Thursday, June 30, 2011

Yanks Sweep

The Good

CC Sabathia struck out thirteen on the way to his 11th victory, a 7.2 inning chastisement of his former team for failing to re-sign him after the 2008 season. Luis Ayala has a 1.42 ERA over 25.1 innings. That's pretty good. Teixeira hit his 300th career home run, his league leading 25th of the season. He would've had more by now but he's afraid of needles.

The Bad

I ran out of milk today and had to eat my cereal with a water/protein powder mix. As you can imagine, it wasn't the most satisfying bowl of cereal ever.

The Ugly

The Yankees now head to CitiField to face the Mets. That's it.

One for All

Only Teixeira held down the children today. The rest of the Yankees are deadbeats.

Mark Teixeira 25hr = $50
Curtis Granderson 21hr = $42
Russell Martin 10hr = $20
Alex Rodriguez 13hr = $26
Jorge Posada 9hr = $18
Robinson Cano 13hr = $26
Andruw Jones 4hr = $8
Brett Gardner 4hr = $8
Nick Swisher 10hr = $20
Derek Jeter 2hr = $4
Francisco Cervelli 1hr = $2
Eduardo Nunez 2hr = $4
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Total = $232

Runyon 5k at Yankee Stadium

The Damon Runyon Cancer Research Foundation will be doing their annual 5K race at Yankee stadium on August 7, to raise money for cancer research. Take a look and see if you can make it! The money goes to a great cause, and you get to run around Yankee stadium.

The Catchers Bring the Knocks

The Good

AJ Burnett went 7 innings allowing 2 runs, while Russell Martin and Jorge Posada hit homeruns to back his strong start. David Robertson continues to dazzle with a scoreless inning in setup. Kind of makes you wonder if paying $30 million for a setup guy was worth it when Robertson makes $460,450, but I'll leave that up to the Yankee front office to determine. Mariano locked down the save putting him just 21 shy of 601, which is Trevor Hoffman's all-time saves record.

The Bad

Burnett came out after an error by Nunez, his 10th of the season. Burnett didn't mind, but Nunez was livid. He tore his jersey, threw dust on his head, and rolled from second base to third in the fetal position. It was difficult to watch.

The Ugly

Posada hit a homerun, but the umpires needed to review the tape to be sure. When the umpires came out they said it wasn't a homerun, but Posada proposed the following riddle: "Two men walk into a bar, one had hit a homerun that night, the other hadn't been beaten into a bloody mess, which of those two are you?" The umpire blinked, and reversed the call.

Mark Teixeira 24hr = $48
Curtis Granderson 21hr = $42
Russell Martin 10hr = $20
Alex Rodriguez 13hr = $26
Jorge Posada 9hr = $18
Robinson Cano 13hr = $26
Andruw Jones 4hr = $8
Brett Gardner 4hr = $8
Nick Swisher 10hr = $20
Derek Jeter 2hr = $4
Francisco Cervelli 1hr = $2
Eduardo Nunez 2hr = $4
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Total = $230

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Brewers Show Up Intoxicated, Leave in Rout

The Good

Garcia only threw something like 76 pitches, but it was enough to get through 6 innings of 2 run ball, and enough to allow the offense to score 11 runs. Mark Teixeira hit his 24th homerun of the season putting him in a tie with Bautista for the league lead. Swisher hit a 3-run shot in the second as he single handedly chased Grienke out of the game.

The Bad

Nyjer Morgan was so drunk on his own home brewed moonshine that he misplayed Grandersons hit into a triple. He then held a much greater appreciation for Mickey Mantle's defensive abilities while under the influence.

The Ugly

Noesi and Wade combined for 3 scoreless innings against the demoralized drunken Brewers, giving us hope that our bullpen isn't as tattered as we thought it was. But it is, so they lied to us. And now we'll never know if we can trust them again.

Gotham City Goatherders

That would be the name of the Yankees if the Dutch had remained in control of New York. Even then, we'd still have 27 world championships, and the Children's Health Fund would still be getting paid per homerun from the RJG only it would be in guilders or euros not in dollars. Now that we've clarified all of that, Mark Teixeira and Nick Swisher hit homeruns last night giving $4 (approximately 7 guilders) to the Children's Health Fund's homerun club.

Mark Teixeira 24hr = $48
Curtis Granderson 21hr = $42
Russell Martin 9hr = $18
Alex Rodriguez 13hr = $26
Jorge Posada 8hr = $16
Robinson Cano 13hr = $26
Andruw Jones 4hr = $8
Brett Gardner 4hr = $8
Nick Swisher 10hr = $20
Derek Jeter 2hr = $4
Francisco Cervelli 1hr = $2
Eduardo Nunez 2hr = $4
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Total = $226

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

The Curious Case of Andrew Brackman

According to this article, former first round draft pick Andrew Brackman is not acheiving the way he was once beleived he could. His velocity is down and he's been getting knocked around Scranton. He was removed from the rotation and placed in the bullpen, but to no avail. He just hasn't been able to piece it together.

