Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Preview of Jeter's Prepared Comments for Tomorrow

Derek Jeter has said that he will not address the media regarding the A-Rod steroid scandal until tomorrow. Our intrepid undercover reporters have acquired a copy Derek Jeter's prepared comments for tomorrow. Below is his opening statement.

"From 1996 to 2004, there often raged in baseball a debate about who the best shortstop was. Nomar, Alex, Tejada, and myself were all mentioned in this conversation. With Nomar being completely whipped and usually injured, Tejada pleading guilty to perjury, and Alex's admission of PED use, it is now clear that I am the best shortstop of my era. In fact, I'm the best shortstop ever. I'm also better looking than all of you, the members of the press, whose lives literally revolve around me, Derek [expletive] Jeter. Thank you very much."

Hard to argue with Jeter's logic on this one, or his gangster. It will be interesting to see whether he revises his statement before tomorrow, not that it's been leaked.

11 comments:

Fred Trigger said...

Sanderson is a swear word?

Ruthie said...

LMAO @ fred trigger... apparently it is!!! and how cool would Jeter be if he said that.... I say that the RJG guys put on their ninja suits, sneak into jeters apartment through the window, where small children are sleeping upstrighs, and switch the prepard statement with that one... that would really bring the LOL's =D

TribeGirl said...

If Derek Jeter had small children sleeping upstairs - that would be a bigger story than ARod's latest! Jeter has kids!!!

Rev said...

What Gangster!

anonymous number two said...

Classic, Fred Trigger.

Roberto Alejandro said...

Sanderson is probably the most foul word in the English language. That being said, we didn't censor the comment, Jeter wrote it that way. We thought it was weird too.

Fred Trigger said...

yeah, especially since its associated with this guy. http://www.baseball-reference.com/s/sandesc01.shtml

Truly a dark time for the yankees.

RSiciliano said...

In his first draft, part of his statement said, "Anyone who thinks I should move away from shortstop is a bo-tard."

But then he thought he'd be offending the bo-tards.

anonymous number two said...

RJG should sponsor that guy's page at baseball-reference.com

RSic's comment makes me think all the AROD stuff makes Jeter's bargaining position for his new contract that much stronger.

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