This is the moment we've all been waiting for. Derek Jeter agreed to do a chat interview with us, on the condition that all his responses could be in the form of emoticons. Okay, we were kind of surprised that Jeter knew any emoticons, but I guess he's a renaissance gangster. Here is the transcript of this momentous interview:
RJG: So Mr. Jeter...
RJG: Ok, Derek. How do you feel about the Yankees' offseason moves thus far?
RJG: You're moving into a new stadium next year, was it difficult leaving the House that Ruth built?
RJG: I can imagine. You guys missed the playoffs for the first time in twelve years this past season. Can you give us your thoughts on that?
RJG: Interesting. How did you feel about Joe Girardi's no candy policy?
RJG: That makes no sense. Do you think he had difficulty managing a veteran clubhouse?
RJG: That bad huh? We're you as surprised as we were when it was announced that the Yanks had landed Teixeira?
RJG: Totally. How did you feel when Joe Torre left the Yankees?
RJG: I'm sure it was tough. Let me ask about A-Rod. There has been much discussion about a strain in your relationship. How do you really feel about A-Rod?
RJG: What does that mean? You're his chearleader?
RJG: Let's move on. Rumors are that you are dating Minka Kelly. What is it that you like about her?
RJG: That is both awkward and inappropriate. Thank you for your time.
There you have it folks. Our official Derek Jeter interview.