Brackman was an interesting signing from the beginning. A high-risk, high-reward prospect that the Yankees took a chance on. There were injury concerns (later realized as he needed Tommy John shortly after signing), but he had a big fastball, and the best case scenario had him as a dominant front end starter. However, Brackman is a Boras client, so even though it was a risky signing, the Yankees still over paid. The contract itself isn't so crazy for the Yankees ($4.55 million over 4 years, plus club options through 2013), but still high for a prospect. Where they overpaid was in that they signed Brackman to a major league contract and were therefore forced to place him on the 40 man roster. So even though he was getting lit up in High A ball a few years back, he was accruing major league service time, and taking up a roster spot. A roster spot he still has. Further more, if I'm reading his contract correctly, he was given a $1 million bonus for having the team exercise his 2011 option (which they did), and is making an annual salary of $400,000 in the minors to pitch out of the bullpen (for comparisons sake, Eduardo Nunez makes $419,300, Ivan Nova makes $432,900, and Francisco Cervelli makes $455,700, all of these guys are big league contributors).

Long story short, this was a stupid signing. The point of signing a high risk, high reward player is that you get them cheap. That's why you sign guys like Bartolo Colon and Freddy Garcia to minor league contracts worth $900,000 and $1.5 million respectively. And that's for guys who are proven big league talents. You don't sign a guy with a high risk of injury and who has never thrown a pitch in the major leagues to a long term major league contract.

Monday, June 27, 2011

Weekend with the Rockies

The Good

We took 2 games, and saw the offense come alive scoring 8 runs on Saturday and 6 runs last night. Teixeira now has 23 homeruns after hitting jacks in both weekend games. Sabathia went 8 innings with 1 run on Saturday keeping the Rockies bats at bay. Granderson did not hit a homerun this weekend, but on Friday he was walked 3 times and stole 2 bases. We are seeing the development of a very complete player. A-Rod drove in 3 runs on Saturday, despite the revelation that he is playing with a hurt knee, in addition to a hurt shoulder, and a surgically repaired hip.

The Bad

Burnett wasn't what you would call sharp on Friday. 5 walks and 7 hits with 4 runs were the results after 6.1 innings. The final line of 6.1 innings and 4 runs isn't terrible, but when you adjust for the fact that we were playing the Rockies, that line looks embarrasing.

The Ugly

Granderson has fallen behind in the Jose Bautista homerun race, and now Mark Teixeira has tied Bautista at 23. If Granderson doesn't pick up his pace he may end up with a paltry 37 homeruns this season. Like a jerk.

Sunday Was a Good Day for the Babies

On Sunday, Mark Teixeira, Nick Swisher, and Jorge Posada all hit homeruns to add $6 to the Children's Health Fund's homerun club. Add Teixeira's Saturday homerun, and we're at $8 for the weekend. A good weekend for the babies.

Mark Teixeira 23hr = $46
Curtis Granderson 21hr = $42
Russell Martin 9hr = $18
Alex Rodriguez 13hr = $26
Jorge Posada 8hr = $16
Robinson Cano 13hr = $26
Andruw Jones 4hr = $8
Brett Gardner 4hr = $8
Nick Swisher 9hr = $18
Derek Jeter 2hr = $4
Francisco Cervelli 1hr = $2
Eduardo Nunez 2hr = $4
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Total = $222

Friday, June 24, 2011

Thoughts for the Weekend

This weekend the Yankees will be hosting the Rockies, as interleague play continues to dazzle and amaze us all. As we go into this weekend, here are a few thoughts and observations on the Yankees as they stand right now.

The Offense - There have been some big contributors this year with Granderson stepping up in a major way, and Teixeira not succumbing to his usual first half slump, but that being said the Yankees do not have a single .300 hitter in their lineup. Cano and A-Rod have been hitting well of late, and right on the cusp, but if you're wondering why we've been so terrible with runners in scoring position its because we haven't been hitting period. That being said, our homerun numbers are off the charts, but we need more consistancy at the plate if we expect to beat the better teams out there.

The Bullpen - Remember when Cashman was all about peicing together a bullpen out of hungry minor league prospects? I'll refresh your memory. It was 2009, we won the world series, and we did it with Phil Hughes, Phil Coke, Brian Bruney, David Robertson, Alfredo Aceves, Chad Gaudin, and Sergio Mitre logging the most innings that season. It was a mix of prospects and low risk, low salary minor league singings that kept us winning games that season. At the trade deadline, we acquired a lefty named Damaso Marte who did terrible during the regular season but stepped up big for the world series. We signed Marte that off season to what would later be seen as too big a contract (the free agent market that year did not do well), and in hindsight a terrible deal anyway since he's been injured pretty much the entire time.

