Respect Jeter's Gangster

One Time, I Fought A Monkey

2012-01-29T12:35:00.000-08:00

It is being reported that Bud Selig is now to decide the compensation to the Red Sox for Theo Epstein's departure to the Cubs. First of all, I don't see how Bud Selig is qualified to make this determination, but I am, because, one time, I fought a monkey. Bud Selig is a well-known monkey-dodger, so I should make the final decision about the Red Sox's compensation.

Admittedly, it's complicated. The Sox lost their beloved GM, a man who brought two World Series to the franchise (even if neither of them counted since Big Papi and Manny were roid raging the whole time). How do you make up for the crushing loss of an executive who no longer wants to work for you? Normally, you hire someone else, preferably at a much lower salary, which the Red Sox did, but still they want more.

What should they get for saving money on executive payroll? Matt Garza? No. But I got the perfect solution: Alfonso Soriano. The Sox have the extra money, especially since they haven't done anything all off-season, so they should get Soriano. The guy can still hit for power, against minor, I mean National League pitching so he still brings something to the table. Plus, he allows the Sox to put their extra money to good use. I think this is the fairest solution possible.

Its Time to Give Him a Shot

2012-01-27T07:59:00.000-08:00

So the Yankees are looking for a DH, but do not want to spend money on one. Instead, Cashman would prefer to trade some of his excess pitching for an extra bat. Now, we absolutely could do that, or we could finally give Jorge Vazquez a shot in the bigs. I know the Yankees don't believe he can do what he did in the minors at the big league level, but that being said, he hit very well at the minor league level. Vazquez hit .262 with 32 homeruns and 93 RBI's in 455 at bats in Scranton. That should at least merit a major league 30-day free trial in the month of April. The amazing thing about prospects is that you can send them back where they came from if they don't work out. This doesn't address the problem of excess pitching. Right now our rotation pieces include Sabathia, Burnett, Nova, Kuroda, Hughes, Pineda, Garcia with the killer B's waiting in the wings. Burnett and Hughes will probably be the first to be considered for the bullpen. Hughes more than Burnett since the Yankees consider $16.5 million for a reliever not named Rafael Soriano to be a bit much. But truth be told, excess pitching has a way of solving itself. Injuries happen, inconsistancy happens, and suddenly your 7 starters a trimmed down to 5.

How Cashman Can Dazzle Us All

2012-01-25T12:54:00.000-08:00

The Yankees now have 7 starters vying for 5 spots in the rotation, while they also have an opening at the DH position. We could just use the DH spot to rest the AARP members of our team, but the most ideal situation would be to have a serviceable hitter for 350 - 400 at bats as our DH, who won't be insulted by getting benched while we give some of our other players a day off from playing the field. The free agent market has a few interesting possibilities including former Yankees Johnny Damon and Hideki Matsui. Matsui is more of a true DH in that he really can't play defense, but he would be cheaper than Damon who actually hit better and had more pop than Matsui last season. Damon was also good for 19 steals. Damon may be a great signing, but Cashman appears to have his hands tied financially. Apparently the Yankees were serious when they said they were looking to decrease payroll, and stick to a budget. It was news to me seeing as just one year ago they committed more than $30 million to a setup man, but that's beyond the point. So without being able to offer a $3-$4 million deal to Damon for one year what could the Yankees do? Well its time for Cashman to dazzle us again, and I suggest he do it with Burnett. If Cashman can turn Burnett into a permanent DH good for 20+ homeruns, I'd be more than impressed! In fact, if Cashman traded Burnett for some minor league prospects, ate half his salary, and used the other half he saved to sign a player like Damon, I would also be impressed! But mostly, I'd just be impressed if he could convince someone to take that contract. If that's not possible, what are people's feelings on trading Hughes?

Is It Time For Another Ninja Move?

2012-01-22T17:56:00.001-08:00

Prince Fielder still hasn't been signed. The Yankees need a DH. Is it time for another Teixeira style ninja move? Sure, we don't want to spend a ton of money on a guy who can only DH. But maybe, for the bat we'd be getting, we wouldn't be spending a ton of money at this point. That is, maybe we can get him for cheaper than one might have thought, and considering his age, and the role he'll play (DH), it will be worth it. That said, we don't know how he would do as a DH. He's always been a first baseman and we know from our Giambi experience that not everyone can take to DHing. But man, if we had Fielder as our DH, combined w/ A-Rod (even old A-Rod), Teixeira, Cano, Granderson. Oh man. That would be crazy. Probably not worth it for more than the first couple years, but crazy.

RJG Breaks Down the Carmona Situation

2012-01-20T14:40:00.000-08:00

So Fausto Carmona is actually Roberto Hernandez Heredia. This is like the end of 'The Usual Suspects' only Carmona got caught, because crime doesn't pay. Actually, Carmona's going to make $7 million next year. Crime pays quite well.

Some may be tempted to be upset by Carmona's actions, but he plays for Cleveland, so it was a victimless crime. Also, lying about your age is an American tradition. How many times did you try to buy alcohol before you turned 21? Exactly. So STF about it!

But let's also keep something else in mind. We live in a country so wealthy we make people spectacularly rich for being adept at throwing and/or catching a ball. The Dominican Republic? A little less wealthy. I didn't grow up in the Dominican Republic, or poor, but If someone said they would pay me at minimum, hundreds of thousands of dollars to throw a ball, I'd lie my @$$ off. I would lie about my age, my name, my love for throwing a ball. I would even stoop so low as to say that I love the city of Cleveland (nothing against Cleveland, but love?). The only thing I would have even the slightest inclination to be honest about are my bank account and routing numbers. That's it.

Should We Be Worried?

2012-01-19T17:28:00.000-08:00

Fausto Carmona, of "the Yanks should trade for Carmona" fame, has been arrested for apparently falsifying his visa documents. It turns out that his real name may not be Fausto, something the authorities began to suspect when he said his name was Fausto. Further, Fausto may be 3 years older than MLB thinks he is.

This is relevant for the Yankees since they just executed a trade for another Dominican flame thrower, Michael Pineda. Part of the appeal of Pineda is that he's so young, but the recent Fausto revelations suggest Pineda is at least 34 years old. Having him under control for the next five years no longer seems like an advantage, and his inability to develop a change-up to this point becomes increasingly alarming. The Yankees would be wise to make him train with CC Sabathia, a more effective, and even larger, left-hander.

Perhaps the greatest tragedy of all this, though, is that now Cleveland has something to be ashamed of in addition to its record. And city. Mostly its city. That's hard. Life blows, Cleveland. Deal with it.

RJG Speaks to the Cash Man and Things Get Weird

2012-01-17T14:51:00.000-08:00

It's been a long time since we over at RJG fired up the old video satellite phone and rung up good friend and future best man at our weddings Brian Cashman. The man who prefers the nickname 'Bronny' spoke to us at length about the trades that recently shook up the baseball world as well as some other subjects. Below is a transcript of our conversation:

BC: Hello?

RJG: Yes, hi. I'm trying to get a hold of a Mr. Goodah.

BC: I think you may have the wrong nu . . .

RJG: A Mr. Goodah-dea to trade for Pineda! Hey Cash! Congrats on the big trade!

BC: Oh, it's you. Yeah. Thanks. Um . . .

RJG: Kuroda too. Way to throw money at an aging pitcher!

BC: Well, I wouldn't characterize it exactly like that, I mean . . .

RJG: Oh totally. He's totally worth it. 37. $10 million. Makes perfect sense.

BC: You know what doesn't make sense?!!

RJG: That was oddly aggressive. What?

BC: Instruction manuals.

RJG: Instruction manuals?

BC: Instruction manuals.

RJG: How much coke did you do in celebration of last Friday?

BC: Stay with me here. A lot. But I just cleaned out that drawer in the kitchen where everyone keeps all their instruction manuals, I can't believe all the $#!% in there! I threw out an instruction manual for a microwave.

RJG: Ok.

BC: A microwave! I mean, seriously, why does a microwave even come with an instruction manual? Who on earth is in possession of both literacy and an utter lack of familiarity with the functioning of a microwave?

RJG: I suppose they're pretty intuitive at this point, but . . .

BC: When you open the instruction manual to a microwave, printed in giant letters should be the words: Are You #$&%@* Serious?!

RJG: So I heard you reached arbitration agreements with some pla . . .

BC: My toaster came with instructions. My toaster. Toaster's haven't changed in design or function since 1953. Why is there a pamphlet explaining how this works? Honestly, the instruction manual to a toaster should instruct you to plug it in and then take it with you into the bath, because if you don't know how a toaster works, you need to go.

RJG: Yeah but there are important contact numbers in it I imagine.

BC: My toaster instruction manual was 20 pages long, and that's just the English language section. It was bigger than the phonebook that inexplicably gets left on my doorstep. Why? Everyone's phone is internet enabled now. Your phone IS a phonebook. It's the giant Google icon!

RJG: You're really worked up about this.

BC: It took me like seven minutes to clean out that drawer. I could've done something productive with my time!

RJG: What is wrong with you?

BC: Your face!

RJG: That's unca . . .

[Click]

So there you have it folks. Bronny Cash is satisfied with the work the Yanks have done so far this off-season.

Other Yankees News

2012-01-16T18:03:00.000-08:00

The Yankees, after pulling off a laws of physics altering trade, also signed RHP Hiroki Kuroda to a one-year contract worth $10 million last Friday. Kuroda, a bit of an unknown commodity in the AL, spent a long time playing in a far-off $#!%hole. He also played in Japan. Oh snap! Have fun with that cesspool, Joe Torre! But seriously, who is Kuroda? Kuroda is 37, and has a career 3.45 ERA. Most analysts agree that he is likely to pitch much better now that he's going to be playing in a place where he doesn't have to deal with the daily and debilitating anxiety of possibly being viciously assaulted in the parking lot. Kuroda's last play-off appearance saw him give up 6 runs in 1.1 innings, meaning we now have two A.J. Burnetts. How can we go wrong with that? We can't.

AL East Gamesmanship

2012-01-15T08:46:00.000-08:00

The panic set in late Thursday. The Boston Red Sox had just sent shock waves with the rumored news that they were close to an agreement on a one year deal with Ryan Sweeney. The Tampa Bay Rays, their $500 budget already stretched to the max, quietly conceded the season behind closed doors.

"It's just not fair," complained one anonymous Tampa Bay executive. "We just can't compete with that sort of fire power."

Baltimore Orioles team president quickly called a meeting of all essential and non-essential staff in order to discuss the team's options. The Blue Jays, all hope for the season lost, began quietly shopping Jose Bautista, prepared to take any prospect package whatsoever, realizing that their hopes to be competitive would have to wait until at least 2013. Unless the Red Sox managed to re-sign Sweeney. The thought made the room cold.

It was with this backdrop that the Yankees began their frenzied quest to find the sort of pitching that would allow them to at least contain Boston and their new nuclear weapon. The Yankees, long believed to have the worst pitching staff in baseball, had long ago abandoned hopes for the 2012 season.

"We weren't sure we'd even bother to field a team," explained one Yankee executive. "I mean, we had CC and then question marks. Question marks don't win baseball games, pitchers do! And frankly, we can make more money hosting weekly Jay-Z concerts at the stadium than fielding a loser."

Brian Cashman assembled his staff for a late night impromptu meeting. It was clear from the red in their eyes that many had been crying for hours.

"Where do we go from here?" Cashman asked. The silence in the room seemed to suffocate everything except the sense of despair.

But the Yankees had one last trick up their sleeve. One final glimmer of hope that made them think maybe they could pull off a miracle. The Yankees had Jesus Montero.

Jesus Montero was the only catcher ever to hit a home run in his rookie season. His batting average, power, and speed was matched only by his will to win. He was the Yankee of the future. The Yankees knew, however, that if they wanted to compete with Boston, they would have to try to trade him.

"It was hard to swallow," explained one Yankees executive. "Here we have the greatest hitting catcher of all time and we're talking about trading him. I mean, even if we found a team willing to take on the overwhelming responsibility of having a player like him on their roster, what could we possibly get for him? For me, it was like that 'Beauty and the Beast' movie where the clock and the candelabra are friends even though everybody knows they're natural enemies. It just didn't make any sense!"

The Yankees front office worked through the night. They inquired about the availability of Roy Halladay and Cliff Lee from Philadelphia, but the Phillies were concerned about their inability to retain Montero once he became a free agent. The San Francisco Giants balked at a chance to have Montero in exchange for Tim Lincecum and Matt Cain, fearing the environmental impact on McCovey Cove from the inevitable barrage of official Major League baseballs hurtling towards the delicate aquatic eco-system at mind-numbing speeds. The answer was a firm 'no'. The terror in the Yankees' hearts was beginning to feel like a permanent fixture.

Then, out of extreme desperation, Brian Cashman picked up the phone and called a GM so powerful, no one even knows how to spell his last name.

"Jack, it's Brian. I have a proposition for you."

With these words the Yankees and Mariners embarked on a path that would soon unsettle not only the baseball world, but 150 years of conventional sports wisdom. When the dust had finally settled, the sky again visible for the first time in what felt like years, the Yankees had traded Jesus Montero for Michael Pineda.

Pineda, a 7'4" knuckleballer, now made the Yankees the favorites not only to win the World Series, but this year's NBA Championship as well. Boston filed an official protest with the Commissioner's office, accusing the Yankees and Mariners of collusion. The complaint fell on deaf ears.

"This wasn't about collusion," explained Brian Cashman. "This was about restoring balance to the force. It had to be done."

Damn!

2012-01-13T21:12:00.001-08:00

The Yankees have completed a trade of Jesus Montero with Seattle for Michael Pineda. The Yankees have given up an unproven hitter for an unproven pitcher. Of course, considering the Yankees stash of proven hitters, they were far more in need of suspect pitching production than suspect hitting production. It isn't that Montero didn't show brilliance in his brief stint with the Yankees (New York, not Scranton/Wilkes-Barre), it's just that we have no idea whether he can sustain this brilliance over a full season, let alone a career. Pineda has already shown that he can't sustain his brilliance over a full season, but whether he can be brilliant over the course of a career, or the 2012 season, is yet to be seen. The Yankees took the chance that made more sense to them, and the Mariners took the chance that made more sense to no one. After all, what team doesn't attempt to build a winner around a single pitcher and some power hitters at positions not traditionally known for power? Okay, up until now the 2012 Yankees, but that isn't the point. The point is, we have a 23 year old pitcher projected to be the next Felix Hernandez through last May. You can't possibly go wrong with that!

The Yankees have also signed Hiroki Kuroda. This is important to know because it not only adds depth, it avoids that inevitable "who?" moment when you make your next trip to Yankee Stadium and find out who the starting pitcher is. Sorry Edwin Jackson, looks like you won't be overpaid by us next season. Don't worry, you'll still be overpaid. But let's be frank. You throw a ball to an associate/maybe friend 60'6" away. You will be overpaid for what you do next season no matter what amount you sign for.

Posada Retires

2012-01-09T07:41:00.000-08:00

The Yankees news silence was broken last week with the announcement that Jorge Posada has chosen to retire. There had been talks that the Rays were interested in him, and honestly I wouldn't have been mad if he signed somewhere else had he felt like he had more left in the tank. He's certainly earned the right to leave the game on his own terms. And he did, forever a Yankee. There will be lots of talk about his Hall of Fame credentials and his accomplishments as one of the great Yankee catchers. It was hard seeing him relegated to such a limited role last season, and even to see how little respect the Yankees seemed to have for him last year. Regardless of what happened though, Posada joins Pettitte, as one of the homegrown greats from the dynasty era. For those interested, Chris Jaffe at the Hardball Times wrote an article on Posada's career highlights worth reading.

New Year, Same Team

2012-01-04T07:05:00.001-08:00

Now that the Yankees have re-signed Andruw Jones, its looking like the 2012 Yankees are more or less set, and they look an awful lot like the 2011 Yankees, just one year older. Some might be concerned that this team isn't a world series team, but they base that mainly on the fact that this very team didn't make it out of the first round of the playoffs last year. But there are a few factors that could really change this:

1. A-Rod staying healthy. A healthy A-Rod is good for 30 homeruns easily and could crack 40 in an especially focused year. At this stage I would rate the chances of A-Rod staying healthy for the entire season very slim, but even a healthy A-Rod for 130 games and a healthy A-Rod in the playoffs would change the way this team looks quite a bit. Last year in the playoffs, A-Rod wasn't the power threat he typically is, and thats a big void in the middle of your lineup.

