Friday, June 17, 2011

Aaron Small's Reincarnate Decent in Debut

The Good

Life long minor leaguer, Brian Gordon made his Yankees debut yesterday against a formidable lineup in the Texas Rangers, and came out of it with a decent 5.1 innings of 2 run ball. What many don't know is that Gordon made his major league debut in 2008 as a Texas Ranger. What people also don't know is that Gordon not only made his career in the minors, but also started from the bottom as a towel boy and then worked his way up to the starting rotation. Now he's a New York Yankee. Disney is looking into it to see if there's enough magic in it to make into a movie.

Also good, Cory Wade got the win with two innings of scoreless relief in extra innings. In other news, the Yankees apparently signed someone named Cory Wade.

Gardner had the walk-off hit as he went 2-2 after replacing Jones, but much credit has to go to Posada, who went 1-5 but made that one hit count with an RBI double to score the tieing run.

The Bad

Gardner was caught stealing. Not in the game mind you, but at Saks Fifth Ave where he was chased down by security and made to give up the trial cologne he had snatched out of a sales associates hand. Gardner is now sporting an embarrasing 6 for 20 in theft attempts at upscale department stores.

The Ugly

After his debut Brian Gordon packed his belongings and waited outside in the parking lot for the bus to Scranton. When it didn't come, he took the subway to grand central and took a train to Scranton where he began unpacking his things and looking for an apartment. Girardi sent Ramiro Pena to go get him, but because of a misunderstanding, Pena thought that he too was demoted. "I said 'I need you to go to Scranton.' but before I could explain that I needed him to get Gordon, Pena had already hopped on a train. He was so fast! He already had a prepurchased train ticket to Scranton."Gordon and Pena now have an apartment together in Scranton, and are sharing their big league stories with the kids down on the farm.

No Homers, but National League is Next

Yankees held off their offense yesterday so they could test the long ball in the National League. No homers means no money for the babies, but they will hopefully make up for it on their roadtrip. Here is the year-to-date money raised for the Children's Health Fund:

Mark Teixeira 21hr = $42
Curtis Granderson 21hr = $42
Russell Martin 9hr = $18
Alex Rodriguez 13hr = $26
Jorge Posada 6hr = $12
Robinson Cano 13hr = $26
Andruw Jones 4hr = $8
Brett Gardner 3hr = $6
Nick Swisher 6hr = $12
Derek Jeter 2hr = $4
Francisco Cervelli 1hr = $2
Eduardo Nunez 2hr = $4
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Total = $206


Rich Mahogany said...

Who are these people? This is the Yankees, I demand that every single player on the roster be a household name. Cashman, go get us Raul Mondesi and Mark Wohlers immediately.

Fernando Alejandro said...

Cashman couldn't even get us Cliff Lee!

Steve said...

your ugly part could have just stopped after the word Scranton.

Rich Mahogany said...

After this season, Cashman will deliver by signing the best starter on the market to a huge contract. His name will be CC Sabathia.

Uncle Mike said...

There is no train from New York to Scranton. Hasn't been for many years. New Jersey and Pennsylvania's departments of transportation have been talking about reestablishing a line to be operated by New Jersey Transit into Penn Station, but at the moment they're still talking. For your "The Ugly" to happen, it would have to be by bus at Port Authority.

Brett Gardner doing a Winona Ryder?

Fernando Alejandro said...

These stories are authentic and true! Don't you ever question the facts presented herein, no matter how untrue they are!