In 2010, despite the Marte signing, we again peiced together a bullpen of prospects and low risk low salary signings. Remember Chan Ho Park? And again at the trade deadline we acquired a solid releiver in Kerry Wood, who helped get us the rest of the way. We made it to the ALCS this season, and lost to the Texas Rangers.

Now its 2011, and despite having very succesful bullpens pieced together with low-risk signings, high-talent prospects, and smart trades, we decide to turn to the free agent market to build our bullpen. We acquire Pedro Feliciano and Rafael Soriano, the former has been injured all season, and the latter is currently on the DL after what has been an extremely lackluster New York career. And the Yankees sunk a lot of money in Soriano. Now that this approach has failed as it did with Marte, (not to mention Farnsworth before him), will the Yankees front office wisen up? I know the allure of a solid 8th inning setup guy is tempting, but it hasn't worked out, and even when it does (Kerry Wood) its not going to be worth the price (10's of millions for a guy to pitch 60 innings a year?). And the last thing to consider is that Soriano had a history of injury, and Feliciano was at a very high risk of injury given the amount of innings he logged with the Mets, did the Yankees not consider that before shelling out millions?

The point? Give these prospects a chance, and get the big time releiver when you need them. The fact of the matter is, teams out of contention are ALWAYS looking to shed their high-priced closers and releivers by mid-season. Quality relievers are only valuable for teams who can carry a lead out of the 6th inning.

The Rotation - The rotation has been a huge surprise this year, with AJ Burnett really improving from last year, and Nova showing his maturity and growth. Colon and Garcia have been amazing too. That being said, I'm concerned at how they've performed against good hitting teams. Colon has done really well this season, but he struggled against Toronto, Texas and Boston. Burnett got roughed up badly by Toronto, Tampa Bay, and Boston. Nova, had one really good outing against Texas in between two bad starts against that team. Being young we can expect some inconsistancy with him but its still a variable. And of course Freddy Garcia, despite his magic touch, has struggled terribly with Boston this year, (in two starts he's pitched a total of 7 innings with 8 earned runs). Which leaves us with our ace, CC Sabathia who despite some solid outings, ended up getting roughed up badly (in his last two starts against Boston he went 6.2 innings allowing 6 runs both times.) Not to mention 3 less than dominating starts against Texas. The reason I bring this up, is that the good hitting teams are the ones we're going to be competing against in the playoffs. Do you feel confidant about sending any one of our starters up against the Red Sox? Burnett, Colon and Garcia really need to step up here. Nova is still learning, and he's not an overpowering guy. Neither is Garcia, but he has the Mike Mussina factor. I still remember Mussina striking out guys with an 85mph fastball back in 2008. The veterans have to step up here.

So there you have it, the state of the Yankees, RJG style. Here's hoping for some more interleague domination this weekend.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Split Double Heads

The Good

The first game. Freddy pitched 7 innings allowing just 2 unearned runs, and Posada hit a nice two-run shot to put the Yankees ahead. Mariano closed it out, to complete the Yankee win. All in all, a good game.

The Bad

The second game. In his second start of the season, Brian Gordon went 5 innings and allowed 4 runs. Swisher hit a homerun and A-Rod drove in a run, but that was it for the Yankee offense last night. Limited to a mere 4 hits, the Yankees could not rally to make up the 8 run deficit.

The Ugly

The second games pitchers. After Gordon came out of the game, Logan and Wade combined for a scoreless inning, but then the impressive rookie Hector Noesi came in for the 7th and it all fell apart. He allowed 6 runs across 1.2 innings of work, and that's when the game became just slightly out of reach. Not out of reach for the 2009 Yankees, but definitely for the 2011 Yankees.

When Will Granderson Be Back?

Yesterday, Posada and Swisher gave the babies all the hope they would need. $4 more from the RJG to the Children's Health Fund.

Mark Teixeira 21hr = $42
Curtis Granderson 21hr = $42
Russell Martin 9hr = $18
Alex Rodriguez 13hr = $26
Jorge Posada 7hr = $14
Robinson Cano 13hr = $26
Andruw Jones 4hr = $8
Brett Gardner 4hr = $8
Nick Swisher 8hr = $16
Derek Jeter 2hr = $4
Francisco Cervelli 1hr = $2
Eduardo Nunez 2hr = $4
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Total = $214

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Double Header Today

Last night the Yankees got rained out moving the game to today for an MLB patented double-header. Freddy Garcia and Brian Gordon take the mound for the Yankees, billed as the softest tossing duo in Yankees history. In the epic matchup of pedestrian fastballs vs. a major league lineup, we will either see a team get embarrased or a team get lit up. In just a few hours we will find out which will prevail! In the meantime, I suggest reading the article from Hardball times linked in the previous post.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Jeter 3000

Cool article on Jeter's pursuit of his 3,000th hits by Chris Jaffe at Hardball Times. Helps put the pursuit of this milestone in perspective.