2. AJ Burnett gaining some consistancy. I think the hopes of AJ becoming a solid number 2 are pretty much out the window. At this point I'm not looking for a lights out Burnett, just a consistant Burnett. If he can avoid the implode inning, and string together some quality starts, I'd be happy with that. All things considered, a Burnett that can give us 6 innings and 3 runs is better than the 4 inning 7 run version we would see all too often last year.

3. Phil Hughes learning how to pitch. The truth is, Hughes isn't an overpowering pitcher. Last year, they acted like his fastball sitting at 89mph was the cause for all his performance woes. But even at full strength he sits at 92-93mph. Big league hitters can hit that. He needs to learn how to pitch. If I learned anything from Mike Mussina its that you can have a lot of success with decreased velocity if you know how to pitch. The problem with Hughes is that he's like AJ in that he really only has two-pitches: a fastball and curveball (they both throw an underdeveloped changeup). The only problem is that in his prime, AJ could hit 98mph with that fastball, and Hughes cannot. He needs to develop his secondary pitches.

4. Having one of the babies emerge as a leader. Betances, Banuelos, or even Noesi need to step up and lock down one of those starting spots. If they can do that we'll be in good position for a playoff push.

5. Everything else stay the same. Our 2012 success hinges on our ability to get more out of the players we didn't get much from last year, and the same from the players who were exceptional. Though the chances of this happening aren't great, you never know what surprises may come. Maybe Jeter has an MVP year, or Martin hits 30 homeruns, or Gardner steals 100 bases. Its a new year!

Yankees in Mix for Garza, Red Sox Land Bailey

2011-12-29T07:06:00.000-08:00

Its recently been reported that the Red Sox have traded for Oakland closer Andrew Bailey. In the meantime, rumors have it that Theo Epstein is listening to offers for Matt Garza, and the Red Sox, Yankees and Blue Jays are all in the mix. Garza pitched pretty well for the Rays a couple years back and could be a good pick up, but the Yankees haven't been willing to part with their prospects. With 2 other AL East teams in the mix, I'm sure the asking price will be high. In other news, the Yankees have signed Hideki Okajima to a minor league deal in hopes of having him compete as the left handed specialist. Okajima was very succesful for a number of years with the Red Sox and could be another lightning in the bottle situation for the Yankees. Lastly, A-Rod's knee was operated on by Kobe Bryant in his guest house in Los Angeles. The procedure takes A-Rod's own blood, and injects it into his knee, a process which the human body is incapable of completing itself.

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and a Preemptive Happy New Year

2011-12-27T06:32:00.000-08:00

With the holiday season fully upon us, it is likely that news from the Yankee world will continue to be sparse. So sparse in fact that we forgot to wish everyone a merry Christmas as the Yankees off season had lulled us to sleep. For this reason, we would like to now wish everyone a late merry Christmas, happy holidays for anyone who doesn't celebrate Christmas, and of course a happy new year to everyone because whether you celebrate new years or not, the new year is still coming.

With that said, the recent news that the Yankees are paying their lowest luxury tax is proof of a page being turned in Yankeedom. Over the past few years, the Yankees have shifted from the previous strategy of big free agent spending and past-their-prime trades. Don't get me wrong, the Yankees still spend big on free agents and make trades but now the deals are getting smarter. CC Sabathia, despite the Yankees bizarre strategy of outbidding themselves to land him, was a good signing. It wasn't the Kevin Brown, Randy Johnson approach to the rotation. Sabathia was a young pitcher in his prime, and we've reaped the benefits of that. Granderson and Swisher were two very intelligent trades that have landed us two cost controlled productive players. Last season, the front office diverted from the smart building strategy and signed Soriano, but I think they learned their lesson as they haven't jumped at anyone like that this year. If this holds out and the front office doesn't panic, we could actually see the Yankees build a team from their own farm system.

Yankees Perplexed By Luxury Tax Bill

2011-12-23T09:59:00.000-08:00

The Yankees were recently hit with a $13.9 million luxury tax by MLB. Yankee brass, however, was for the most part befuddled by the bill.

"Thir...teen? Million?" asked a confused Randy Levine. "Do numbers even go that low?"

"When I saw the number, I thought it was the latest minor league signing bonus by the Nationals," explained Brian Cashman. "I've never heard of a number that low associated with the Yankees. I called experts at Columbia University just to make sure it was an actual number and not a theoretical construct or algorithm or something like that."

"We haven't paid it yet," explained new Boss, Hal Steinbrenner. "You know how regular checks have that line which ends with the printed word 'dollars'? My checks end with the printed words 'billion dollars', so I can't pay the bill until I get my new pedestrian checks. That's how they're known in the industry."

One Yankees executive raised a more pressing social concern: "I read about a number like that in college once. How are the Pirates expected to live on that this year?"

Rangers Win Rights to Darvish

2011-12-20T08:32:00.000-08:00

The Rangers have won the rights to negotiate with Darvish with a record setting $51.7 million bid. Now that the Darvish sweepstakes are over, Yankee fans are left to wonder what's next. The Yankees weren't really in this sweepstake, and Cashman has preached patience in this hot stove season. Last season the Yankees got antsy and signed Rafael Soriano for no reason, so the idea of signing just to sign someone has really lost its appeal to the Yankee front office. Apparently, the Yankees are going to stay the course, and let some of their own prospects compete for starting spots in the rotation. This could very well be a rebuilding year, but it could pay out big for the future.

Braun's Failed Drug Test Due to Private Medical Issue

2011-12-19T09:03:00.000-08:00

Yes, its been reported that the reason for Ryan Braun's failed drug test was a medication he was taking for a "private medical issue". Though the medical issue has not been mentioned, many wonder if its the same "private medical issue" that Manny Ramirez had forcing him to take a medication that caused his failed drug test. Of course, Ramirez's medication was a female fertility drug, which I would definitely want to keep private too. Although Matt Kemp asks that we not jump to judgement about Braun, I have to wonder, if you're taking a drug, any drug, for a personal medical issue in the midst of an MVP caliber season, wouldn't you want to run it by the players union or MLB? Get some sort of sign off? It didn't work for JC Romero who was suspended even though he had gone to the officials asking if a certain over-the-counter product was okay to use and then being told it was. He even brought the container he had purchased to his hearing, showing that it had no warning label on it. Regardless he had to serve his suspension. But at least with Romero it looked like the officials were on a witch hunt, whereas with Braun it looks like he's covering up after getting caught. I'm curious to see how this plays out, but the question is, if Braun is found guilty, will Kemp get the award?

Yu Darvish Posted, Waiting on Announcement

2011-12-16T07:08:00.000-08:00

Darvish has been posted and bids have been entered! The Yankees allegedly have a bid in on him, as do several other teams hoping that he won't be another Matsuzaka or Igawa, and will in fact be the Japanese Cy Young. My impression is that the Yankees will not be winning this bid. There are teams much more desperate, and the Yankees have been following a much more measured approach to building the team. Namely, that approach is to not build the team, which is a bold approach considering our rotation last season was pieced together with 3 unknowns (Garcia, Colon, and Hughes), 1 rookie (Nova), and 1 veteran who just didn't have it (Burnett). But the approach could work. If we get the 2011 Nova, the 2010 Hughes, the 2001 Garcia, and the 2008 Burnett, we could very well have a powerhouse rotation.

Reclamation Projects

2011-12-14T07:01:00.000-08:00

This has been the quietest hot stove season in Yankee land in recent memory, and I for one am sick of it. So here's a couple reclamation projects to consider. Available on the free agent market are former starters Scott Kazmir and Justin Duchscherer. In the past I advocated against signing Duchscherer because it would take too long to learn how to pronounce his name correctly. An investment of time I just wasn't willing to make. But with so little going on with the Yankees, and so much time on my hands, I think its time. Sign Duchscherer to a minor league deal, snatch up Kazmir while you're at it, and lets see if either of them can compete for a spot as the 5 guy, or at the very least as another releiver. Kazmir may be the left handed specialist we've been looking for. All I'm asking is that we do something, anything, to give me something to talk about at the water cooler at work. Right now, I'm left talking about life, and people's kids and crap like that. C'mon Yankees!

Matt Kemp Is Pissed Right Now

2011-12-11T14:50:00.001-08:00

Beside being arguably undeserving of the NL MVP award from a purely statistical standpoint, Ryan Braun has now tested positive for PEDs. While he embarks on his Floyd Landis Tour of Innocence, the rest of us are left to pick up the pieces. Writers are mad, feeling deceived once again by a very rich man who claimed he could hit baseballs very far and with frequency. It hurts. This is the sports world's version of Occupy Wall Street. Humble writers just scraping out a living being duped and manipulated by those in power. Or at least with power, and speed, maybe a couple other tools if they're lucky. Either way, we're all surprised by this turn of events. Except maybe Braun, he presumably knew he was taking PEDs, unlike A-Rod. There's only one thing we can do at this point: apologize to Matt Kemp for giving an award that probably should've been his to a player with better protection in his line-up and PEDs in his system. Damn. In his own defense, Braun did have this to say: "I'm a computer genius, like the Terminator."

So true.

Give Me Something To Work With Guys!

2011-12-10T17:49:00.001-08:00

The Yankees are denying a report that they have made an offer to free agent pitcher Hiroki Kuroda. That's a real d**k move by the Yankees. Just humor us. Say you made a preliminary offer. Lie. I don't care. There is nothing to write about. News is so sparse it's hard to even make up something plausible. Please, do something. Please. Pretend even. Please.

A Sprinkling of News

2011-12-08T07:57:00.000-08:00

There hasn't been much to report of late, but there have been some small pieces of news that are noteworthy. The Yankees posted $2 million to the Seibu Lions of Japan, to have exclusive negotiation rights for shortstop Hiroyuki Nakajima. It appears to be a depth move, that won't cost a fortune and on that end it looks like it could be a smart pick up (depending on what his contract demands are). Last year in Japan he batted .297 with 16 homeruns, and 100 RBI's. Power typically doesn't translate to the majors, which is why you see a guy like Akinori Iwamura be a 20-30 homerun threat in Japan, and hit 7 when he came to the Rays. It will be interesting to see what kind of player he is, and if he can be a good defensive presence on the field.

Additionally we picked up right handed pitcher Brad Meyers from the Washington Nationals in the rule 5 draft. Good for us.

The NY Post reported that the Yankees are willing to trade AJ Burnett and eat $8 million of the remaining $33 million left in his contract. Shockingly, there have been no takers.

Outside of Yankee land, the big players are starting to move. Heath Bell and Jose Reyes have been signed by the Miami Marlins, who have apparently invested all their money to sign free agents, leaving none to design their new hats. They have a substantial offer in to CJ Wilson, who is looking at a less substantial but still relavant offer from his home town team the Angels. Speaking of the Angels, they just signed Pujols to a 10 year deal. I'm sure signing a 32 year old player to a 10 year contract won't come back to bite them at all.

Standing Pat...Still

2011-12-05T07:56:00.000-08:00

It was recently reported that the Marlins picked up closer Heath Bell and shortstop Jose Reyes, making one of the biggest splashes of this hot stove season. The Yankees on the other hand have remained disengaged. The GM meetings are going on right now, but Cashman doesn't seem all too interested.

"I went to speak to Cashman." Explained one rival GM. "I came into his hotel room, and he had what appeared to be a draft board of baseball cards of historical players. He pretended to be on the phone like he was drafting players, and he got really excited when he picked up Cy Young and Honus Wagner in two consecutive draft picks. I tried to interrupt him to discuss a trade idea, but he was like 'I just got Cy Young, who do you got!?'" So the negotiation didn't go anywhere."

While the Marlins are spending like the Yankees, and the Yankees are playing it quiet, Yankee blogs across the country continue to suffer.

Yankees Memorabilia Auction for the Domestic Violence Project

2011-12-01T05:33:00.000-08:00

Over the past few years, the clubhouse manager of the Trenton Thunder has been running an auction to benefit the Domestic Violence Project. The auction bids off a number of Yankees memorabilia including signed hats, bats, spikes and balls by both current Yankees, and Yankees prospects. As the money all goes to a great cause, remove all your inhibitions, start bidding and bid often! They got Derek Jeter, Andy Pettitte, Reggie Jackson, Hector Noesi, Manny Banuelos, and Dellin Betances game used and signed stuff! Even Shane Victorino pitched in with a couple autographs. They all come with certificates of authenticity. These make great Christmas gifts! Get in on it!

Breaking News Story!

2011-11-30T19:42:00.001-08:00

Not really. But the Red Sox do have a new manager, one Bobby Valentine. Valentine has spent the last few years managing in Japan, which should give the Sox some key insights into the next player they overbid for/overpay from the archipelagic nation. You may be wondering how this alters the rivalry. It doesn't.

Things That Have Happened Since We Last Posted

2011-11-29T12:51:00.000-08:00

Recently, we here at the RJG have taken the Joel Sherman approach to blogging, posting infrequently and with no regard to whether or not there are any developments in the world of the Yankees. I'm not going to lie, it's a good approach. Far less taxing than actually having to think of something to say. But it is time to give you, our loyalish readers, a new update. Since we last posted, it was reported that Mo might have surgery on his vocal chords and that the Yankees reached a one-year agreement with Freddy Garcia for Pedro Feliciano money ($4M). That's it. That's all the updates we have and that you already knew about. See you in six weeks.

The New CBA

2011-11-21T22:09:00.000-08:00

Reports indicate that the new CBA is more or less done, and will likely include HGH blood testing. This is bad news for Yankee fans, who are counting on a big 2012 from Alex Rodriguez. Well, we can forget about it now. At least MLB hasn't banned the stem cell therapy Bartolo Colon got last year, even if the Federal government has. Maybe A-Rod should look into that. The CBA also includes a litany of items nobody gives a $#!% about but apparently took a while to negotiate. I guess nobody could bring themselves to care enough to settle the matters. These include things like amateur draft compensation, free agent signing compensation, and international free agent compensation. You might be saying to yourself that these are important matters. They affect competitive balance and we hate losing draft picks for signing Rafael Soriano to an ill-advised contract. But if you can name a draft pick from the previous two seasons for any team whose last name isn't Bichette, Strasburg, or Harper, you need to close all the adult entertainment tabs surrounding RJG in your browser, then go ahead and close RJG too, and go outside. Seriously. Go outside. 20 minutes. That's all I'm asking. It's for your own good. Seriously.

Time for a Call

2011-11-15T09:44:00.000-08:00

It's been ages since we last spoke to Yankees GM Brian Cashman via satellite phone, but with the GM Meetings starting up, it was time to get him on the horn and find out his plans for this offseason. The following is a transcript of our conversation:

BC: Hello?

RJG: Hey Bronny. It's been a long time.

BC: Yeah. It has. Look, I'm kind of busy. I can't talk right now.

RJG: Oh. $#!%. Do you have, like, some top secret negotiation going on right now?

BC: Yeah, something like that. I gotta . . .

RJG: Whoa, whoa. Slow down Bronny. Just give me a little taste, you know, let me wet my beak a little. What are you workin' on?

BC: I can't discuss that right now, but it's big.

RJG: Pujols big? Prince Fielder big? CJ Wilson medium? Come on, Bronny! Look, I'll just report it as a rumor. Unsourced.

BC: Okay, but you can't tell anyone! Especially those @$$holes down the hall from Milwaukee!

RJG: Oh $#!%. You're signing Prince Fielder, aren't you?! You crazy bastard! Where are you going to put him?

BC: No. It's not Fielder. It's not a player acquisition.

RJG: It's not a player acquisition? What are you talking about?

BC: Look, I'm on the other line with Pizza Hut and I got them to throw in a free medium with the purchase of a large and breadsticks. I don't even have a coupon, but I lied and said I did but that I left it in my other suitcase. I'm trying to get some free chicken wings and pepsi bottles. Don't blow this up for me!

RJG: Why would the Milwaukee guys care about that?

BC: Because they're jerks, that's why.

RJG: When you got to the hotel, did you go straight for the mini-bar or did you remove your coat first?

BC: That's awfully judgmental of you. You know what I think?

RJG: What?

BC: I think you're jealous of my mad negotiating skills.

RJG: Can we please talk about baseball?

BC: No. You're mad because when you order a pizza you pay full price and you don't get $#!% for free. You're probably eating a pizza right now, aren't you?

RJG: What does that have to do with anything?

BC: You paid full price, didn't you?

