Friday, February 3, 2012

RJG Solves the DH Problem

Recently, we here at RJG had a stroke of pure genius as to how the Yanks might address their DH needs. We immediately called good friend of the blog, Brian Cashman, in order to explain our exciting new idea. The following is a transcript of our conversation:

BC: Hello?

RJG: Bronny! [Strained attempts at breathing]. It's the boys over at RJG. [More desperate gasps]. How ya doin'?

BC: Fine. Why are you breathing so hard?

RJG: #@$% . . . Dialing . . . Phone . . . $#!% I'm out of shape!

BC: Do you need something?

RJG: Yeah. We figured out the solution to your DH needs.

BC: Well I always welcome unsolicited advice from semi-knowledgeable members of the public.

RJG: Sarcasm noted. Okay, here's what you do. You call up Seattle, note their deficit of pitching, buttressed only by the insecurity of some blue chip double A prospects, and offer them Burnett, and or Hughes for Jesus Montero. Problem solved. You're welcome.

BC: You think Seattle is going to trade us back Montero for Burnett or Hughes?

RJG: No need to thank me. No, seriously, thank me.

BC: That is the craziest trade idea I have ever heard.

RJG: You once traded for Randy Johnson.

BC: That was unusually mean-spirited.

RJG: So are you going to trade for Montero?

BC: I don't think Seattle will go for that.

RJG: But you haven't even tried it yet!

BC: Is there something else you'd like to talk about?

RJG: Um, uh, well, you know how cell phones come with instruction manuals, and it's like, um, hello? Who doesn't know how to use a phone? Totally.

BC: Well actually, today's smart phones are increasingly complex instruments that undergo frequent technological transformations. An instruction manual is probably warranted.

RJG: #@$% you, Brian Cashman.


There you have it folks. The Yankees continue their pursuit of a left-handed bat to occupy the currently vacant DH role.


The Other Guys said...

Whatever. Just sign The Rock. I don't care that the The Rock may not be able to handle the shift. I don't care that we don't need two players bunting to left field. We are the Yankees. We need STARS. STARS with Million Dollar Smiles. So just go sign The Rock. Bronny.

The Other Guys said...

And yes, I also don't give a damn that some poeple still don't know how to use a phone.
Just sign The Rock. You hear me?

Rich Mahogany said...

You will have to settle for Freddy Garcia.