Super Nova

The Good

Ivan Nova pitched 8 innings of 1 run ball, and Mariano Rivera closed the game moving another save closer to Trevor Hoffman's record. The Yankees scored 5 runs, all on clean singles and pure grit with a double sprinkled in there for good measure.

The Bad

The Yankees played in a homerun park, and hit 8 singles. It doesn't matter how many runs they score if there's not a homerun to appease the bloodthirsty masses.

The Ugly

A-Rod came out of the game early. He insists that he is fine, but a little banged up. The real reason he came out of the game is because it was in the midst of an epic game of scrabble with manager Joe Girardi and it was his turn. "I came back and turned the words 'subs' and 'ant' into 'Transubstantiation' for like 8000 pts! I hit the triple word score twice. Joe was in shock. The Catholics have some of the best words."

No Homeruns

Means no money for the bloodthirsty babies. Their appetitte will have to be quenched with milk for now.

Mark Teixeira 21hr = $42
Curtis Granderson 21hr = $42
Russell Martin 9hr = $18
Alex Rodriguez 13hr = $26
Jorge Posada 6hr = $12
Robinson Cano 13hr = $26
Andruw Jones 4hr = $8
Brett Gardner 4hr = $8
Nick Swisher 7hr = $14
Derek Jeter 2hr = $4
Francisco Cervelli 1hr = $2
Eduardo Nunez 2hr = $4
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Total = $210

Monday, June 20, 2011

Cubs Weekend Recap

The Good

Last night the Yankee bats came alive scoring 10 runs off the Cubs including a Nick Swisher blast that drove in 3 runs. Freddy Garcia pitched well Friday night despite getting the loss, and AJ Burnett put up a decent start before he was taken out because of an error by Nunez. He was taken out with only 1 out in the 6th, but through those 5.1 innings he had struck out 8. We walked out of this series going 2-1.

The Bad

Mariano Rivera gave up a solo homerun in his relief outing on Saturday lending credence to the argument that he may actually be human.

The Ugly

On Saturday, Carlos Pena barreled into Russell Martin on a play at home. It was a hard hit, but Martin hopped back up, ball in hand. "I've definitely been hit harder." Explained Martin. "Jetta's definitely hit harder, and I'd even say the Toyota Matrix hit me harder than that too." When asked what he was talking about, Martin explained. "To prepare for the season, I play human frogger across busy streets. It toughens me up for those homeplate collissions. I just sprint across the street with a ball in my glove and I make sure its still in my glove when I'm hitting the pavement. Why do you think I've been on the DL so much?"

Point well taken.

Babies Love the Longball

For each homerun hit, babies get $2 donated to the Children's Health Fund from the RJG. This weekend, Gardner and Swisher hit homeruns adding $4 to the coffers.

Mark Teixeira 21hr = $42
Curtis Granderson 21hr = $42
Russell Martin 9hr = $18
Alex Rodriguez 13hr = $26
Jorge Posada 6hr = $12
Robinson Cano 13hr = $26
Andruw Jones 4hr = $8
Brett Gardner 4hr = $8
Nick Swisher 7hr = $14
Derek Jeter 2hr = $4
Francisco Cervelli 1hr = $2
Eduardo Nunez 2hr = $4
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Total = $210

Friday, June 17, 2011

Aaron Small's Reincarnate Decent in Debut

The Good

Life long minor leaguer, Brian Gordon made his Yankees debut yesterday against a formidable lineup in the Texas Rangers, and came out of it with a decent 5.1 innings of 2 run ball. What many don't know is that Gordon made his major league debut in 2008 as a Texas Ranger. What people also don't know is that Gordon not only made his career in the minors, but also started from the bottom as a towel boy and then worked his way up to the starting rotation. Now he's a New York Yankee. Disney is looking into it to see if there's enough magic in it to make into a movie.

Also good, Cory Wade got the win with two innings of scoreless relief in extra innings. In other news, the Yankees apparently signed someone named Cory Wade.

Gardner had the walk-off hit as he went 2-2 after replacing Jones, but much credit has to go to Posada, who went 1-5 but made that one hit count with an RBI double to score the tieing run.

The Bad

Gardner was caught stealing. Not in the game mind you, but at Saks Fifth Ave where he was chased down by security and made to give up the trial cologne he had snatched out of a sales associates hand. Gardner is now sporting an embarrasing 6 for 20 in theft attempts at upscale department stores.

The Ugly

After his debut Brian Gordon packed his belongings and waited outside in the parking lot for the bus to Scranton. When it didn't come, he took the subway to grand central and took a train to Scranton where he began unpacking his things and looking for an apartment. Girardi sent Ramiro Pena to go get him, but because of a misunderstanding, Pena thought that he too was demoted. "I said 'I need you to go to Scranton.' but before I could explain that I needed him to get Gordon, Pena had already hopped on a train. He was so fast! He already had a prepurchased train ticket to Scranton."Gordon and Pena now have an apartment together in Scranton, and are sharing their big league stories with the kids down on the farm.