RJG: Can we please change the su. . .

BC: You paid full price and now you're upset that I'm going to get a free medium without a coupon. And some pepsi. Pepsi and free mediums.

RJG: I hope you choke on that medium pizza.

BC: I'm more worried about choking on all this money I'm saving!

RJG: You motherfu. . .

[Click]

So there you have it folks. The GM Meetings are underway and the Yankees are hard at work planning their offseason; perhaps even laying the groundwork for a Curtis Granderson-type trade come the Winter Meetings.

Where's the Noise?

2011-11-13T11:19:00.000-08:00

Years ago, Savion Glover taught us all to bring da noise and da funk. But since signing CC Sabathia to a one year extension last week, the Yankees have been surprisingly quiet. In the meantime, other teams have stolen the spotlight. The Marlins have given a tour of their new facility, and a contract offer, to every available free agent in baseball, and some in a few other sports. The Nats had their catcher kidnapped by Colombian drug lords, and when Jimmy Carter failed to secure his release after 48 hours of direct negotiations, a Venezuelan black-ops military unit secured his rescue with peace offerings from an M-16. Where were the Yankees during all of this? Doing a coat drive. WTF? That may get you some blog coverage (not here of course, we already have coats) but not national media attention. Meanwhile the Hanshin Tigers continue to mock us after tricking us into throwing millions at Kei Igawa on the premise that he would throw balls down in the strike-zone. Even worse, Scranton/Wilkes-Barre, the only minor league team in baseball that's not sure what town it plays in, continues to undermine our future. This week better be different, or else . . .

Time to Make a Decision

2011-11-11T12:30:00.000-08:00

The Red Sox have just lost their closer to the Philadelphia Phillies. Earlier in the offseason, they had lost their Manager and GM to chicken wings and beer in the clubhouse. With everything going on around Boston, it is only natural to ask, who will be our rival next season?

Don't get me wrong. We'll still act like, despite their 20 game deficit in the standings, beating Boston is key to our baseball success. But, for a real thrill, we're going to need a new rival. Just on a part-time basis mind you.

We could stay internal, keep it in the division and look at Tampa Bay, but it's hard to hate a team whose home stadium is filled with your own fans when you play them. It makes it hard to get aggressive. Besides, half the Yankees live in Tampa anyways, making the Trop basically a home game for us. The Rays can't serve as our rival.

The Phillies are an option. After all, they keep landing players we'd love to have. Halladay. Lee. Oswalt. Now they signed Papelbon? Well, it's not that we wanted Papelbon, and actually they kind of did us a favor. Not that I want to face Bard with his 110mph change-up, but I want to have to look at Papelbon even less. Plus the Phillies play in another league. Different league + did us a favor = not our new rival.

But maybe I've made a mistake. Maybe I didn't look internal enough. What about the Scranton/Wilkes-Barre Yankees? Those motherf@#$%*s regularly send us players who don't pan out and give up runs as though its contractually stipulated that they do so. Remember when we gave Andrew Brackman his own country to play for us? How did that whole Scranton development plan go? These dirty sons of dishes keep screwing us time and time again. I think we've found our new rival.

Wilson at $75 million?

2011-11-08T05:40:00.000-08:00

According to this New York Post article, it is believed that Wilson could be signed in the 5 year, $75 million range. That's $15 million per season. For comparisons sake, Burnett signed a 5 year, $82.5 million contract, or $16.5 million per season. That would put Wilson at 36 in the last year of his contract. Yesterday we posted that Wilson, as the top free agent pitcher would likely get more than Burnett's deal, in both years and dollars, and that we didn't think he would be worth the investment. But say he could be signed in the neighborhood of 5 years and $75 million, is he worth it then?

That article also mentions that Cashman has been in contact with Edwin Jackson's agent, Scott Boras. We know what Jackson does: throws hard, but can't find the strike zone. But I wonder if he may be a better option lower in our rotation than say, us hoping on a Phil Hughes comeback, or signing Colon or Garcia again.

Why Not Wilson?

2011-11-07T07:18:00.000-08:00

I'll admit that for a team entering an off season where the biggest need is pitching, displaying little interest in the top free agent pitcher makes little sense. But that seems to be what's going on with the Yankees and CJ Wilson. He's been succesful as a starter, is a lefty, so why have the Yankees been so cool towards him? The main issue isn't whether he will better the team or not. He definitely would. He's a much more stable presence than AJ Burnett or Phil Hughes, and would pitch better than Garcia or Colon can at this stage in their careers. He'd slot in as the perfect number 2 behind Sabathia. However, Wilson is not a number 2 pitcher according to this market. What this means is that the $82.5 million for 5 years we gave to AJ to be our number 2, is probably way too short in both money and years to land CJ Wilson. In this market, he is the top ace and a left handed one at that. This doesn't even take into account that he's only been a starter for 2 years, has a delivery that raises health concerns, and is 31 going into free agency. It would not be surprising for him to get 6-7 year offers, which would put him at 37 or 38 by the end of his contract. For all these reasons, the Yankees haven't jumped all over him as they did with Cliff Lee or CC Sabathia. Personally, I think the Yankees may be best served trying to bring up some of their prospects. Noesi should get a shot, and maybe a mid season call up for Betances or Banuelos could give us some results. But if we do this, we may have to concede the season (think 2008 Joba, Hughes and Kennedy).

Gold Gloves and Silver Bats

2011-11-03T06:23:00.000-07:00

Cano and Granderson won silver slugger awards, while no Yankee was picked for a gold glove. Its not surprising that we didn't win any gold gloves. For the most part we played very good defense, but we weren't a web gem team. Granderson and Gardner were probably our best defenders, but centerfield is a defensively rich position, and the left field award was won by a converted third baseman who recorded 20 outfield assists. Its tough to beat that.

Now with these announcements out of the way, the question is what is going on with the players union negotiation? As far as I can see, slotting continues to be the biggest hold up, and it really shouldn't be. Slotting seems like a reasonable request in a sport with no salary cap. Owners look greedy when they want a salary cap, but the slotting issue makes the players look greedy. In the interest of the game, these negotiation should come to a resolution soon so we can focus on what really matters: the hot stove season.

Off Season Plan In Full Swing

2011-11-01T06:18:00.000-07:00

CC Sabathia signed an extension which puts him at 5 years, $122 million for the rest of his time in pinstripes, and this of course locks down the most glaring need of the Yankees off season. However, the Yankees rebuilding plan for this off season goes as follows:

Step 1: Sign Sabathia.

Step 2: ?

This is an odd year for the Yankees since where they have needs, there isn't really a market to replenish, and where the Yankees are not looking to fill holes, that's what the market is supplying in abundance. The Yankees need pitching, but they aren't too high on CJ Wilson, and Yu Darvish seems like he'll be too pricey. Those are the top players available. The Yankees aren't looking for a bat, yet Albert Pujols and Prince Fielder are hitting the market, and they both carry big bats. The Yankees have to hope either for a trade, or for some rookies to grow this year. I'm all for having some of the up and coming pitchers compete for a spot, but if that's the tactic for this year its going to be a long winter.

CC Returns

2011-10-31T16:40:00.000-07:00

Looks like a deal is done.

Slotting, I'm All For It

2011-10-27T08:13:00.000-07:00

According to this article cited on the Lohud blog the last major issue in the MLB labor negotiations is about slotting in the first year players draft. Slotting is basically a system where there is a fixed signing bonus attributed to each round of the draft so that all players drafted in that round would receive the same bonus. A couple years ago I wrote about this topic, and still feel the same way: I'm all for it. Yes, small market teams receive money from MLB because of revenue sharing, and they can use this money to sign players. But the truth is, these small market teams aren't going to compete in the free agent market. As a result, they need to rely heavily on the draft. Some will suggest that small market teams can also go the trade route to build their teams, but this won't work unless they have quality prospects to trade. Again, it all goes back to the draft. So what happens when players like Stephen Strasburg, Rick Porcello, or even Andrew Brackman become available in the draft? They make multi-million dollar contracts without even having played a single game in the major leagues. And since some small market teams know that top prospects are going to demand a lot of money, they'll often times skip them in the draft for a lesser talent knowing that they won't be able to afford them. As a result, the teams that need the draft the most, don't benefit from their higher draft pick. And don't get me wrong, guys like Strasburg and Porcello or legitimate big league talents. But they should not receive veteran free agent money before proving they can play at the big league level. Because there is no salary cap, those guys will see big contracts in their future, but they should have to earn them with their production in the majors, not their production in college ball. In this way, slotting would make the draft do what it should do: give the best pick of prospects to the crappiest teams.

The one concession MLB should make if they haven't already is make an MLB scholarship fund available to players drafted out of high school and junior college. The idea is that for players drafted lower in the draft, their signing bonuses are typically not life changing. If they devote 4-5 years of their lives to playing minor league ball (where the salaries are not life changing either), and they never make it to the majors, it would be good for them to have the option to go back to school with a paid scholarship from MLB. I just think of it from the players perspective. You sign lower in the draft as a high school player, you play a number of years in the minor leagues, get injured or released for whatever reason, your big league dreams are no longer available to you, and now what options do you have? You've committed the opening years of your adult life to a career that is now unavailable to you. An MLB scholarship would be a nice way to take care of players in this position.

What do you all think? Are you for slotting? Against it?

La Russa Had Phone Problems

2011-10-26T06:17:00.000-07:00

For those of us out there wondering how La Russa could ever have lost a game, the reason became clear during his press conference when he revealed that the phone that connects the bullpen to the dugout had poor volume. La Russa was calling for ace closer Motte, but only got Rzepczynski warming up. Later, La Russa called for Motte again, but the bullpen heard Lynn who was apparently supposed to be unavailable for the game. Though La Russa blamed poor phone volume, the truth was that it was actually just a miscommunication.

"I thought we had worked out a new communication system." Explained bullpen coach Lilliquist. "So that no one could steal signs. Which in hindsight doesn't make any sense since everyone can see who's warming up in the bullpen, and there aren't really any signs to steal."

What was the communication system?

"Basically the way it works is that what you say you want, you don't actually want, and what you don't say you want, you need to infer somehow that its what you actually want. Its called the 'Talking to Your Girlfriend' communication system. Its really confusing, and I'm really bad at it. Its why I sent in Lynn, and why I'm sleeping at a friends house tonight." Said Lilliquist.

So there you have it. Poor communication can even harm your world series hopes.

Holland Dominates

2011-10-24T07:19:00.000-07:00

If any of you watched yesterday's World Series game you probably noticed the fine pitching performance by Rangers pitcher Derek Holland. He went 8.1 innings, striking out 7 while shutting out the Cardinals to even the series at 2-2. And he's left handed! It made me think of how patience with the young talent can go a long way. Back in 2009, Holland had a 8-13 record with a 6.12 ERA for the Rangers. A couple years later, he's locking down a pivotal game in the world series. Dellin Betances made 2 appearances for the Yankees this year pitching 2.2 innings, walking 6 and allowing 2 runs. Not a particularly inspiring debut, but its such a small sample that not much can be drawn from it. The point is, it's not looking like we're going to sign our way to a respectable rotation. We need to grow our own talent, and a guy like Holland shows what the payout could be. The Rangers entire world series rotation not to mention their closer are homegrown talents.

Now I Have to Watch

2011-10-23T16:50:00.000-07:00

I haven't really been paying attention to the World Series beyond checking the scores. Partly I'm still too hurt by the Yankees early exit. I'm also utterly unnerved by the Yankees inability, so far, to retain Brian Cashman or sign Prince Fielder. But after last night, I have to watch. Albert Pujols hit three home runs, with 40 RBI, and advanced stem cell research well beyond its current bounds between innings. He even cloned a dinosaur. No player since Babe Ruth has cloned a dinosaur during a World Series game, though one player was mauled by one. So now I have to watch. Pujols better repeat yesterday's performance. Or else . . .

Yankees Continue Service to Humanity

2011-10-21T06:32:00.000-07:00

As pointed out on the Lohud blog, the man who allegedly captured Gaddafi did so while rocking the interlocking N and Y. When the Yankees were instituted back in the beginning of the 20th century, their mission statement read "To win championships, and depose dictators." The Yankees continue this proud tradition by providing hats for revolutionaries in Libya.

Christmas Wish-List

2011-10-18T22:51:00.000-07:00

Since our October is over, we might as well turn our thoughts to what we want this coming Christmas. I realize not all of us may celebrate Christmas, but we can all agree that receiving free stuff for no reason other than happening to be around on a particular day is a pretty good deal. Just ask any major investment firm still in business. So here's what I want this Christmas:

1. For CC Sabathia to not exercise his opt-out clause.

Hopefully Sabathia remembers all the good times we had. All the times we cheered for him when he was on the mound. The 2009 World Series. All the times the NYPD thoughtfully stopped and frisked his relatives on their way to the Stadium. You know, all the good stuff. Then, hopefully, Sabathia chooses not to opt-out, staying with the Yankees and not costing them anymore money (since clearly they don't have it).

2. For Rafael Soriano to exercise his opt-out clause.

Hopefully Soriano remembers how he used to be a closer. Successful. Now he's a seventh inning guy. Plus he keeps getting stopped and frisked on the way to the Stadium. It's not worth the hassle. Opt out.

3. Another Granderson-style trade, only this time for a pitcher.

Remember when we traded for Granderson and everyone was like, "AJax is the future of baseball," and then AJax just went on to strike out a lot while Granderson became an MVP candidate? We need another trade like that, only this time for a pitcher. A lefty pitcher, with heat, and breaking stuff, and off-speed stuff, who pitches inside against Boston, and who hits for both power and average. That's what I want.

4. For Joba Chamberlain to develop 'Rookie of the Year' super-pitching post surgery.

Remember that movie? Where the kid falls and then can throw a fastball past Major League hitters, or something like that? We need Chamberlain to come back like that. No more of this "He's ahead of schedule" stuff. Every rehabbing athlete ever has been described as ahead of schedule only to come back to the field way after the schedule said he would, if at all. I don't want "ahead of schedule". That is practically proxy for "his career is over". I want "Rookie of the Year".

5. For Girardi to lose it.

When Girardi was hired as manager we were promised a fiery guy who would constantly be thrown out of ballgames. Instead we got an ubernerd who makes decisions based on graphs he generated using logistical regression analyses and keeps in a Trapper Keeper. I want Girardi to wake up one morning only to realize his binder is gone and someone has carelessly poured coffee all over his Macbook Air. Unable to recover his graphs or his binder, Girardi loses all touch with reality. He starts arguing balls and strikes. He starts arguing whether balls hit straight at middle-infielders were foul. He files an official challenge to every game, win or lose. That's the manager I was promised, that is the manager I expect.

That's my list. What's yours?

Its Rangers and Cardinals

2011-10-17T06:28:00.001-07:00

It was a litte strange following the Rangers/Tigers ALCS especially the Rangers victory in game 6. I couldn't help but think that that should have been the Yankees losing to the Rangers in game 6. But alas, we'll have to let that go. I still hold that we had an ALDS champion caliber team, but with cold bats, and an untimely performance digression by Sabathia here we are watching the Tigers, and not the Yankees, lose to the Rangers. But now as the Rangers and Cardinals get ready to face off in the world series we'll just have to immerse ourselves into football until the hot stove season begins.

Phil Hughes

2011-10-16T10:52:00.001-07:00

We've been asked where we see Phil Hughes in the Yankees future rotation plans. Hughes has had an interesting career so far with the Yankees. Touted as the next Cy Young, he turned out to be mostly young, inexperienced, and injured. He's lost significant velocity on his fastball and has only really had one successful half-season (last year). Hughes has seemingly regressed, but it may be too early to count him out. He had a large increase in workload in 2010 and that may have contributed to his performance this past season. If he can get his arm strength back, he should be a legitimate rotation presence. If not, he should still be a strong bullpen candidate as his performance in the ALDS showed. Perhaps the biggest thing for Hughes is developing more of his secondary pitches, assuming he can redevelop his primary pitches. He should probably start there first as we do not need another Edwar Ramirez. Also, he should fire his personal pitching coach, Edwar Ramirez.

