Curtis Granderson has broken his forearm. Actually, scratch that. Curtis Granderson had his forearm broken in what can only be described as a brazen crime (hate crime? Probably). Regardless, the Yankees have some key decisions to make.
First, who will serve as the pro-union antithesis to Phil Hughes' anachronistic far right conservatism? Is Zoilo Almonte really ready for that role? He doesn't even have a subscription to The Atlantic.
Second, who will play center, besides Brett Gardner, who can't hit? I've offered my services but the team keeps projecting me as catching depth. I told them, I was like, 'I don't get on my knees for no man.' And they were like, 'crouching and kneeling are two different things.' And I was like, 'not on the streets.' And they were like, 'no, pretty much everywhere. They're different things.'
Third, who will strike out in every playoff at-bat ever? A-Rod may not be able to resume that role for some time.
Hopefully, the Yankees will figure these things out, and soon. Opening Day is only one month away.