No Homers, but National League is Next

Yankees held off their offense yesterday so they could test the long ball in the National League. No homers means no money for the babies, but they will hopefully make up for it on their roadtrip. Here is the year-to-date money raised for the Children's Health Fund:

Mark Teixeira 21hr = $42
Curtis Granderson 21hr = $42
Russell Martin 9hr = $18
Alex Rodriguez 13hr = $26
Jorge Posada 6hr = $12
Robinson Cano 13hr = $26
Andruw Jones 4hr = $8
Brett Gardner 3hr = $6
Nick Swisher 6hr = $12
Derek Jeter 2hr = $4
Francisco Cervelli 1hr = $2
Eduardo Nunez 2hr = $4
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Total = $206

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Marky T Back in the Race

The Good

After falling behind Granderson in the race for Jose Bautista's homerun record this season, Mark Teixeira hit two homeruns to play quick catch up. Granderson got no hits, but it wouldn't matter seeing as the rest of the Yankees infield and bench found their power stroke. Cano, Nunez and Pena all hit homeruns of their own. The bullpen managed to hold an 8 run lead, which is very positive.

The Bad

The Yankees stole 5 bases last night. You're the New York Yankees! None of this small ball crap, just put pitches in the seats!

The Ugly

That last statement made no sense, but this entire post is written pre-coffee so I feel its pretty good considering.

5 Homeruns Heal the World

Because of the courageous deeds of Mark Teixeira, Robinson Cano, Eduardo Nunez and Ramiro Pena, the Children's Health Fund will have ten more dollars to reach and heal the babies.

Mark Teixeira 21hr = $42
Curtis Granderson 21hr = $42
Russell Martin 9hr = $18
Alex Rodriguez 13hr = $26
Jorge Posada 6hr = $12
Robinson Cano 13hr = $26
Andruw Jones 4hr = $8
Brett Gardner 3hr = $6
Nick Swisher 6hr = $12
Derek Jeter 2hr = $4
Francisco Cervelli 1hr = $2
Eduardo Nunez 2hr = $4
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Total = $206

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Granderson May be a Monster

The Good

The offense came alive in the Bronx last night following their scoreless effort the night before. Granderson went 2-4 with another homerun and 4 RBI's. The Yankees scored 12 runs, and both Swisher and Cano contributed with solo homeruns of their own.

The Bad

Jeter was officially moved to the 15 day DL, and will have to put his pursuit of 3,000 hits on hold. Reports have indicated that his gangster remains intact.

The Ugly

After a stat-padding game like yesterdays, you'd think you could look at the Yankees roster and find one .300 hitter on it. But no, there is not a single .300 hitter in the Yankees lineup this season. Lots of power, not a lot of consistancy. I'm just saying, somethings gotta give.

Granderson Sets Sight On Bautista

Jose Bautista and Granderson stand tied at 21 homeruns as the epic chase continues. "I don't just want homeruns. I want his blood." Explained Granderson. When told that his comments could be taken as a threat to Jose Bautista, Granderson quickly recanting "No, I'm talking about a blood drive for the Red Cross. I want everyone's blood. Please give it. Every drop makes a difference." Heart of gold aside, Granderson hit his 21st homerun of the season, as Swisher and Cano also added to the cause with solo shots of their own. The babies and the Children's Health Fund rejoice!

Mark Teixeira 19hr = $38
Curtis Granderson 21hr = $42
Russell Martin 9hr = $18
Alex Rodriguez 13hr = $26
Jorge Posada 6hr = $12
Robinson Cano 13hr = $26
Andruw Jones 4hr = $8
Brett Gardner 3hr = $6
Nick Swisher 6hr = $12
Derek Jeter 2hr = $4
Francisco Cervelli 1hr = $2
Eduardo Nunez 1hr = $2
Total = $196

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

I Didn't See That Coming

The Good

AJ Burnett was masterful, weaving through the Indians lineup with a fastball/curve/changeup combination that kept them off balance. He struck out 8 in 7.2 innings of work allowing just 1 run!

The Bad

That 1 run was enough to lose him the game. The Yankee offense combined to score 0 runs behind one of Burnetts best outings of the season. That's bad.

The Ugly

After collecting a hit in three at-bats and moving within 6 hits from 3,000, Jeter suffered a calf strain knocking him out of the game, and likely ending the chances of him hitting 3,000 on this homestand. He may be heading to the DL. I can't say I saw that coming.

Burnett and Babies Suffer From Offensive Drought

Burnett wasn't the only one to take an L yesterday. So did the babies. That's what happens when the Yankees put their bats away.