Free Agent Starters

2011-10-14T07:23:00.001-07:00

It is no secret that the Yankees need to address their rotation problems this off season. Though many of us fans would like to see our prospects get a chance to win a spot, the fact of the matter is, this is New York, and the big name always wins out. Although, this years free agent market is light in the pitching department there have been some names that keep coming up: C.J. Wilson, Hiroki Kuroda, Mark Buehrle, Edwin Jackson and Yu Darvish. The only one I would really consider out of this group is C.J. Wilson. Wilson's a left hander with post season experience, and has had quite a bit of success since they turned him into a starter 2 seasons ago. At 31, we may end up overpaying for his declining years, but we should get a few productive years and hopefully the Killer B's will be locking down the front end of our rotation in his twilight. The question will be how much would we want to commit to someone like Wilson. Considering the contract we gave to Soriano, I can see us easily overpaying. Kuroda, Buerhle, and Jackson are interesting options, but none of them really stand out. Yu Darvish is another highly touted Japanese player who probably won't live up to the hype, and I blame Ichiro. Ichiro gave us the expectation that every Japanese player had superhero powers. Matsui furthered this notion. Since then all the big names coming from Japan have been decent at best. Mostly they've not been good at all. Igawa, Matsuzaka, Fukudome, Iwamura, Tazawa haven't really been the game changers they were hoped to be.

At Least We're Not Boston

2011-10-12T18:43:00.000-07:00

Remember when there were all these questions about whether there was tension between Theo Epstein and Terry Francona and Epstein always denied it? Turns out he was telling the truth. They were both looking to jump off this particular sinking ship as soon as possible. It's not just that the ship was sinking, it was kind of also on fire. Nuclear fire. They didn't even know that was possible. Epstein is now on his way to Chicago while Boston clubbies are telling Globe reporters that Francona was addicted to pain killers. He was, after all, taking pain killers, so he must have been addicted to them. The theory goes like this: Terry Francona's nickname was Tito. Tito is the name of Michael Jackson's brother. Michael Jackson was addicted to pain killers. Terry Francona is addicted to pain killers. It's only logic.

The Yankees now look to a postseason of throwing more money at CC Sabathia and addressing further rotation personnel issues. The Sox now look for a new GM, a new manager, and a way to get players to sit in the dugout during games. It's not like they're paid millions of dollars to sit and watch a game that we pay hundreds of dollars we don't have, but Visa and MasterCard do, to watch. Damn.

The Off Season is Upon Us

2011-10-12T07:10:00.000-07:00

Yes, I'm well aware that the playoffs are still in process, but for all effective purposes the off season has arrived. How Yankee fans deal with an off season after the Yankees have failed to win a championship goes a little something like this:

1. Start finger pointing and yelling. Find one scapegoat to amass all your hatred against (A-Rod was a past favorite, AJ is a new favorite).

2. Begin making wild trade proposals (IE. AJ Burnett and Pedro Feliciano for Cliff Lee, cash considerations, and a player to be named later).

3. Demand in some sort of online forum that Cashman sign (insert name of biggest free agent here) and that he should be fired if he fails to do so.

4. Repeat steps 1 - 3.

Before we at the RJG begin this process however, we want to celebrate the release of certain contractual obligations that had been a hindrance to the Yankees. First up, Kei Igawa. This years $4 million payment marked the last we would make to our favorite triple A pitcher, and marks the end of a $56 million investment that never paid out. Second, Damaso Marte. He did well for us in helping us win a world series, but his overall value has been diminished as he's seemingly taken up permanent residence on the designated list. That's another $4 million freed up from the payroll. Third, A-Rod made $32 million this season, next season that price will drop to $30 million for a saving of $2 million dollars. Now some may think that a .276 average with 16 homeruns and 62 RBI's is not worth $32 million or even $30 million, but that doesn't take into A-Rod's intangible qualities. Like who else would we hate if A-Rod wasn't on the team? Who else could we boo? $32 million assured us of at least one player we could boo and feel guiltless about. Booing the $900,000 Bartolo Colon? That's just wrong. Booing the $32 million A-Rod? Priceless. Lastly, we will be losing Posada's $13.1 million contract. That is the biggest contract coming off the books, but it comes with much sadness. Posada did not produce this year, and we were forced to come to terms with his humanity. Posada will likely not be back next year, but it doesn't diminish what he's done for this organization, and the many great memories we've had with him in the Bronx. He was a vital part of the dynasty, and helped continue the tradition of Yankee catchers who were also strong clubhouse leaders.

All in all, I am ready for the off season. The Yankees have holes throughout their rotation they need to fill, and CC's impending opt out could be an interesting story over the next couple months.

What Now?

2011-10-07T15:25:00.001-07:00

With the Yankees season over, many are wondering what the Yankees will do now. Most of them will go to a house much much larger than yours, so stop worrying about it. Soon we'll find out whether Sabathia will opt out, or whether the Yanks will throw money around like they're making it rain. First, unfortunately, we have to wait for the remaining teams to finish their seasons. How selfish of them is that? Ever heard of a New York minute? We don't have time for this $#!% right now! What else do the Yankees need to worry about this off-season?

Update:

[The following comment, from blog regular Rich Mahogany, was too good to leave in the comments section, so I've moved it here]

A lot depends on whether Cashman comes back. If he does, I fully expect more miraculous scrap heap signings, perhaps even finding a pitcher who was previously living under a heap of scraps.

If he doesn't, his replacement will be a yes-man for Levine and the Steinbrenners. That person will re-sign CC for 10 years and $220 million, and will also give CJ Wilson $160 million and Yu Darvish $150 million. Add in the contracts to Pujols, Prince Fielder and David Ortiz (for depth) and we will see baseball's first $1 billion payroll. Yankee Stadium will change its name to Goldman Sachs & Co. and FTI Consulting Present the New York Yankees Old Fashioned Ballpark and the average seat price will be the same as Phil Hughes' salary.

So I hope he comes back.

Yankees Offense Stays Home, Now the Rest of the Team Can Join Them

2011-10-06T21:44:00.000-07:00

The Good

Endless speculation about whether the Yanks sign either Albert Pujols or Prince Fielder to be their full-time DH can now begin.

The Bad

Ivan Nova left the game after two innings with forearm tightness. I can't confirm this, but it sort of feels like he may have given up on the team after finding himself in a really tough spot. I'm not prepared to go there entirely just yet, but it feels that way.

The Ugly

An inability to score runs with the bases loaded is pretty ugly. The Yankees had plenty of opportunities tonight but simply didn't get it done. We can only blame ourselves.

I Can't Believe We're Paying For This

Cano hit another home run. Great.

Robinson Cano 2hr = $10
Curtis Granderson 1hr = $3
Nick Swisher 1hr = $3
Total = $16

Burnett Saves Season, Granderson Reveals His Super Hero Nature

2011-10-05T08:13:00.000-07:00

The Good

The season fell to the efforts of AJ Burnett who has been dismal this season, but who was remarkably effective last night. 5.2 innings of 1 run ball was the final line, and despite some scary moments, the Tigers were not able to capitalize on their base runners. Then there was Granderson, who may have revealed that he is the mysterious New York crime fighting vigilante known as Gurtis Cranderson. Apparently, like most super hero crime fighters, Granderson can fly, which came in handy with a late game grab of a quickly sinking would-be double. Oh, and the Yankees scored 10 runs while AJ and the bullpen, including RJG blog favorite Rafael Soriano, kept the Tigers to 1 run.

The Bad

Montero finally came in to play and he had a couple hits. This immediately made me think, what would have came of the much needed game 3 if Montero was allowed to play? No matter, we're on to game 5.

The Ugly

The Yankees are now set to face off in an epic game 5. Burnett's outing was a huge boost, and having homefield advantage is a plus, but it still comes down to this final game. On thursday, we may really be watching Nova transform into the Super Nova we've always dreamed of.

10 Runs and No Homers!?

Another benefit of a game 5 is that maybe the Yankees will make up for their lack of homeruns in a power boosted display of rage! 10 runs, and not a single jack. The babies need you.

Robinson Cano 1hr = $5
Curtis Granderson 1hr = $3
Nick Swisher 1hr = $3
Total = $11

Oh No

2011-10-04T08:01:00.000-07:00

The Good

The Yankees scored 4 runs including 2 off a Brett Gardner double that almost, sort of, kind of gave us some momentum. Unfortunately, the momentum was stopped short.

The Bad

The momentum was stopped short by Soriano, who follows the same script every time he gives up a run. It goes something to the effect of "It was a good pitch. I got beat on a good pitch." And the thing is, I think he's telling the truth. It turns out, Soriano can't pitch like Mariano. Its a simple mistake to make though seeing as the names kind of rhyme, and the Yankee front office likes to have fun with words.

The Ugly

We lost the game. We're now facing elimination as we turn our hopes over to AJ Burnett. Burnett may surprise us. He surprised us last year when he seemingly forgot how to pitch, so surprising people is in his blood.

Homeruns Would Have Been Nice

No homeruns yesterday, which certainly didn't help our efforts and definitely didn't help the children.

Robinson Cano 1hr = $5

Curtis Granderson 1hr = $3
Nick Swisher 1hr = $3
Total = $11

Yankees Drop Game 2

2011-10-03T05:41:00.000-07:00

The Good

Mere mortals faced off in a game of giants! There were homeruns by Swisher and Granderson, effective relief pitching by Cory Wade and Boone Logan, and when all was said and done, the rain did not bring the game to an early conclusion.

The Bad

Freddy Garcia gave what we could have hoped to get. 5.1 innings 4 runs, 3 earned. The question is, will this cut it in the ALCS or World Series? I can't imagine it will.

The Ugly

Boone Logan balked! We asked him what happened and this is what he said: "In the middle of my delivery I heard someone behind me yell 'The LORD has returned!' and I was like 'Oh no, the apocaypse!? Here now!? In the middle of my delivery!?!? I must stop and investigate this matter further. Turns out, the LORD didn't come back, it was just Miguel Cabrera messing with me. But its a good thing. I would have been screwed."

The Money and the Babies

When the Yankees turn in a good season and make it to the post season, charity should not cease to be benefited. To this end, the Respect Jeters Gangster blog has decided to continue its charitable donations to the Children's Health Fund homerun club throughout the postseason. Now during the regular season, we gave $2 for every homerun hit. But since everyone knows homeruns in the postseason are more valuable the only right thing to do is to up our amount to $3 for every postseason homerun. Further more, to honor the newly anointed homerun club captain, Robinson Cano, the RJG will be giving $5 for every homerun Cano hits in the postseason. So that looks a little something like this:

Robinson Cano 1hr = $5
Curtis Granderson 1hr = $3
Nick Swisher 1hr = $3
Total = $11

Yankees Take ALDS Opener After 24 Hour Rain Delay

2011-10-01T23:13:00.000-07:00

The Good

Ivan Nova pitched incredibly in relief of CC Sabathia, giving the Yankees 6.1 innings and allowing only two runs (granted, he didn't really allow them, Ayala did). Cano had 6 RBI, tying a franchise record for RBIs in a single postseason game. Four of those RBI came on a grand slam in the sixth.

The Bad

Nova came apart in the ninth after being hit in the @$$ with what would've otherwise been a ground ball for the second out of the inning. We asked Nova whether the ball that hit him played a role in his struggles during the ninth. "No," Nova responded. "But when Girardi came out, it was weird. He didn't ask me whether I was hurt. He asked me if I knew Kung Fu. I told him 'no' and he went back to the dugout. But then Geno was like, "What if you know Kung Fu and you don't even know it? I mean, what if you're a secret agent and, like, your memory got erased but you really know Kung Fu and one day you'll be attacked and it'll all come out from instinct and muscle memory? What about that? Did I just blow your mind?" And you know what? He did blow my mind. After that I couldn't pitch.

The Ugly

Luis Ayala. Why? Because Rob B said so. Also because he came in and couldn't lock down two outs, forcing Girardi to use Mo, who needed all of three pitches to close out the game. In fact, I'm not even sure Mo's eyes were open while he pitched. Neither were Ayala's, but Mo can do that, Ayala can't.

B-52s

Cano hit a monster shot into space. Not outer space, but third dimensionality, where the game took place.

Robinson Cano 1 hr

The Rain Screwed Us. Or Did It?

2011-10-01T08:10:00.000-07:00

The rain washed out Sabathia's first playoff appearance, already off to a promising start (#sarcasm). It also washed out any chance that we'll see Verlander more than once this series, which is good. That's all I have to say about that.

And it Begins...

2011-09-30T05:54:00.000-07:00

Tonight will be the first game of the American League Division Series where one Constantino Chamberlain Sabathia will take on Justin Verlander. The major league season ended yesterday, but the Yankees season ended a week ago when they clinched the division. After this, Yankees fans had to witness something they were largely unfamiliar with: meaningless September baseball. The Yankees fielded more minor leaguers in the last week than the Pirates did all year. But now, the Yankees have to turn everything up a notch and come prepared to face the Tigers. Ladies and Gentlemen, the quest for number 28 is afoot.

Well That Escalated Quickly

2011-09-29T05:52:00.000-07:00

The Good

Mark Teixeira's bat got hot right in time for the post season. He hit 2 homeruns, including a grandslam. Jones also hit a homerun, while Betances made his first major league start, going 2 innings and not allowing a run. In the meanwhile, over in Baltimore, the Orioles were playing what must have seemed like the world series to them. When all was said and done, the Red Sox couldn't stave off the Orioles in the 9th, and Papelbon took the loss on a walk-off single by Robert Andino. This now proves that Andino is actually a prophet, having foreseen his future success when he took his profile picture at the beginning of the season:

Picture Source

The Bad

We lost. Not in any real sense, but still.

The Ugly

Dropping a 7 run lead has to go here, but at the point the Rays were rallying, our regulars were on the bench, our bench players were on the field, and our best releivers were at their respective homes, or at least should have been considering that none of them were going to pitch today. You have to tip your hat to the Rays. They came back from a 7 run deficit to win the game in extra innings. It was kind of epic the way the Rays were playing into extra innings while the Red Sox had a rain delay also extending the outcome of the game later into the evening. When all is said and done, the Rays completed their epic surge while the Red Sox completed their epic collapse. I'm sure the Mets could offer some words of consolation in this time.

What a Great Way to End the Season for the Babies

Three homeruns between Teixeira and Andruw Jones. What a great way to end the season for the Children's Health Fund. That's $6 for the babies.

Mark Teixeira 39hr = $78
Curtis Granderson 41hr = $82
Russell Martin 18hr = $36
Alex Rodriguez 16hr = $32
Jorge Posada 14hr = $28
Robinson Cano 28hr = $56
Andruw Jones 13hr = $26
Brett Gardner 7hr = $14
Nick Swisher 23hr = $46
Derek Jeter 6hr = $12
Francisco Cervelli 4hr = $8
Eduardo Nunez 5hr = $10
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 2hr = $4
Jesus Montero 4hr = $8
Chris Dickerson 1hr = $2
Total = $444

Further Praise of David Robertson

2011-09-28T13:01:00.000-07:00

I mentioned earlier that his ERA is at 1.08, but I just noticed that he has exactly 100 strikeouts on the season in 66.2 innings pitched. What a contributor he's turned out to be.

Reeling Yanks Can't Stop Surging Rays (Wink Wink)

2011-09-28T06:31:00.000-07:00

The Good

Russel Martin hit a homerun a day after getting thrown out of the game for arguing balls and strikes. It was a solo shot, but in a game where the Yankees didn't do much else it really stands out. Did anyone notice that Dave Robertson's ERA is at 1.08?

The Bad

Rafael Soriano giving up 3 a run homerun comes to mind. After the game, Girardi defended Soriano saying that he's played well for us, and wrote this off as a fluke. What Soriano has he been watching this season?

The Ugly

Russel Martin hit into a triple play, which takes a lot of skill when you really think about it.

Cano and Granderson, where are you at?

Russel Martin hit a homerun to make sure the kids wouldn't leave empty handed, but Cano, who's charity the homerun money goes to, and Granderson, who's our only 40 homerun hitter, have been real quiet of late. There is one more game left, and I demand homeruns!

Mark Teixeira 37hr = $74
Curtis Granderson 41hr = $82
Russell Martin 18hr = $36
Alex Rodriguez 16hr = $32
Jorge Posada 14hr = $28
Robinson Cano 28hr = $56
Andruw Jones 12hr = $24
Brett Gardner 7hr = $14
Nick Swisher 23hr = $46
Derek Jeter 6hr = $12
Francisco Cervelli 4hr = $8
Eduardo Nunez 5hr = $10
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 2hr = $4
Jesus Montero 4hr = $8
Chris Dickerson 1hr = $2
Total = $438

Yanks Fail to Defeat Rival Rays (Wink Wink)

2011-09-26T20:18:00.000-07:00

The Good

Cano continues to hit better than most mere mortals. Did you ever notice that Robinson Cano is an anagram for Superman? No? Well, that's because it's not. But he still has more power than you!

