researching what is going on with your team. Attention to detail is crucial. Who pitched? Who hit for what average? Who got hurt? You need to know all these things because you never know what will inspire your next post.
2:17pm - Beer Break
Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.
6:30pm - Stop the Room from Spinning
After a long and hearty breakfast, it's always a good idea to stop, breath, figure out where you are, and how you got there.
7:15pm - Thank Officers for Ride Home
A hand-written note is always a nice touch. Smart bloggers keep a few extras in their wallets.
7:30pm - Write a Post
Go to a lesser known blog. Copy. Paste. Word to the wise: the New York Times is not a "lesser known blog".
7:32pm - Beer Break
It's important to follow up breakfast with a good lunch.
11:52pm - Daily Inventory
I was definitely wearing a watch when I got to this fine establishment. And pants. Where are my pants? Why am I wearing shoes but no pants? $#!%, the cops are back.
1:45 - Bedtime
A good night's rest is always important. You need to have energy for the next day's blogging activities. It's an early next morning, so you need to make sure you go right to sleep. Who am I kidding? I've been passed out for at least an hour.
Monday, March 21, 2011
Friday, March 18, 2011
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Monday, March 14, 2011
"I have to be the most experienced prospect the Yankees have." Explained recent acquisition and 13 year major league veteran Ronnie Belliard. "My name has a 'B' in it. I listen to more Wu-Tang Killer Bees than all of those kids. So why can't I be a Killer B?"
When told that the designation was meant for prospects, Ronnie didn't want to hear it:
"Were those kids even alive when the Wu-Tang Killer bees were on the swarm? There was the RZA, the GZA, Ol' Dirty, Mr. T, that dude from Soul Train, and I think I once saw Brad Pitt. If any of the supposed 'Killer B's' can name half of those guys then they can join the Killer Bees. But otherwise, I should be a Killer Bee."
When explained that the Yankees Killer B's were different from the Wu-Tang Killer Bees, Belliard was shocked.
"So all this baseball stuff isn't getting me closer to a RZA-produced album?"
No, but we hope it does seeing as all this baseball stuff isn't likely to get him closer to being on a baseball team this season either. Plus, a RZA-produced album is so rare these days.
Friday, March 11, 2011
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
RJG: Hey Bronny.
BC: Wow. I haven't heard from you in a while! Where have you been?
RJG: Well, after you failed to sign Lee I didn't really have anything to say to you. But I figured I should check in at this point in the spring.
BC: I know you're down about Lee, but we've got a good rotation.
RJG: Yeah, I know. Hell, if Burnett can manage to land his foot consistently in the same spot, with his stuff, it's almost like having a Cliff and I can't even finish that sentence.
BC: You don't have to be snippy!
RJG: You're right. I don't have to be. Yet somehow I am. Funny how that works isn't it?
BC: Do you call me just to be an @$$hole?
RJG: Well, I think I'm an @$$hole whether or not I'm calling you at the time. What? Do you expect me to change who I am just because I'm talking to the guy who failed to trade all our prospects for Felix Hernandez?
BC: Would you really want me to do that?
RJG: I'm just hurt right now.
BC: You realize we have three solid starting pitchers, with more than two competitive back end options for the rotation? There aren't that many teams in baseball who have as many good, viable pitching options. We're in a pretty good position.
RJG: Don't try to use fact and logic against me, Bronny! You know that's not fair!
BC: Have you been drinking?
RJG: What makes you think that?
BC: You've been yelling all your non exclamatory sentences throughout this conversation.
RJG: Maybe that's how I talk.
BC: It's not though. We've talked on multiple occasions. I know that's not how you talk.
RJG: I'm reading the paper.
RJG: The paper. I'm reading it.
BC: Man, you're losing it.
RJG: I haven't watched a baseball game since October! Of course I'm losing it!
BC: You need another hobby.
RJG: I'm sure someone like you has plenty of time for hobbies when you're busy not signing your free agent targets. Boom!
BC: I failed to sign one target to what was almost certainly an irresponsible contract anyway. Why are you so hung up on this?
RJG: I'm not really, it's just been such an uneventful Winter and Spring that I don't have anything else to talk about.
BC: You could simply not call me then.
RJG: It's not all about you, Bronny.
There you have it folks. The Yankees feel good about their rotation options heading into the season. I think it's hard to argue with them.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
"Kind of unlucky...Sick catch though." - Colin Curtis
Sir, you have just won my respect. You have managed to maintain perspective despite the setback. Never apologize for playing hard Colin!
However, an apology is due from Nick Swisher, who as a major league player shouldn't be playing hard in spring training. Swisher ran into and over a fence yesterday making a catch in foul territory. Its spring training Swish, don't go getting yourself injured before we have a chance to pitch ourselves out of contention this year! And on that front, Sergio Mitre just pitched three scoreless innings adding himself to the list of 5th starter candidates throwing well this spring. Honestly this is the best case scenario. All three candidates are pitching well and showing the team they can contribute. Keeping the extra candidates around after the season starts insures that whoever wins that spot won't become complacent. Its hard to slack off when you're replacement is already hired and in uniform, and is watching you, in a weird way, in a following you home and needing a restraining order kind of way.
Monday, March 7, 2011
Sunday, March 6, 2011
"Soriano was not the only time I was overruled this offseason," explained Cashman. "I didn't want to sign Martin either. There were serious concerns about his health and I just thought we could use those $4 million differently. I went to Hal and said, 'Look, I have this chair in the office I don't use, we can lean this board against it and use it as a back stop.' Hal's all, 'No, I demand a human catcher!' Sometimes people don't see eye to eye. Sometimes they don't appreciate your vision. But it's their team, their money."
Friday, March 4, 2011
Then there's the ever present question of who will become our backup catcher. In previous years, we've had players competing for this role, but we've never cared because none of them were a top prospect who could change the world with his bat alone. I'm starting to wonder if its a good idea bringing Montero back north with such limited experience in triple A. Some say that learning on the job in the big leagues could be huge for his growth, but I question how playing every few days even against higher competition, is better than playing every day. He may be close to the big leagues, but what's the rush? Why not let him play every day in Scranton to start the season and call him up in June or July? We know we have a servicable guy in Cervelli, so there's no real demand to have Montero up now. It just feels like we could potentially stunt Montero's growth all for the purpose of having a backup. Let's be clear, next season, Posada will not be our catcher, neither will Russell Martin. The best thing the Yankees can do is prepare Montero to be an everyday player. Even if he plays out a couple months on our bench to finish the season, I think having that extra refinement at the triple A level will go far. Thoughts?
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
"I tried to set up a sponsorship with Habitat for Humanity." Explained Mark Teixeira. "Boras, told them I needed $12 million up front plus a luxury suite in every city I would visit for them. I tried to tell him that it was charity work, but Boras didn't get it. He was all like 'Look at these numbers, my client can hit homeruns, and homeruns equal revenue streams for your organization.' The people at Habitat didn't know what to say. Boras then pretended to take a phone call, and when he got off he says 'That was the Ronald McDonald House, they're willing to pay $18 million! The market is shaping up, but my client really wants to work for you. Lets make a deal.' It was really embarrasing. Every time the negotiations would take a turn, he would pretend to take a call from Ronald McDonald himself. 'Ronald, is that you? What's that? Free happy meals for life? Habitat doesn't even want to include meals!' I didn't know what to do."
For now, Teixeira would prefer to work with another agent who is more familiar with charity negotiations.