Mark Teixeira 19hr = $38
Curtis Granderson 20hr = $40
Russell Martin 9hr = $18
Alex Rodriguez 13hr = $26
Jorge Posada 6hr = $12
Robinson Cano 12hr = $24
Andruw Jones 4hr = $8
Brett Gardner 3hr = $6
Nick Swisher 5hr = $10
Derek Jeter 2hr = $4
Francisco Cervelli 1hr = $2
Eduardo Nunez 1hr = $2
Total = $190

Monday, June 13, 2011

It Was a Massacre!

The Good

Freddy Garcia laid down the law with 6.2 innings of 1 run ball, but the Yankee offense came to life scoring 5 runs in the 5th inning on their way to a 9-1 win. Granderson went 4-4, and Gardner went 3-4 with a double and a triple. Jeter collected a pair of hits moving himself just 7 hits away from 3,000.

The Bad

We have taken 3 games from Cleveland who are legitimate contenders...in the AL Central. The Yankees are still a bunch of cowards in the face of their biggest division rivals the Red Sox. Yes, I'm still upset at them getting swept at home and having 4 players getting plunked before deciding it was worth retaliating.

The Ugly

Martin went 0-4 in his first game back after taking a few days off with a hurt back. Martin had hurt his back doing dead lifts but the RJG decided to investigate further.

"I was doing some dead lifts and Cervelli was spoting me. As I was pumping out my reps, Cervelli was all like 'That looks too easy why don't you add some more weight.' So I was like 'Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.' Then Cervelli was like, 'Real men do dead lifts on one foot.' And I was like 'I'm a real man, why don't I try it?' Then Cervelli says, 'Only cowards do dead lifts sober.' So I was like 'I'm no coward!' So I dipped into Hank Steinbrenner's private stash. Next thing I know, I wake up the next day, Cervelli's in the lineup, and I have a hurt back. I'll never listen to him again."

Granderson's 4-4 Did Not Benefit The Children

No homeruns in yesterday's game, though there were other homeruns hit in games this weekend that we refused to cover. Here's the updated RJG donation record:

Mark Teixeira 19hr = $38
Curtis Granderson 20hr = $40
Russell Martin 9hr = $18
Alex Rodriguez 13hr = $26
Jorge Posada 6hr = $12
Robinson Cano 12hr = $24
Andruw Jones 4hr = $8
Brett Gardner 3hr = $6
Nick Swisher 5hr = $10
Derek Jeter 2hr = $4
Francisco Cervelli 1hr = $2
Eduardo Nunez 1hr = $2
Total = $190

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Yanks Take Series, Lose Pitcher

The Good

Two wins and some feistiness to boot! Joe Girardi yelled at some other guy who was also a manager. A-Rod and Granderson have home runs in each of the last two games, and Teixeira had one today. Also, Colon has yet to blow out his arm.

The Bad

Colon has, however, managed to blow out his hammy. Time for a more strenuous cardio program perhaps? Or a less strenuous doughnut eating program? Only time will tell, but the DL seems likely.

The Ugly

Over the course of the last five games, every Yankee player has been hit by a pitch at least once. They're starting to think it's intentional, but I think they're just being paranoid.

The Kids Get Some Help

Five home runs the last two games. Two each for Granderson and A-Rod. One for Teixeira.

Mark Teixeira 19hr = $38
Curtis Granderson 20hr = $40
Russell Martin 9hr = $18
Alex Rodriguez 13hr = $26
Jorge Posada 6hr = $12
Robinson Cano 12hr = $24
Andruw Jones 4hr = $8
Brett Gardner 3hr = $6
Nick Swisher 5hr = $10
Derek Jeter 2hr = $4
Francisco Cervelli 1hr = $2
Eduardo Nunez 1hr = $2
Total = $184

Friday, June 10, 2011

Yankees Start Strong, but End Cowardly

The Good

Sabathia pitched an amazing 6 innings and finally pegged Ortiz being the only Yankee pitcher with enough self-respect to do so. All it took was 4 teammates getting hit before a Yankee pitcher finally decided to do something, but its better than the overall trend of cowardice the Yankees have been displaying collectively. Granderson hit a homerun and Posada got his average above .200 with a pair of hits last night.

The Bad

Everything fell apart in the 7th. The Yankees carried a two run lead to that point, and then lost it with a 6 run inning by the Sox. Ortiz scored from first when what should have been a single by Jed Lowrie was converted into a triple by Nick Swisher, who misplayed the ball, and let it roll to the outfield wall.

The Ugly

Beckett continues to dominate the Yankees, as the Yankees continue to play like cowards. And not like the cowards who over come adversity when they discover inner strength, but like the cowards who have 5 of their hitters pegged in 3 games, lose all three of those games, and then thank their lucky stars the Red Sox are finally out of town. You Yankees are a bunch of cowards!

Granderson Cares

He hit a homerun. It'd be nice if some of these homeruns would help us win games in addition to helping the children.