The Bad

Russell Martin got thrown out of the game in the fifth for arguing balls and strikes. He wasn't questioning the strike zone, as much as talking to every pitch, debating the balls on matters of political concern. The Ump couldn't take the inane points Martin kept raising and finally threw him out in the fifth inning. Girardi tried to argue, but once he realized Martin had spent the better part of the game trying to convince various baseballs that the key to creating jobs is eating a low carb diet, he gave up.

The Ugly

The Yankees lost a game in which Farnsworth pitched for the other side. WTF?

Cash Money All-Stars

Remember them? Well, you shouldn't. $2 more for the kids courtesy of Robinson Cano. Will he reach 30 again this season? He better if he cares about his own charity!

Mark Teixeira 37hr = $74
Curtis Granderson 41hr = $82
Russell Martin 17hr = $34
Alex Rodriguez 16hr = $32
Jorge Posada 14hr = $28
Robinson Cano 28hr = $56
Andruw Jones 12hr = $24
Brett Gardner 7hr = $14
Nick Swisher 23hr = $46
Derek Jeter 6hr = $12
Francisco Cervelli 4hr = $8
Eduardo Nunez 5hr = $10
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 2hr = $4
Jesus Montero 4hr = $8
Chris Dickerson 1hr = $2
Total = $436

Sorry For the Delay: Red Sox Series Update

2011-09-26T17:32:00.000-07:00

The Good

A lot can be said about the Yankees in this space, but I think the best thing that happened this weekend was that, while we took the series and played well, we didn't dash the Red Sox's playoff chances. I know we would all love to see a monumental collapse, but that's petty small picture stuff. I'd rather have a team like the Red Sox in the playoffs who are limping in than a team like the Rays in the Playoffs who are charging in. Playoff baseball is about who's hot and right now the Red Sox are not. Rather them as potential October competition than a young team that is hungry and playing with fire in their bellies.

The Bad

Losing that game in extras wasn't good, but I can't complain too much. I wish Cano hadn't booted that ball and I wish Nova had pitched ever so slightly better. But truth be told, if Cano cleanly fields that double-play ball the Yankees probably win that game.

The Ugly

After Sunday's nightcap, Scott Proctor was asked how he felt about giving up the winning runs. This was his response:

"Sometimes I cry myself to sleep. Not because I'm sad, but because I have nothing better to do. So I cry myself to sleep. That's what I do."

Needless to say the interview was over.

Show Me the Money

Sorry for the Jerry Maguire reference but I couldn't think of anything else. Jeter, Montero, and Posada each had a single home run in the weekend series. $6 more dollars for the kiddos.

Mark Teixeira 37hr = $74
Curtis Granderson 41hr = $82
Russell Martin 17hr = $34
Alex Rodriguez 16hr = $32
Jorge Posada 13hr = $25
Robinson Cano 27hr = $54
Andruw Jones 12hr = $24
Brett Gardner 6hr = $12
Nick Swisher 23hr = $46
Derek Jeter 6hr = $12
Francisco Cervelli 3hr = $6
Eduardo Nunez 5hr = $10
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 2hr = $4
Jesus Montero 4hr = $8
Chris Dickerson 1hr = $2
Total = $430

Colon Explains His Performance

2011-09-23T14:19:00.001-07:00

Colon has not been good of late, and he hasn't won a game since August. After the game, RJG caught up with Colon for an explanation:

RJG: Hey Bartolo! You sure suck lately. What gives?

Colon: Pitching isn't something easy to do. You have to block out the distractions when you're on the mound, but sometimes it's just too hard. Like today, before I leave for the park, my wife brushed an eyelash off my face and then blew it away. I was all 'what was that about?' And she's like, 'I made a wish'. So I'm like, 'that's so f#$&@!*g stupid! You think an eyelash is going to grant your wish?! You didn't even say your wish out loud! Is the eyelash a mind reading eye lash? Can it read your thoughts? Is it a magic eyelash, because I'm pretty sure it's just dead hair?! How does it go about granting your wish? Does it have like a Costco card or something? Does it go to Costco to grant the wish from when it read your mind?' I was thinking of that all day and I just couldn't focus on the mound.

RJG: Wow. How'd that go over with your wife?

Colon: Not well. Can I stay with you guys tonight?

RJG: No.

The Oddest Year

2011-09-23T09:57:00.000-07:00

The Yankees locked down the division a couple games ago, and now have a week of what amounts to imaginary baseball. Though it will appear they are playing baseball, we'll be seeing a lot of names on the roster that we've never heard of, and numbers on jerseys that are closer to a hundred. But thinking back to the beginning of the seasons, the Red Sox were a lock for the division, the Yankees were the underdogs, the Rays were looking at what to do with their 50 first round draft picks, and the Blue Jays were just happy to be rid of Vernon Wells. The Yankees missed out on Cliff Lee so they turned to the next best thing: signing every veteran who ever threw a ball in the major leagues. This approach landed us Bartolo Colon, and Freddy Garcia who haven't been great of late but essentially are why we've won the division. It also got us Andruw Jones, Eric Chavez, and Russell Martin who have been contributors, and have really helped stabalize this team. The Red Sox if you remember had just traded for Adrian Gonzalez and signed Carl Crawford. If any team was poised to take the division it was them. But baseball is funny that way, and the Yankees really caught lightning in a bottle this year. They essentially took the money ball approach and signed low cost, high-ceiling players and let it play out. I for one did not think Freddy and Bartolo would both make it this far, but here we are in September, and neither are on the DL. Another great development has been Ivan Nova who was sent down mid-season to make room for Hughes, but is back, and has made a strong case to pitch behind Sabathia in the post season. When all is said and done, this has been a remarkable year. I don't know how we'll fare in the post season as our rotation seems in tathers, but with how odd this year has been I wouldn't be surprised if Colon found his 104 mph heat from his Cleveland days, and Freddy Garcia's splitter lands him 9 strikeouts a game here on out. For now, I'm just happy to have the division locked, and we'll see how the rest of the season goes.

So This is What Hung Over Baseball Looks Like

2011-09-23T05:56:00.000-07:00

The Good

It was kind of cool seeing the future of the Yankees yesterday. Well, more likely the future of the Pittsburgh Pirates where half of those guys will likely end up, but still, we're seeing the future of some franchise on the field today. One cool thing was seeing Andrew Brackman pitch. He survived 1.1 innings in releif, which is good I suppose. Jesus Montero went 3-3 with a double and Andrew Jones hit a homerun. What fun!

The Bad

The Yankees were clearly disinterested in playing baseball. Girardi didn't even try. The starting lineup had Nunez, Laird and Golson, with Jones covering in the outfield and Posada playing first base. Then after the game got out of hand, Jeter, Teixeira, and Swisher, the only regulars, got pulled for Dickerson, Pena and Romine. Its smart to rest the regulars once the division is a lock, but it must have been a real challenge for Girardi to find the most sober regulars to plug into his lineup. I'm surprised Swisher made it in.

The Ugly

Bartolo Colon was awful. 7 runs in 3 innings just isn't post season material. I know he wants to figure it out, but the season is over next week. We can't hope that some mechanical adjustments will fix him for the ALDS. BTW, that Moore kid is magical.

A Little Something

Andruw Jones made sure the kids at the Children's Health Fund would be supported despite the blowout loss. His homerun adds two more dollars to the CHF.

Mark Teixeira 37hr = $74
Curtis Granderson 41hr = $82
Russell Martin 17hr = $34
Alex Rodriguez 16hr = $32
Jorge Posada 12hr = $24
Robinson Cano 27hr = $54
Andruw Jones 12hr = $24
Brett Gardner 6hr = $12
Nick Swisher 23hr = $46
Derek Jeter 5hr = $10
Francisco Cervelli 3hr = $6
Eduardo Nunez 5hr = $10
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 2hr = $4
Jesus Montero 3hr = $6
Chris Dickerson 1hr = $2
Total = $424

Yanks Do A Lot of Clinching, But Not Lame Clinching Like in Boxing

2011-09-21T22:40:00.000-07:00

The Good

The Yankees swept the double-header, winning both games by a score of 2-4. The first game guaranteed the Yankees a playoff spot, the second guaranteed them the division. Sabathia spared the bullpen in the second game, going 7.1 innings and allowing only two runs. Good thing, because at that point Girardi had Posada warming up to pitch. Feeling bad that he had to sit Posada back down, Girardi let him pinch hit in the eighth and Posada delivered the division winning single.

The Bad

Hughes missed another start due to back pain and was administered an epidural. Apparently the back pain began shortly after Hughes's water broke.

The Ugly

Joe Maddon used four relief pitchers in the eighth inning in order to give up two runs. That's not very efficient. He didn't really do it to give up the two runs however, he did it to test whether his pitching coach knew all the names of the relievers in the bullpen, which he did by monitoring the bullpen phone. Some might question whether such a test was appropriate when his team is vying for the Wild Card, but Maddon's genius is not to be questioned, like Theo's.

The Middle Infielders

Nunez had a solo shot in the first game and Cano had a solo shot in the second. $4 more for the kids.

Mark Teixeira 37hr = $74
Curtis Granderson 41hr = $82
Russell Martin 17hr = $34
Alex Rodriguez 16hr = $32
Jorge Posada 12hr = $24
Robinson Cano 27hr = $54
Andruw Jones 11hr = $22
Brett Gardner 6hr = $12
Nick Swisher 23hr = $46
Derek Jeter 5hr = $10
Francisco Cervelli 3hr = $6
Eduardo Nunez 5hr = $10
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 2hr = $4
Jesus Montero 3hr = $6
Chris Dickerson 1hr = $2
Total = $422

My Guess for Tomorrow:

2011-09-21T21:05:00.000-07:00

Cue the "Posada A Great Yankee" stories.

Yanks Beat Rays

2011-09-20T21:33:00.000-07:00

The Good

Ivan Nova gave us 7.2 scoreless innings pitching in relief of the rest of the starting rotation. The Yankees scored 5 runs off of Wade Davis.

The Bad

The Yankees scored those 5 runs the old fashioned way, like timely hitting and bunts and $#!%. Nobody wants to see that. Nobody pays $250 per ticket to sit next to a wall that obscures your view to watch small ball. Next time hit some home runs!

The Ugly

After the game, Joe Maddon berated his team for not playing with any heart. One of his players pointed out that this didn't make any sense, as baseball is mainly played with the arms and legs and that, if anything, he should be berating them for not playing with any arms and legs. Hands also play a role. Joe Maddon had no response.

The Rip-off

Not only did the Yankees deprive the overpaying public of any home runs, they deprived the children of any further donations. Why don't they just make that switch to the National League already?!

Mark Teixeira 37hr = $74
Curtis Granderson 41hr = $82
Russell Martin 17hr = $34
Alex Rodriguez 16hr = $32
Jorge Posada 12hr = $24
Robinson Cano 26hr = $52
Andruw Jones 11hr = $22
Brett Gardner 6hr = $12
Nick Swisher 23hr = $46
Derek Jeter 5hr = $10
Francisco Cervelli 3hr = $6
Eduardo Nunez 4hr = $8
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 2hr = $4
Jesus Montero 3hr = $6
Chris Dickerson 1hr = $2
Total = $422

Mo Breaks Record, Yanks Break Twins, Twins Break Burnett

2011-09-19T13:53:00.000-07:00

The Good

I think the best part of this game was when the Yankee players sent Rivera back to the mound to receive his ovation. Rivera didn't really seem to know what to do, and it's refreshing to see that sort of discomfort with the spotlight from so dominant a professional athlete. Rivera is like the anti-Floyd Mayweather in that his least favorite topic of conversation seems to be himself.

The Bad

I realize it's a day game, but that park should've been fuller when Mo closed it out.

The Ugly

Let's give this one to Burnett, shall we? Though, perhaps Girardi still letting this guy pitch in the rotation is equally ugly. I realize Girardi may want to keep his starters fresh as we approach October, especially the AARP members, but still. Burnett is practically begging to be placed on the bench and he can't possibly be in contention for a postseason roster spot. At least we know Hughes can pitch out of the bullpen, Burnett gives us no such hope. Remember that train wreck I was telling you all about? Girardi seems to be the only one who doesn't see it.

We Should Just Call This 'The Granderson'

Curtis Granderson hit his 41st homer of the year, and is one shy of the Major League leader Jose Bautista. $2 more for the kids.

Mark Teixeira 37hr = $74
Curtis Granderson 41hr = $82
Russell Martin 17hr = $34
Alex Rodriguez 16hr = $32
Jorge Posada 12hr = $24
Robinson Cano 26hr = $52
Andruw Jones 11hr = $22
Brett Gardner 6hr = $12
Nick Swisher 23hr = $46
Derek Jeter 5hr = $10
Francisco Cervelli 3hr = $6
Eduardo Nunez 4hr = $8
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 2hr = $4
Jesus Montero 3hr = $6
Chris Dickerson 1hr = $2
Total = $422

Toronto, eh?

2011-09-19T08:16:00.000-07:00

The Good

We took the second game with some good hitting from Granderson and A-Rod who each hit a homerun and drove in 5 of the Yankees 7 runs. Proctor finally pitched a scoreless inning, and of course Mariano Rivera tied Trevor Hoffman's 601 saves.

The Bad

We lost two games, the second with our Triple A lineup playing. Not for nothing, but you can't take Granderson and Teixeira out of the same game you play Pena and Dickerson.

The Ugly

We had Sabathia, Colon and Garcia pitching in this series and not a single one pitched a complete 6 innings. Two of them couldn't even qualify for a start because they couldn't lock down the 5th. In total, these three starters gave up 13 runs off 22 hits. I'll accept a down game, but we need these guys sharp for the post season.

A Weekend of Losses Still Benefits the Children

Granderson hit his 40th homerun of the season, while A-Rod showed why he's still a threat even with a messed up thumb with a homerun of his own. Eric Chavez also hit a homerun off of Blue Jays pitcher Ewan McGregor making 3 homeruns for the babies at the Children's Health Fund.

Mark Teixeira 37hr = $74
Curtis Granderson 40hr = $80
Russell Martin 17hr = $34
Alex Rodriguez 16hr = $32
Jorge Posada 12hr = $24
Robinson Cano 26hr = $52
Andruw Jones 11hr = $22
Brett Gardner 6hr = $12
Nick Swisher 23hr = $46
Derek Jeter 5hr = $10
Francisco Cervelli 3hr = $6
Eduardo Nunez 4hr = $8
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 2hr = $4
Jesus Montero 3hr = $6
Chris Dickerson 1hr = $2
Total = $420

Stupid Off-Day Post

2011-09-16T15:52:00.000-07:00

Not much has happened in the world of all things Yankees since they lost to Seattle. At least I assume not much has happened, I haven't really bothered to check. Mo is still stuck at a pedestrian 600 saves. Any Trevor Hoffman off the street can get 600 saves. Today Mo will begin anew his quest to be something more than average. CC is looking for his 20th win, which will mark just the 20th time CC has won a game in 2011. Not exactly anything to write home about. Or on this blog for that matter. Off day posts are the worst.

Yanks Refuse to Give Rivera Shot at 601

2011-09-15T09:54:00.000-07:00

The Good

Nova pitched well enough to win, giving us 7.1 innings of one run ball.

The Bad

The Yankees only hit well enough to lose. Swish had a solo homer in the 7th to tie the game at one apiece, but that was all the Yankees offense could muster against the vaunted Mariner's pitching staff.

The Ugly

Save the starting pitching performances, not much happened in this game. You know what would have made this game way better? Steroids. If everyone was on steroids, this game would've been awesome! Pitchers throwing 200mph. Hitters hitting ground balls out of the park (I know). Final scores nearing the triple digits. Formerly skinny weaklings lumbering around the diamond, now hulking men. It would be a whole team of Captain Americas. The New York Captain Americas. Instead we mustered a single run against one of the worst teams in all of sports, even pseudo-sports like Golf. Thanks a lot, Bud Selig!

The Donations

Swisher's home run was not only the lone contribution to our offense, but to the children as well. For shame!

Mark Teixeira 37hr = $74
Curtis Granderson 39hr = $78
Russell Martin 17hr = $34
Alex Rodriguez 15hr = $30
Jorge Posada 12hr = $24
Robinson Cano 26hr = $52
Andruw Jones 11hr = $22
Brett Gardner 6hr = $12
Nick Swisher 23hr = $46
Derek Jeter 5hr = $10
Francisco Cervelli 3hr = $6
Eduardo Nunez 4hr = $8
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 1hr = $2
Jesus Montero 3hr = $6
Chris Dickerson 1hr = $2
Total = $414

Mariano Saves 600

2011-09-14T06:02:00.000-07:00

The Good

For starters, all the credit in the world to AJ Burnett who pitched 6 innings with 2 runs with 11 strikeouts. That was more the AJ Burnett we hoped to have all season, but even against this weak Mariners team it was a welcome sight. Montero went 2-4 and continues to show that he can hit at this level. Soriano-Robertson-Rivera locked down the last three innings including a perfect inning out of Soriano and 5 strikeouts between Robertson and Rivera. Rivera locked his 600th save of his career.

The Bad

The coaching staff came to visit AJ in the 3rd thinking that he was injured, but in reality he was just uncomfortable. "My shirt was tucked in a wierd way. It just didn't feel right. When I conferred with Rothschild and Girardi, they were like 'Why don't you untuck it and then retuck it?' So I did, and when I untucked I realized that my shirt had folded over when I tucked it causing the discomfort. Once it was tucked correctly I could throw strikes, and strikes win ballgames, unless they're players strikes in which case there are no ballgames."

Truly words to live by.

The Ugly

While Mariano was locking his 600th save, the Red Sox were trying to upstage him with Wakefields 200th win. The attempt fell short however because 200 wins is like graduating from college. Everyone in your home will congratulate you, but no one else will care.

But in all seriousness, 200 wins with a knuckleball is an impressive feat. Not 600 saves impressive, but impressive in the way fireflies on a summer's night are impressive.

He Can Hit

I'm talking about Cano, who hit a homerun last night and made sure the kids would not go home empty handed. That's 2 more dollars for the Children's Health Fund.

Mark Teixeira 37hr = $74
Curtis Granderson 39hr = $78
Russell Martin 17hr = $34
Alex Rodriguez 15hr = $30
Jorge Posada 12hr = $24
Robinson Cano 26hr = $52
Andruw Jones 11hr = $22
Brett Gardner 6hr = $12
Nick Swisher 22hr = $44
Derek Jeter 5hr = $10
Francisco Cervelli 3hr = $6
Eduardo Nunez 4hr = $8
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 1hr = $2
Jesus Montero 3hr = $6
Chris Dickerson 1hr = $2
Total = $412

The King Dethroned

2011-09-13T05:49:00.000-07:00

The Good

Phil Hughes pitched 6 innings allowing just 1 run. If he can maintain his consistancy he could very well usurp Burnett for a spot on the post season roster. And speaking of usurping, King Felix got rocked to the tune of 6 runs in 6 innings. Teixeira and Dickerson homered, as Dickerson had one of his best games of the season going 2-4 with 2 RBI's and a stolen base. Also good, Austin Romine got his first big league hit.

The Bad

Though Austin Romine got his first big league hit, he has yet to get into his first big league fight. "I don't know when it will come." Explained Romine. "Will I charge the mound? Run in from the dugout? Will I have to throw a punch, or just shove people? I just don't know what my first big league fight will look like."

The Ugly

Scott Proctor pitched in relief of Hughes and gave up 2 runs. Proctor has made 3 appearances with the Yankees and has given up at least a run in each of them. However, since Proctor threw 102.1 innings in releif for us back in '06 he gets a free pass with me.

Would Someone Please Think of the Children?

Dickerson did. As did Teixeira. $4 more for the babies at the Children's Health Fund.

Mark Teixeira 37hr = $74
Curtis Granderson 39hr = $78
Russell Martin 17hr = $34
Alex Rodriguez 15hr = $30
Jorge Posada 12hr = $24
Robinson Cano 24hr = $48
Andruw Jones 11hr = $22
Brett Gardner 6hr = $12
Nick Swisher 22hr = $44
Derek Jeter 5hr = $10
Francisco Cervelli 3hr = $6
Eduardo Nunez 4hr = $8
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 1hr = $2
Jesus Montero 3hr = $6
Chris Dickerson 1hr = $2
Total = $408

Weekend in Anaheim

2011-09-12T06:03:00.000-07:00

The Good

We ended with a win, barely, but a win nonetheless. Granderson hit his 39th homerun, and Montero also added a jack over the weekend. Sabathia had a rough time, but ended with 6 innings and 1 run. Colon pitched one of his best games of the season with 7 innings of 1 run ball, and that one run was unearned.

The Bad

Despite the pitching performances of Sabathia and Colon, the Yankee offense could not remember how a bat worked. They pulled out the instructions that came in the bat box, but they were written in Chinese. After trying to decipher the text for the first couple days, they realized that the instructions were not written in Chinese, but were simply upside down. The instructions were simple: "Swing bat and connect with ball". The Yankees tried this approach last night and came out with a win.

The Ugly

It seemed like in a manner of moments, we saw every catcher in the Yankees organization. Cervelli had concussion like symptoms, and took to the DL, then Martin hurt his thumb, and was day-to-day, leaving Posada to catch on Saturday. Sunday it was Montero, followed by Romine, who had just taken a taxi from Scranton to Anaheim, stopping only to help damsel's in distress as is his character.

Yankee Bats Go Quiet, but the Children Still Are Provided For

Despite the generally lackluster hitting over the weekend, Montero and Granderson made sure the children would not suffer with solo homeruns. That's $4 for the Children's Health Fund.

Mark Teixeira 36hr = $72
Curtis Granderson 39hr = $78
Russell Martin 17hr = $34
Alex Rodriguez 15hr = $30
Jorge Posada 12hr = $24
Robinson Cano 24hr = $48
Andruw Jones 11hr = $22
Brett Gardner 6hr = $12
Nick Swisher 22hr = $44
Derek Jeter 5hr = $10
Francisco Cervelli 3hr = $6
Eduardo Nunez 4hr = $8
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 1hr = $2
Jesus Montero 3hr = $6
Total = $404

What's With the Back to Back Extra Innings Losses?

2011-09-09T05:52:00.001-07:00

The Good

The Yankees scored 4 runs in the first three innings. They then went on cruise control and fell asleep at the wheel. What they didn't realize is that cruise control doesn't actually drive your car. So the Yankees crashed in the 10th.

The Bad

I guess the bad was partially mixed in with the good, but I will add to that 5.1 innings of 3 run ball from Nova. I don't know whey we're having such a hard time with the Orioles but we are.

The Ugly

The bullpen turning this one over. Logan gave up an RBI double, Laffey walked the only guy he faced, and both Soriano and Proctor gave up a run, Proctor's being a walk off. So the bullpen wasn't great, but our offense falling silent over the last 7 innings of this game didn't help either.

Nope

No homeruns = No donations. Its that simple Yankees.

Mark Teixeira 36hr = $72
Curtis Granderson 38hr = $76
Russell Martin 17hr = $34
Alex Rodriguez 15hr = $30
Jorge Posada 12hr = $24
Robinson Cano 24hr = $48
Andruw Jones 11hr = $22
Brett Gardner 6hr = $12
Nick Swisher 22hr = $44
Derek Jeter 5hr = $10
Francisco Cervelli 3hr = $6
Eduardo Nunez 4hr = $8
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 1hr = $2
Jesus Montero 2hr = $4
Total = $400

Triple A Team No Match for Orioles

2011-09-08T05:45:00.000-07:00

The Good

I'm sure there was something, but with all this rain I'm feeling like a cup is half empty kind of guy right now. But if I'm really pressed I'd have to say that Montero hit a two-run double, as he continues to show that he's a legitimate big league hitter, and both Robertson and Soriano had scoreless innings in relief where Robertson struck out all three hitters he faced.

The Bad

We lost. In the 11th. At that point we had the majority of our big league lineup in the game, and we still couldn't manage a timely hit. AJ Burnett didn't help much with his 6 innings of 4 run ball. He wasn't terrible, but this is the Orioles we're talking about. If there's any game to lock down a win, its this one.

The Ugly

The game played more like a bloopers reel rather than a baseball game. The Yankees had 4 errors charged against them, while there were several other misplays that didn't get called errors, but still looked like they were the opposing team in a Harlem Globetrotters show.

The Babies Don't Help the Babies

The lineup boasted such minor league callups as Brandon Laird, Eduardo Nunez, Greg Golson, and Jesus Montero, but despite being closer in age to the babies at the Children's Health Fund, they did little to help their cause. No homeruns means no cash for the babies.

Mark Teixeira 36hr = $72
Curtis Granderson 38hr = $76
Russell Martin 17hr = $34
Alex Rodriguez 15hr = $30
Jorge Posada 12hr = $24
Robinson Cano 24hr = $48
Andruw Jones 11hr = $22
Brett Gardner 6hr = $12
Nick Swisher 22hr = $44
Derek Jeter 5hr = $10
Francisco Cervelli 3hr = $6
Eduardo Nunez 4hr = $8
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 1hr = $2
Jesus Montero 2hr = $4
Total = $400

That Took Forever

2011-09-07T06:16:00.000-07:00

The Good

Hughes went 6 innings allowing 2 runs giving the Yankee offense a chance to get into it, which they did with homeruns from Posada, Cervelli and Gardner. When it comes down to it, the Yankees have been swinging the bats very well of late. Mariano locked his 39th save of the season putting him within 3 saves of tieing Trevor Hoffman's career record.

The Bad

The game started at 11:00pm and ended around 2:15am. This was problematic because those are also the hours that Curtis Granderson fights crime. Distracted by all the calls for help, Granderson went 0-3 with 3 strikeouts.

The Ugly

Posada got in the game and went 1-3 with a homerun. The truth is, the Yankees have mishandled Posada all season. They dropped him to number 9 in the lineup on a nationally televised game against the Red Sox, then they removed him from the lineup altogether on another nationally televised game against the Red Sox. Then they got mad at Jeter for not jumping on Posada. Posada isn't done. And the Yankees showed a lot more patience with Jeter at the plate than they have with Posada, and that's with Jeter batting leadoff as opposed to number 6, 7, 8 or 9 like Posada has. It almost feels like there's something personal between Posada and the Yankee brass, and that right there is ugly.

Homeruns from the Peanut Gallery and their Chaperone.

Posada, Gardner and Cervelli all hit solo homeruns accounting for an additional $6 going to the Children's Health Fund. Granderson's bat has been pretty quiet, but he tends to go through streaks, and there's no better time like to present to start a streak.

Mark Teixeira 36hr = $72
Curtis Granderson 38hr = $76
Russell Martin 17hr = $34
Alex Rodriguez 15hr = $30
Jorge Posada 12hr = $24
Robinson Cano 24hr = $48
Andruw Jones 11hr = $22
Brett Gardner 6hr = $12
Nick Swisher 22hr = $44
Derek Jeter 5hr = $10
Francisco Cervelli 3hr = $6
Eduardo Nunez 4hr = $8
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 1hr = $2
Jesus Montero 2hr = $4
Total = $394

PS. The Yankees are at 200 homeruns on the season. Last year they him 201 all season. Let's see how close they get to the 244 they hit in 2009. Ah, what a good year for the Children's Health Fund.

Yankees Win...Barely

2011-09-06T05:48:00.000-07:00

The Good

The Yankees scored 11 runs! Much respect to Jesus Montero, the baby-faced baby DH in the lineup who hit 2 homeruns and drew a walk, and of course Robinson Cano, who hit a grandslam. Pitching was pretty awful, but I admit it was nice seeing Scott Proctor again. I thought his cyborg arm looked decent yesterday.

The Bad

Mariano came very close to blowing the save. Close enough to make me sweat, and I don't like sweating as it makes me want to shower thus using up the planets most essential natural resource: water. So if Mariano doesn't want to be responsible for the decreasing water supply he needs to lock these saves down! On a side note, Mo is just 4 saves of tieing and 5 saves of passing Trevor Hoffman on the all-times saves list.

The Ugly

Freddy Garcia's start. The final line included 7 runs in 2.2 innings. That's the problem with pitchers who rely on deception. Sometimes, they're hung over.

Bats for Babies

The Yankees went to bat for the babies and came up with 4 homeruns, 2 from Monters, and 1 each from Cano and Teixeira. That's $8 for the babies at the Children's Health Fund.

Mark Teixeira 36hr = $72
Curtis Granderson 38hr = $76
Russell Martin 17hr = $34
Alex Rodriguez 15hr = $30
Jorge Posada 12hr = $24
Robinson Cano 24hr = $48
Andruw Jones 11hr = $22
Brett Gardner 6hr = $12
Nick Swisher 22hr = $44
Derek Jeter 5hr = $10
Francisco Cervelli 3hr = $6
Eduardo Nunez 4hr = $8
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 1hr = $2
Jesus Montero 2hr = $4
Total = $394

Yanks Go for Sweep, Decide to Bludgeon Opponent with Broom Handle Instead

2011-09-04T20:29:00.000-07:00

The Good

19 wins for Sabathia. Bautista was held to only one home run while the Yankees managed three (one each for Jeter, A-Rod, and Swish). The Yankees also scored nine runs as a team. Because you win as a team.

The Bad

Somebody, somewhere in the stands went to get concessions and brought his girlfriend the wrong thing. He felt really bad about it.

The Ugly

When Bautista hit his Major League leading 40th home run, Granderson vowed revenge. Someone pointed out to him that he could just hit 2 more home runs, but he chose revenge anyway.

Hacks for Stacks (of Cash)

Three home runs today means $6 more for the kids. Yay!

Mark Teixeira 35hr = $70
Curtis Granderson 38hr = $76
Russell Martin 17hr = $34
Alex Rodriguez 15hr = $30
Jorge Posada 12hr = $24
Robinson Cano 23hr = $46
Andruw Jones 11hr = $22
Brett Gardner 6hr = $12
Nick Swisher 22hr = $44
Derek Jeter 5hr = $10
Francisco Cervelli 3hr = $6
Eduardo Nunez 4hr = $8
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 1hr = $2
Total = $386

P.S.

That's right, I said 'Yay'. What are you going to do about it?!

Yanks Take First Two From Jays

2011-09-03T13:15:00.000-07:00

The Good

Nova gave us another strong outing, earning his 15th win of the season. While Colon's outing was not as strong, he kept us in the game and the Yanks offense came through. The bullpen has not allowed any runs in the last two games, a major league record.

The Bad

Falsifying statistics is bad, and I'm pretty sure I just did that. I could apologize for doing so and move on, but instead I'm going to deny it before Congress, helping them waste taxpayer dollars on pointless hearings. Then I'm going to make the federal government try me on criminal charges in federal court, thus wasting more taxpayer dollars. Then I'm going to make them house and feed me for however long my sentence is, wasting additional taxpayer dollars. That's how I roll.

The Ugly

We've won three in a row, let's try to keep things positive.

Allowance

Gardner and Cervelli each had one home run. Gardner hit his yesterday, so it doesn't matter anymore. Cervelli, on the other hand, hit his today, so he's a hero. $4 more for the kids.

Mark Teixeira 35hr = $70
Curtis Granderson 38hr = $76
Russell Martin 17hr = $34
Alex Rodriguez 14hr = $28
Jorge Posada 12hr = $24
Robinson Cano 23hr = $46
Andruw Jones 11hr = $22
Brett Gardner 6hr = $12
Nick Swisher 21hr = $42
Derek Jeter 4hr = $8
Francisco Cervelli 3hr = $6
Eduardo Nunez 4hr = $8
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 1hr = $2
Total = $380

Yanks Take Series

2011-09-01T21:19:00.000-07:00

The Good

Burnett gave us 5.1 innings of two-run ball. Then every member of the bullpen came into the game to close it out. Nick Swisher continued his wacky bunting antics, which always pleases the crowd. Russell Martin's two-run double was the difference in the game.

The Bad

This game was way too close. Lester threw something like 100 pitches in the first inning, all to Nick Swisher, and the Yanks still only mustered 1 run against him. That's bad.

The Ugly

Al Leiter trying to find a silver lining in the work AJ has done with Larry Rothschild. Let's face it, AJ is a very consistent pitcher in the month of April, then he's a train wreck. But not a regular train wreck. A train wreck that happens right in front of a nuclear reactor but doesn't damage the reactor. Then, suddenly, oh no! A plane is headed right for us! The plane smashes into the train, but doesn't harm the reactor. We're all saved. Then another plane smashes into the reactor and we're all dead. The end.