Mark Teixeira 18hr = $36
Curtis Granderson 18hr = $36
Russell Martin 9hr = $18
Alex Rodriguez 11hr = $22
Jorge Posada 6hr = $12
Robinson Cano 12hr = $24
Andruw Jones 4hr = $8
Brett Gardner 3hr = $6
Nick Swisher 5hr = $10
Derek Jeter 2hr = $4
Francisco Cervelli 1hr = $2
Eduardo Nunez 1hr = $2
Total = $174

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Yankees Fall Apart, and Then Fall Apart

The Good

Every player on the roster is currently on the DL or day to day, which means they should be pretty fresh for the stretch run come July.

The Bad

Did you ever see that movie 'Unbreakable'? Well, meet the 2011 Mr. Glasses. Joba's on the DL (making four relievers currently on the DL: Joba, Marte, Soriano, Feliciano). Martin's hurt his back doing dead lifts. I'm pretty sure somebody died in their sleep of old age. This is getting ridiculous.

The Ugly

How do you give up eight runs in less than six innings? Remember when pitchers who kept giving up runs were taken out of the game by the manager? The good old days!

I Can't Believe We're Making A Donation For This Game

But the children come first. A-Rod hit another home run, netting the children $2 more.

Mark Teixeira 18hr = $36
Curtis Granderson 17hr = $34
Russell Martin 9hr = $18
Alex Rodriguez 11hr = $22
Jorge Posada 6hr = $12
Robinson Cano 12hr = $24
Andruw Jones 4hr = $8
Brett Gardner 3hr = $6
Nick Swisher 5hr = $10
Derek Jeter 2hr = $4
Francisco Cervelli 1hr = $2
Eduardo Nunez 1hr = $2
Total = $172

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

WTF?

The Good

Mark Teixeira was taken out of the game in the first inning after being hit in the knee by a pitch from Sox starter John Lester. Lester later hit Russell Martin. The Yankees did nothing about it.

The Bad

'That's not good,' you say? No. It isn't. But the Yankees being complete p#$$!#s is about the closest thing to a positive in this game. Garcia lasted about as long as his warm-up pitches. We didn't score much. We couldn't even retaliate in a losing effort. What are they going to do? Toss you? YOU'RE STARTER DIDN'T GET OUT OF THE SECOND! Who gives a #@$&! Hit someone and lose the game already!

The Ugly

The manager whining about Papi's antics after he didn't apparently bother to tell his pitcher to put someone on their back is kind of ugly.

The Callous

The Yankees hit no home runs yesterday. Way to go, guys.

Mark Teixeira 18hr = $36
Curtis Granderson 17hr = $34
Russell Martin 9hr = $18
Alex Rodriguez 10hr = $20
Jorge Posada 6hr = $12
Robinson Cano 12hr = $24
Andruw Jones 4hr = $8
Brett Gardner 3hr = $6
Nick Swisher 5hr = $10
Derek Jeter 2hr = $4
Francisco Cervelli 1hr = $2
Eduardo Nunez 1hr = $2
Total = $170

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

I Never Understood This

The Major League Baseball draft was yesterday, and the Yankees signed third baseman Dante Bichette Jr. who I'm sure is amazing. But the big story from the draft is Gerrit Cole who was signed by the Pirates as the first overall pick. Cole had been previously drafted by the Yankees out of high school in 2008, but did not sign so he could go play college ball at UCLA. Now, Cole pitched at UCLA, dominated, and is now being drafted by the Pirates. There's no doubt he's going to make a nice signing bonus, and he will be financially set for the future. But I just find that decision to be amazingly risky. If I were a high school pitcher getting drafted in the first round, there is no way I would go to college. The reason is simple: with my million plus dollar signing bonus I could set aside enough to go to college, and see how my professional career pans out. If I succeed and reach the majors then great. If not, I have enough money set aside to go back to college and find a new career. My mind is less likely to fall apart than my arm. There is a risk in playing college ball and getting injured. With an injury you'll be getting drafted in a lower round and getting a lower signing bonus or worse, you won't be able to play at all.

Monday, June 6, 2011

Yanks End Road Trip with Series Win

The Good

Aside from Jered Weaver, who's still mad at us for how we treated his brother Jeff, nobody on the Angels team could stop us. It frustrated Torii Hunter so much that he tackled a Yankee fan, and then proceeded to be a d*#k about it.

The Bad

Teixeira hit like 80 home runs this weekend, one short of his career high for a weekend series on the west coast before high tide. He was pretty despondent about having failed to top his previous mark.

The Ugly

It's very simple: do NOT look Curtis Granderson in the eye right now. It will not go well for you. He has once again lost the team lead in home runs and he is not in a good mood.

Teixeira's House

Sorry Curtis. Swish, Cano, and A-Rod each hit a home run this series, but Teixeira hit two. Safe to say his antics have not made him the most popular guy in the clubhouse. $10 more for the kids.