Two in a Row?

Normally, the Yankees score all their runs on home runs. They've scored exactly zero runs on home runs in the last two games. I'm not sure what to make of this, so I made a paper mache hat. It's awesome!

Mark Teixeira 35hr = $70
Curtis Granderson 38hr = $76
Russell Martin 17hr = $34
Alex Rodriguez 14hr = $28
Jorge Posada 12hr = $24
Robinson Cano 23hr = $46
Andruw Jones 11hr = $22
Brett Gardner 5hr = $10
Nick Swisher 21hr = $42
Derek Jeter 4hr = $8
Francisco Cervelli 2hr = $4
Eduardo Nunez 4hr = $8
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 1hr = $2
Total = $376

At Least the Rotation Pictures Coming Into Focus

2011-09-01T06:00:00.000-07:00

The Good

We scored 5 runs off Becket (4 earned). Jeter got a couple hits driving in a run in the process. No Bothan spies died during the game.

The Bad

Despite the 5 runs, the Yankee offense never really got going. We had 6 hits all game, and no homeruns. Not even one from Granderson who has lost his tie for league lead with Bautista's 2-run shot yesterday.

The Ugly

A typical big league rotation has a staff ace, a solid 2, a scrappy 3, a rebounding or declining 4, and a really old or really young 5. The Yankees rotation has a staff ace, and then a cast of number 3's and 4's. This is good for the regular season, but horrifying for our post season hopes. We currently don't have a stopper, or even a big game pitcher with big game stuff past Sabathia. Garcia is a big game pitcher, but his game has been reduced to deception, guile, malicious winks, and confusing riddles. Hughes did little to help this rotation question with his 5.2 innings of 6 run ball. If the post season started today, you'd probably be seeing Sabathia, Colon, Garcia and Nova. And that's not fair because Sabathia doesn't speak spanish, and will feel left out of the post season rotation banter. The good news is that we still have a month of baseball, and if any one of our 6 starters get hot, it can help solve our post season rotation question. The bad news is that we still have a month of baseball, and any one of our 6 starters could really pitch like crap.

Yankees Say No to Babies

No homeruns means not a single dollar is donated to help babies get better. The Yankees better make up for that today. My prediction? Homeruns from Swisher, Teixeira, Granderson, and lets say Jeter. With Burnett on the mound we'll need every single one we can get.

Mark Teixeira 35hr = $70
Curtis Granderson 38hr = $76
Russell Martin 17hr = $34
Alex Rodriguez 14hr = $28
Jorge Posada 12hr = $24
Robinson Cano 23hr = $46
Andruw Jones 11hr = $22
Brett Gardner 5hr = $10
Nick Swisher 21hr = $42
Derek Jeter 4hr = $8
Francisco Cervelli 2hr = $4
Eduardo Nunez 4hr = $8
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 1hr = $2
Total = $376

Sabathia Works Magic

2011-08-31T06:24:00.000-07:00

The Good

Sabathia's final line was good, but confusing. He allowed 2 runs, over 6 innings, but he kept you on the edge of your seat all game, because he always seemed to be in trouble, a byproduct of allowing 10 hits and 2 walks in 6 innings. But along with that came 10 strikeouts, some of them coming in key situations so over all its good. Also good, our bullpen did not implode. Mariano locked down the save, and Soriano did not give up the lead. Wade got his out but put two on for Logan who got a pair of strikeouts with bases loaded to end the 7th inning.

Eric Chavez went 2-3 knocking in a couple runs, and Cervelli hit a homerun. Swisher went 3-3 with a walk continuing his surge.

The Bad

After scratching the surface of .300, Jeter is now down to a paltry .293 after an 0-5 night. Some blame the ball that went off his knee, but we know better. Jeter is feeling sad about his split from Friday Night Lights star Michael B. Jordan. "Back when I was dating Minka, I'd hang out with Michael. He played Wallace in The Wire, one of the best characters of the first season. Now that I'm not with Minka anymore, we don't hang out. Good guy. I'll have to settle with hanging out with the other Michael Jordan. I don't even like Hanes."

The Ugly

Things got heated in yesterdays game. It all started when Granderson was hit in the hand but it was ruled that it hit the bat by the homeplate umpire. Sabathia retaliated with a plunking of Jacoby Ellsbury. Then after Cervelli hit his homerun, Lackey plunked him in the back. Benches cleared, Cervelli had some words, Rothschild got ejected, and the game continued. Later Saltalamacchia, swung into a pitch that hit him in the arm, and the umpire rewarded him a hit-by-pitch. Girardi came out to argue and got tossed. It was pretty clear that Saltalamacchia swung at the pitch, but umpires have a tough job of watching the game a few feet away from the action and reporting what they see so we have to forgive them.

Adrenaline Fueled Charity!

Cervelli hit a homerun, his second jack of the season. That's $2 for the babies at the Children's Health Fund.

Mark Teixeira 35hr = $70
Curtis Granderson 38hr = $76
Russell Martin 17hr = $34
Alex Rodriguez 14hr = $28
Jorge Posada 12hr = $24
Robinson Cano 23hr = $46
Andruw Jones 11hr = $22
Brett Gardner 5hr = $10
Nick Swisher 21hr = $42
Derek Jeter 4hr = $8
Francisco Cervelli 2hr = $4
Eduardo Nunez 4hr = $8
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 1hr = $2
Total = $376

The New Homerun Club Captain Is...

2011-08-30T12:24:00.000-07:00

Since the beginning of last season the Children's Health Fund has been without a homerun club captain. It had passed from Don Mattingly to Bernie Williams to Johnny Damon, but once Damon left, the legacy was broken, children suffered, babies wept, clinics watered down the dymetapp, and doctors watered down their whiskey. Until now. Its been announced that a new captain has emerged, and that captain is none other than Robinson Cano! You can watch the new CHF Robinson Cano PSA playing at the ballpark! As any reader of this blog will know, we've been supporting the CHF since our inception. And by that we mean when the CHF incepted charitable thoughts into our dreams not unlike the movie Inception. So we are quite delighted that they have a new captain and who better than our likely future team captain, Robinson Cano.

Garcia Continues Surprising Season

2011-08-29T20:39:00.000-07:00

The Good

Freddy Garcia won again, giving us six innings of one-run ball. Nick Swisher hit a two-run home run, the difference in the game. Granderson scored in the first inning on a double by Mark Teixeira. SoRoRa (SOriano, RObertson, and RiveRA) closed out the game, though they allowed a run in the eighth (way to go Robertson).

The Bad

Curtis Granderson hit no home runs today. Seriously, why does he even get out of bed in the morning?

The Ugly

The Yankees now head to Boston with momentum. They're mashing homers, scoring runs, catching balls, throwing balls, doing other baseball related activities. But that was the case the last time they headed to Boston, where they proceeded to lay down and play the role of doormat to a team that quite clearly terrifies them. Hopefully that doesn't happen again, but any notion that the Yankees have momentum heading into Boston is not simply stupid, it's ugly.

The Babies with Scabies

Swisher was the only player who even bothered to try today, hitting a home run in the fourth inning with Cano on base. $2 more for the babies.

Mark Teixeira 35hr = $70
Curtis Granderson 38hr = $76
Russell Martin 17hr = $34
Alex Rodriguez 14hr = $28
Jorge Posada 12hr = $24
Robinson Cano 23hr = $46
Andruw Jones 11hr = $22
Brett Gardner 5hr = $10
Nick Swisher 21hr = $42
Derek Jeter 4hr = $8
Francisco Cervelli 1hr = $2
Eduardo Nunez 4hr = $8
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 1hr = $2
Total = $374

Double the Fun

2011-08-29T10:11:00.001-07:00

The Good

Two pitching gems out of Nova and Colon even though Colon got the L. Colon went 7.2 innings allowing just 2 runs and no walks. Nova went 7 innings with 3 runs and 7 strikeouts. Perhaps Colon really was serious when he said he's not tired.

Also good was that Granderson took the lead in homeruns hitting two in the night cap. Swisher, Cano and Jones all hit homeruns back-to-back to get a little swagger going. Robertson worked another miraculous escape with 3 strikeouts in one inning.

The Bad

Colon took the loss because the Yankees could not score 2 runs off of Baltimore. You tip your hat to Britton, but really the offense needed to pick it up there.

The Ugly

Despite becoming the major league leader in homeruns, Granderson is not convinced that he's a homerun hitter.

"I just don't see it." Explained Granderson. "I'm just a singles hitter who's singles leave the park. Every time I reach first I stop there until the ump tells me to keep going. I just don't get it."

But we do, its called having an MVP season, which isn't ugly, but we needed something for this section.

Homeruns in Abundance

2 for Granderson, 1 for Cano, 1 for Swisher, and 1 for Andruw Jones, and all of a sudden, the Children's Health Fund has 10 more dollars from the RJG. Keep swinging those bats gentlemen!

Mark Teixeira 35hr = $70
Curtis Granderson 38hr = $76
Russell Martin 17hr = $34
Alex Rodriguez 14hr = $28
Jorge Posada 12hr = $24
Robinson Cano 23hr = $46
Andruw Jones 11hr = $22
Brett Gardner 5hr = $10
Nick Swisher 20hr = $40
Derek Jeter 4hr = $8
Francisco Cervelli 1hr = $2
Eduardo Nunez 4hr = $8
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 1hr = $2
Total = $372

Wow

2011-08-28T04:08:00.000-07:00

Let's face it, Burnett's been awful. Not regular awful, super awful. When a monster attacks a city of other awfuls, they look to Burnett to save them. That's how super awful he's been. At this point, there's no more "he's thrown well, he just doesn't have a lot to show for it." No more, "he's got electric stuff." He's not f$%&@#g Emperor Palpatine, his stuff is not electric. It's actually not very good; as demonstrated by the regularity with which Major League hitters end Burnett's day long before Girardi does. Now, some may say that Burnett has great stuff but he has to harness it. That sounds good, until you realize that pitching isn't like wind power. We can't build a dam in order to hold back Burnett and convert it into something useful; like an ERA in the 3s.

But Burnett isn't the only problem. Hughes has had one really good start since coming back from super extended Spring Training. At least when Colon gives us five innings it's because he's anxious to get back to his AARP bulletin and he's probably missed his nap. Right now we have a six man rotation with two ginormous question marks.

RJG has no choice but to make the following recommendation: come playoff time, Hughes and Burnett are not to be in the starting rotation. Burnett probably shouldn't be on the roster for that matter. This might upset him, but send him to the mall so he can distract himself with some of his $85M of non-earned cash (okay, he earned some of it in 2009).

You may be thinking that Colon in a playoff rotation is risky given his shoulder is held together by little more than HGH and the hope of every Yankees fan. You're right. But Colon would be a fourth starter in a playoff rotation; you could do far worse. But just in case, the Yankees may want to consider a nice 15-day DL stint for Mr. Colon, just to keep him fresh. Just say he hurt himself napping, no one will question you.

It Wasn't A Game, It Was A Reckoning

2011-08-26T08:12:00.001-07:00

The Good

A score that looked more like a football game than a baseball game. The Yankees won 22-9, setting the record for most grandslams hit in a single game. Cano, Martin and Granderson all came up with the bases loaded and knocked one out of the park. Martin went 5-5 with two homeruns in the game. It appears the offense is starting to smell October. If only our pitching would smell it too.

Something that slid under the radar was game winner Boone Logan, who recorded 4 outs, all of which were strikeouts, and did not allow a single walk or hit. Noesi also recorded 5 outs without giving up a run.

The Bad

Ayala gave up 2 runs in relief, which given the score really didn't matter, but doesn't help his confidence....or ours.

The Ugly

Phil Hughes lasted 2.2 innings and had 6 runs counted against him. In a time where Burnett is ineffective, Colon is apparently tired, and Garcia is coming off of a hand-cutting injury, we really need our other guys to step up. Hughes has been pitching pretty good, but this was an implosion, and makes you wonder how this rotation will fare against a team that can actually hit.

Wow

Martin hit 2 homeruns, Cano, Jones, and Granderson each hit one homerun, and yesterday I only credited Swisher with one homerun when he hit two. That means the babies at the Children's Health Fund get $12 added to the "Nyquil for Infants" program*.

Mark Teixeira 35hr = $70
Curtis Granderson 36hr = $72
Russell Martin 17hr = $34
Alex Rodriguez 13hr = $26
Jorge Posada 11hr = $22
Robinson Cano 22hr = $44
Andruw Jones 9hr = $18
Brett Gardner 5hr = $10
Nick Swisher 18hr = $36
Derek Jeter 4hr = $8
Francisco Cervelli 1hr = $2
Eduardo Nunez 4hr = $8
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 1hr = $2
Total = $354

*Relax, its a joke.

How Are We Going to Lose to Oakland...Twice!?

2011-08-25T06:43:00.000-07:00

The Good

Sabathia went 7.1 innings allowing 3 runs, which should have been enough for the Yankees. Mariano was as advertised with a perfect inning including 2 strikeouts. Swisher hit another homerun yesterday as did Teixeira, and Jeter had another 2 hit game. The smell of October for Jeter is like the smell of blood for sharks. Sharks can smell it from miles away, and go into an immediate frenzy, capsizing boats and spearing whales with their snouts for no reason. Jeter smells October from more than a month away, and starts driving his average up with multi-hit games, and spearing teammates with his snout for no reason.

The Bad

The immediate thing that comes to mind is that we lost. Again. To Oakland. Like jerks.

The Ugly

The highest paid releiver on our roster gave up 3 runs to lose us the game in the 10th. Turns out investing a ton of money in relievers not named Mariano Rivera is a losing endeavor. I would say the Yankees would learn their lesson by now, but they didn't with Farnsworth and Marte. In fact, after experiencing those guys the only thing they changed was that they offered more money, to a more injury prone player, and lost a first round draft pick in the process. Very smart.

More $ for the Babie$

Teixeira and Swisher made sure the babies would not go home unhealthy with their homeruns last night. That's $4 more for the Children's Health Fund.

Mark Teixeira 35hr = $70
Curtis Granderson 35hr = $70
Russell Martin 15hr = $30
Alex Rodriguez 13hr = $26
Jorge Posada 11hr = $22
Robinson Cano 21hr = $42
Andruw Jones 8hr = $16
Brett Gardner 5hr = $10
Nick Swisher 17hr = $34
Derek Jeter 4hr = $8
Francisco Cervelli 1hr = $2
Eduardo Nunez 4hr = $8
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 1hr = $2
Total = $342

How Are We Going to Lose to Oakland?

2011-08-24T06:43:00.000-07:00

The Good

We scored 5 runs, with the help of homeruns by Swisher and Posada. Jeter went 3-3 giving his average a climb to .295. His post-calf, post-3000th hit, post-all-star break performance has been amazing. Posada went 2-4 with the aforementioned homerun and a double. I'm thinking you gotta let Posada play. He's clearly motivated.

The Bad

In the 9th inning with the bases loaded, Nick Swisher hit a long fly ball that looked like a homerun. But the ball deceived us, getting caught just short of the wall by Coco Crisp. It was a rollercoaster ride of emotions, and in the end we lost.

The Ugly

Bartolo Colon. He says he's not getting tired, and that he's feeling strong, but then he gives up 5 runs in 6 innings to the Oakland Athletics. He's either tired or injured, and if he's none of those than he's just ineffective. Either way, he needs to turn some things around if he wants to avoid pitching out of the bullpen come September.

They Just Weren't Enough

Swisher and Posada both hit homeruns, but it was Swishers 9th inning flyball that stands out the most since that's the one that would have won us the game. Either way, $4 for the Children's Health Fund is a plus.

Mark Teixeira 34hr = $68
Curtis Granderson 35hr = $70
Russell Martin 15hr = $30
Alex Rodriguez 13hr = $26
Jorge Posada 11hr = $22
Robinson Cano 21hr = $42
Andruw Jones 8hr = $16
Brett Gardner 5hr = $10
Nick Swisher 16hr = $32
Derek Jeter 4hr = $8
Francisco Cervelli 1hr = $2
Eduardo Nunez 4hr = $8
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 1hr = $2
Total = $338

Minnesota Recap

2011-08-22T06:01:00.000-07:00

The Good

3 out of our 4 starters were exceptional this series. Sabathia, Nova and Hughes all pitched at least 7 innings, allowing a total of 5 runs between them. Hughes pitched 2 outs into the 8th before being pulled. With the exception of Laffey, who apparently plays for us, the bullpen had 8.2 scoreless innings throughout this series.

The Yankee offense was alive and well this series. The Yankees combined for 23 runs in this 4 game series, while hitting 8 homeruns. Andruw Jones hit two of them after watching old tapes at the suggestion of his mother.

"My mom gave me a call and said 'You should watch these old tapes I have.' And I was like 'Mom! Not in front of Jeter!' But she was like, 'Just watch the tapes!' So I got home and put in the tapes. They were reruns of He-Man, and they were so inspiring! Skeletor, the embodiment of evil, would devise his wicked schemes, and then He-Man would always stop him. I was so pumped up, I just started swinging for the fences, which I always do, only now I'm actually making contact."

The Bad

In the midst of what was an exceptional series, we had one black eye, one ugly mark, one player who underperformed and then walked off the field acting as if he were the victim. If you saw the game, then you know I'm talking about A-Rod, who in his first game back went 0-5 leaving 6 runners on base.

"Why does everyone hate me?" asked A-Rod. So selfish.

The Ugly

AJ Burnett's swearing at Girardi when getting pulled out of the game in the 2nd inning after allowing 7 runs. I know he got frustrated, but you don't fault your manager for your own underperformance, and you don't swear at your manager after he just saved your ERA from further embarrasment. The truth is, Burnett is at risk of losing his spot come playoff time. We have 5 starters who are outperforming him. Sabathia, Colon, Hughes, Nova, and Garcia are all pitching better than him.

No One Man Should Have All This Power

Granderson tied Bautista with an inside-the-park homerun, but lost it later that day when Bautista hit his league leading 36. Besides Granderson, Texeira, Swisher, Jones, and Martin all put smiles on the children's faces. 8 homeruns from those guys means $16 for the Children's Health Fund.

Mark Teixeira 34hr = $68
Curtis Granderson 35hr = $70
Russell Martin 15hr = $30
Alex Rodriguez 13hr = $26
Jorge Posada 10hr = $20
Robinson Cano 21hr = $42
Andruw Jones 8hr = $16
Brett Gardner 5hr = $10
Nick Swisher 15hr = $30
Derek Jeter 4hr = $8
Francisco Cervelli 1hr = $2
Eduardo Nunez 4hr = $8
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 1hr = $2
Total = $334

Really?

2011-08-18T06:13:00.000-07:00

The Good

Jeter and Granderson had huge games. Jeter went 4-5 with a double, while Granderson went 3-4 with a double and a homerun. Hector Noesi pitched 3 scoreless innings in relief of Bartolo Colon.

The Bad

Bartolo Colon. 5 innings 5 runs, and yes there was a controversial call (see the ugly) but it wasn't like he was dominating before or after that.

The Ugly

Billy Butler hit a homerun that seemed to hit off the padding in the outfield wall and bounce back onto the field. By all accounts, excluding that of the umpires, that ball should be in play. Instead it was deemed a homerun, and after a review that call was upheld. If the Yankees had come back to win the game, and they had opportunities to do so, then this wouldn't be an issue, but it was a one-run loss and one of those runs is controversial. However, when Bruce Chen is on the mound and you don't capitalize on that, then you really don't deserve to win.

Granderson Closing in on Bautista

Granderson hit number 34 of the season, putting him just one shy of Bautista. Martin also hit a homerun so that's $4 for the babies.

Mark Teixeira 32hr = $64
Curtis Granderson 34hr = $68
Russell Martin 13hr = $26
Alex Rodriguez 13hr = $26
Jorge Posada 10hr = $20
Robinson Cano 21hr = $42
Andruw Jones 6hr = $12
Brett Gardner 5hr = $10
Nick Swisher 14hr = $28
Derek Jeter 4hr = $8
Francisco Cervelli 1hr = $2
Eduardo Nunez 4hr = $8
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 1hr = $2
Total = $318

If You Give Up 7 Runs to the Royals do you Really Win?

2011-08-17T06:59:00.000-07:00

The Good

Nova recorded his 12th win of the season, which is good I suppose. Jeter continues to drive the ball with a double yesterday as part of a 2-6 game. Cano went 2-5 with a homerun and 4 RBI's. The Logan-Soriano-Robertson-Rivera train continues its success, pitching 3.2 innings of scoreless baseball. Posada came in as a pinch hitter, and drew a walk. You have to think that Posada can still help a team in some capacity somewhere.

The Bad

Nova gave up 7 runs in 5.2 innings of baseball and still got the win. This is a direct slap in the face to Burnett who had a commanding lead a few weeks back, but couldn't record the final out in the 5th to record the win. However, 7 runs to Kansas City is just not acceptable. He gets a pass though because he's been so good for us in the past.

The Ugly

The Yankees are in sole possession of first place over a team that's dominated them all season. Is that ugly for us or for the Red Sox? Maybe a little of both.

Bring the Ruckus!

Cano sure did. A solid piece of hitting after what looked like a 100-pitch at bat. That's 21 homeruns on the season for Cano, and $2 for the Children's Health Fund.

Mark Teixeira 32hr = $64
Curtis Granderson 33hr = $66
Russell Martin 12hr = $24
Alex Rodriguez 13hr = $26
Jorge Posada 10hr = $20
Robinson Cano 21hr = $42
Andruw Jones 6hr = $12
Brett Gardner 5hr = $10
Nick Swisher 14hr = $28
Derek Jeter 4hr = $8
Francisco Cervelli 1hr = $2
Eduardo Nunez 4hr = $8
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 1hr = $2
Total = $314

Jeter May Not Be As Old As We Thought

2011-08-16T05:57:00.000-07:00

The Good

Despite his best efforts, Burnett could not implode enough to continue his winless streak. Jeter went 3-5 with a triple and 3 RBI's. Rivera locked down his 31st save of the season, pitching a perfect inning in the process. The Yankees are now tied for 1st with the Red Sox, and are surprisingly competitive after their embarrasing display at Fenway Park last week.

The Bad

Our number 2 pitcher is pitching like a number 4 or 5. It was nice for Burnett to get a win, but it would be nicer if he could have a dominating game.

The Ugly

Eric Chavez went 0-5 with 3 strikeouts while Posada went 1-2 with a walk and 2 runs scored. He is 3-22 in his last 6 games with 8 strikeouts, and his average his dipped from .310 to .276. For the time being, you have to let Posada get his at bats.

I Believe That Children Are Our Future

But the Yankees do not. No homeruns means no money for the children at the Children's Health Fund.

Mark Teixeira 32hr = $64
Curtis Granderson 33hr = $66
Russell Martin 12hr = $24
Alex Rodriguez 13hr = $26
Jorge Posada 10hr = $20
Robinson Cano 20hr = $40
Andruw Jones 6hr = $12
Brett Gardner 5hr = $10
Nick Swisher 14hr = $28
Derek Jeter 4hr = $8
Francisco Cervelli 1hr = $2
Eduardo Nunez 4hr = $8
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 1hr = $2
Total = $312

A Weekend of Rain

2011-08-15T06:16:00.000-07:00

The Good

Hughes pitched another solid 6 innings, allowing just 2 runs with 6 strikeouts for the win. Posada ate his Wheaties and went 3-5 in that game with 6 RBI's including a grandslam. Turns out he's not done yet. Granderson hit his 33rd homerun of the season breaking all notions of him not being a homerun hitter. Wade, Ayala, and Noesi impressed over the weekend with a combined 4 innings of scoreless baseball.

The Bad

5 runs off Sabathia? We don't play that!

The Ugly

We're down to a 5 man rotation for the time being after Freddy Garcia cut his hand. "I was playing catch with my son." Explained Garcia. "But not with a baseball. We were playing knife catch. Its perfectly safe if you catch it by the handle. You just have to time it right, but knife catch is a drinking game so my timing was a little off. I got cut, and now I can't throw a splitter. Its frustrating."

(Insert Wutang Quote Here: Reader Suggestions Welcome)

Granderson and Posada gave the babies a reason to rejoice with their homeruns this weekend. That's $4 to the Children's Health Fund, good for a bottle of Dymetapp.

Mark Teixeira 32hr = $64
Curtis Granderson 33hr = $66
Russell Martin 12hr = $24
Alex Rodriguez 13hr = $26
Jorge Posada 10hr = $20
Robinson Cano 20hr = $40
Andruw Jones 6hr = $12
Brett Gardner 5hr = $10
Nick Swisher 14hr = $28
Derek Jeter 4hr = $8
Francisco Cervelli 1hr = $2
Eduardo Nunez 4hr = $8
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 1hr = $2
Total = $312

Yanks Take Series . . . Barely

2011-08-11T19:52:00.000-07:00

The Good

Colon pitched a good six innings, allowing only two runs. Soriano continued his seventh inning dominance, proving the theory that he only pitches well in odd numbered innings. Robertson also lock down the eighth once again.

The Bad

Wade was bad today, putting two men on in the ninth and recording only one out.

The Ugly

Mo's first pitch left the house for a three-run home run. That's three shaky outings in a row now for our vaunted closer. Is it panic time? Probably not. But it's still ugly.

Today's Mathematics

Granderson hit his 32nd home run of the week, while Cano hit a grand slam in the seventh. $4 more for the kids.

Mark Teixeira 32hr = $64
Curtis Granderson 32hr = $64
Russell Martin 12hr = $24
Alex Rodriguez 13hr = $26
Jorge Posada 9hr = $18
Robinson Cano 20hr = $40
Andruw Jones 6hr = $12
Brett Gardner 5hr = $10
Nick Swisher 14hr = $28
Derek Jeter 4hr = $8
Francisco Cervelli 1hr = $2
Eduardo Nunez 4hr = $8
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 1hr = $2
Total = $308

I'll Take It

2011-08-11T06:03:00.000-07:00

The Good

Nova, by all accounts, did not have his slider, but managed to pitch 6 innings of 3 run ball. A quality start in a game where the Yankees offense really came alive. Cano was a single short of the cycle and Granderson hit 2 homeruns breaking his career high in homeruns in a single season.

The Bad

Teixeira went 0-4. Where did you go Mark Teixeira? Since the Boston series you've gone 2 for 19 good for a .110 batting average.

The Ugly

At this point someone either has to go to the minors or to the bullpen, and who between Nova and Hughes should go? My vote is Hughes to the bullpen. He's been pitching better since his injury, but Nova's been pitching good all season. It was nonsense that they sent him down for Hughes in the first place.

This is Just a Hobby That I Picked Up in the Lobby

A couple homeruns from Granderson, a homerun by Cano, and it looks like treatable diseases are now reeling. $6 for the children at the Children's Health Fund.

Mark Teixeira 32hr = $64
Curtis Granderson 31hr = $62
Russell Martin 12hr = $24
Alex Rodriguez 13hr = $26
Jorge Posada 9hr = $18
Robinson Cano 19hr = $38
Andruw Jones 6hr = $12
Brett Gardner 5hr = $10
Nick Swisher 14hr = $28
Derek Jeter 4hr = $8
Francisco Cervelli 1hr = $2
Eduardo Nunez 4hr = $8
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 1hr = $2
Total = $304

Yanks Lose Third in a Row

2011-08-10T09:44:00.000-07:00

The Good

The weather's been pretty nice.

The Bad

Too nice. We could really use some rain-outs. The Yanks dropped their third in a row, losing to the Angels. Burnett didn't exactly instill us with confidence, and Mo messed up again. Not a good night.

The Ugly

There's been some discussion on the blog about whether these Yankees are afraid of Boston. As responsible journalists, we at the RJG decided to find out whether the Yankees were indeed afraid of their rivals. While in the clubhouse we approached Cano and asked, "Hey Robbie, we're going to Boston, want to come?"

"No! It's scary there!" he yelled as he ran to the trainer's room; a room off limits to journalists.

"Hey Tex," we asked, "we're thinking of a weekend trip to Fenway. You want to join us?"

"But that's where mediocre Boston pitchers play! No way, man! I'm not going!" responded Teixeira.

Finally we asked Granderson. We says, "Hey Grandy, there's an exhibit at the Boston Museum of Fine Art, you want to co . . . Really? You're going to play dead right now? You just opened your eye. Really? I can't #$@%&*$ believe this!"

It Can't Be All Bad, Can It?

No, it's not all bad. Granderson hit his 29th home run yesterday, netting $2 for the kids.

Mark Teixeira 32hr = $64
Curtis Granderson 29hr = $58
Russell Martin 12hr = $24
Alex Rodriguez 13hr = $26
Jorge Posada 9hr = $18
Robinson Cano 18hr = $36
Andruw Jones 6hr = $12
Brett Gardner 5hr = $10
Nick Swisher 14hr = $28
Derek Jeter 4hr = $8
Francisco Cervelli 1hr = $2
Eduardo Nunez 4hr = $8
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 1hr = $2
Total = $298

Jeter's Gangster

2011-08-09T07:44:00.000-07:00

Chad Jennings at the Lohud blog recently linked to this article written by a former Yankees batboy. Its a good article with some inside anecdotes, but one of the stories is of a time when former president Bill Clinton came to visit. All the players were very cordial in their greetings, until Jeter says to him in passing, "Hey, Mr. President, you staying out of trouble?" as he heads out to the field. This of course was post-Monica Lewinski, and therefore a valid question. You gotta love the fact that Jeter just wasn't impressed by stature, and he treated the former president of the United States like he would anyone else.

Embarrasment in Beantown

2011-08-08T09:38:00.000-07:00

The Good

Freddy Garcia actually kept us in the game for 5 innings. He allowed just 1 run, and left with the game tied. That is about as well as we could have expected. Gardner and Nunez both hit homeruns, and all of Logan, Wade, Soriano, and Robertson kept the Red Sox off the board, allowing the Yankee offense to get into the game.

The Bad

The Yankee offense didn't get into the game. Teixeira and Granderson, our fearsom 3 and 4 hitters looked hopeless with runners in scoring postion all series, and Cano seemed to be an automatic out in those situations. Eric Chavez went 0-4 with 3 strikeouts as the DH. Good thing we replaced Posada.

The Ugly

Is Marco Scutaro in Mariano's head? I don't understand why the number 9 hitter gives him so much trouble. But it doesn't really matter. When you think of the Yankees this weekend, and really all season against the Red Sox, they're simply out classed. Our hitters look scared against their pitchers, and our ace looks scared against their lineup. Put a runner in scoring position, and you compound the problem. This Yankees team chokes under pressure.

Solace in Charity

At least we can take solace in the $4 going to the Children's Health Fund on Nunez and Gardner's homeruns.

Mark Teixeira 32hr = $64
Curtis Granderson 28hr = $56
Russell Martin 12hr = $24
Alex Rodriguez 13hr = $26
Jorge Posada 9hr = $18
Robinson Cano 18hr = $36
Andruw Jones 6hr = $12
Brett Gardner 5hr = $10
Nick Swisher 14hr = $28
Derek Jeter 4hr = $8
Francisco Cervelli 1hr = $2
Eduardo Nunez 4hr = $8
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 1hr = $2
Total = $296

Sox Beat Up CC

2011-08-07T19:46:00.001-07:00

The Good

The kids will walk away with some cash after this game.

The Bad

So will the Yankees. That's bull$#!%. They should forfeit their pay for that game after the way they played. Seven earned runs allowed by CC? Seven? He didn't even pitch that many innings! #@$& him!

The Ugly

They're laughing at us in Boston right now. Laughing! Why? Because we lost to John Lackey, that's why.

At Least Some Good Came Out of It

For somebody else anyway. Teixeira's home run in the 8th inning nets another $2 for the kids, despite being completely pointless. We don't judge.

Mark Teixeira 32hr = $64
Curtis Granderson 28hr = $56
Russell Martin 12hr = $24
Alex Rodriguez 13hr = $26
Jorge Posada 9hr = $18
Robinson Cano 18hr = $36
Andruw Jones 6hr = $12
Brett Gardner 4hr = $8
Nick Swisher 14hr = $28
Derek Jeter 4hr = $8
Francisco Cervelli 1hr = $2
Eduardo Nunez 3hr = $6
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 1hr = $2
Total = $292

Montero Coming Soon?

2011-08-07T19:39:00.000-07:00

With Posada out as the regular DH, one has to think it's a possibility. However, as long as Posada is on the 25, that may prove difficult as the bench is not particularly deep and the Yanks may not have the flexibility to carry what is essentially a part-time DH in Montero (he will not be the back-up catcher any time soon).