Mark Teixeira 18hr = $36
Curtis Granderson 17hr = $34
Russell Martin 9hr = $18
Alex Rodriguez 10hr = $20
Jorge Posada 6hr = $12
Robinson Cano 12hr = $24
Andruw Jones 4hr = $8
Brett Gardner 3hr = $6
Nick Swisher 5hr = $10
Derek Jeter 2hr = $4
Francisco Cervelli 1hr = $2
Eduardo Nunez 1hr = $2
Total = $170

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Yankees Sweep in Oakland, Stadium Never Looked Cleaner

The Good

AJ Burnett pitched a solid 7 innings of 2-run ball, limiting the Athletics to 3 hits and 3 walks. Though each one of those 3 hits was for extra bases, Burnett did not scare, and he attacked Oakland fearlessly. And I don't mean pitching wise, he actually physically assaulted the Oakland Athletics, charging into their dugout during the commercial break, kicking water coolers and hurling batting helmets. Burnett wasn't allowed to return for the 8th inning as Girardi put him on time out.

Swisher hit a nice 3-run homerun to get the Yankees ahead.

The Bad

The third base coach Rob Thompson was laying down the homerun sign for Swisher, but Swisher never knew there was a sign for homerun so he thought Thompson was asking him to bunt. After watching Swisher square the bunt a couple times, Thompson just gave him the finger enraging Swisher, and giving him the extra pop needed to get the ball over the fence.

The Ugly

Remember when A-Rod was using steroids in Texas that he got from his cousin Yuri Sucart, and then Yuri was banned from all of MLB? Well apparently he was at the Yankees hotel in San Francisco, and had been reportedly spotted with Alex last season. We'll see what comes of the MLB investigation.


Granderson Takes Break, Swisher Takes Charge


Swisher hit a homerun providing runs for the Yankees and hope for the children.

Mark Teixeira 16hr = $32
Curtis Granderson 17hr = $34
Russell Martin 9hr = $18
Alex Rodriguez 9hr = $18
Jorge Posada 6hr = $12
Robinson Cano 11hr = $22
Andruw Jones 4hr = $8
Brett Gardner 3hr = $6
Nick Swisher 4hr = $8
Derek Jeter 2hr = $4
Francisco Cervelli 1hr = $2
Eduardo Nunez 1hr = $2
Total = $160

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Father's Day: Ticket Liquidator Plug

When father's day comes around we're always left with the same dilemma. What do we buy the man who raised us? Commercials will tell us that our fathers want all sorts of things but they're mostly a lie. Tools? You might as well just tell them that they can no longer enjoy their weekends. Instead of relaxing on a Saturday morning, they're going to be expected to put together that Ikea dinning room set you had bought your mom for mother's day. How about a nice pen? Yes, because my dad hasn't stepped into the 21st century. A tie? Now you're just getting lazy. So what does a father really want? Sports. And here's why:

1) A lot of men like sports.

2) A lot of father's want to spend time with their children.

3) As Americans we love to yell at athlete's well out of ear shot fulfilling a primal need to hate people who are better than us.

You see going to a game combines all of these things. Sports, time with family, and primal yelling. To this end I want to call all of your attentions to one of our advertisers, Ticket Liquidators. They're already great because they've been our longest supporting advertiser, which helps us with our contributions to the Children's Health Fund, but beyond that, they're an extra place to look for tickets to all sorts of events. Go yell at Kevin Youkilis with seats at Red Sox games. Come October, look for those MLB playoff tickets (void if you're a Mets fan), or lock down those 2011 MLB All-Star Game tickets. And you can always, always look for Yankees tickets. Give them a look the next time you are shopping for tickets, and remember, Father's Day is creeping up June 19th!

Yankees Pad Stats in Oakland

The Good

An offensive onslaught of epic proportions is pretty good. Granderson got back on his personal quest to out slug Teixeira with a homerun as part of his 3-5 evening, which included 4 RBI's and a stolen base. A-Rod went 3-4 with 3 RBI's of his own. Freddy Garcia would not be intimidated by the Kouzmanoff's and Coco Crisps of the world and put up a respectable 7 innings of 3 run ball.

The Bad

David Dejesus hit a homerun off Garcia and Dejesus hits like 6 homeruns a year.

The Ugly

The Yankees simply refused to relent last night sending panic waves throughout the crowd in Oakland. Panic waves are different than the regular wave in that its induced by fear rather than drunken fans.

The Infants Are The Real Winners

Both Cano and Granderson hits homeruns last night adding $4 to the infants fund which is our nick name for the Children's Health Fund.

Mark Teixeira 16hr = $32
Curtis Granderson 17hr = $34
Russell Martin 9hr = $18
Alex Rodriguez 9hr = $18
Jorge Posada 6hr = $12
Robinson Cano 11hr = $22
Andruw Jones 4hr = $8
Brett Gardner 3hr = $6
Nick Swisher 3hr = $6
Derek Jeter 2hr = $4
Francisco Cervelli 1hr = $2
Eduardo Nunez 1hr = $2
Total = $158