Cano and His Quarter Billion Dollars Defeat Yankees

The Good

I'm skipping all the games since our last post, which is good for me. I'll summarize thusly: we took the Boston series and then we took the Angels series. It's not so good for those of you hoping to read our eagle-eyed analysis of the past five games, but deal with it. It's not all about you. Teixeira is looking good since his return from the DL, hitting three home run since our last update.

The Bad

Sabathia couldn't hold the lead on a cold night and the offense, other than a solo home run by Teixeira in the 2nd, didn't do much either. Clearly, this is a warm weather team. And based on the reception of Robinson Cano, one with fair weather fans.

The Ugly

I'm not sure it's official yet, but the Red Sox may now be a classier organization than the Yankees. Cashman has become the new, somehow more smug Theo Epstein. Our fans booed our best player of the last nine years for accepting a better job offer while the Boston fans only half-heartedly booed Ellsbury and then the organization paid him a video tribute. This for a guy who, while he played on some winners, was also hurt a lot during his stint in Boston and was largely a quiet presence, not one that necessarily had to be celebrated. Is this who we are now?

Show Me the Homers

Since our last update, Teixeira has hit three home runs, while John Ryan Murphy has hit one of his own. That's $8 more for the kids.

Brett Gardner 1hr = $2
Alfonso Soriano 4hr = $8
Kelly Johnson 3hr = $6
Carlos Beltran 5hr = $10
Dean Anna 1hr = $2
Brian McCann 3hr = $6
Yangervis Solarte 1hr = $2
Mark Teixeira 3 hr = $6
John Ryan Murphy 1hr = $2

Total 22hr = $44

Yankees Can't Pine Tar Their Way to Victory

The Good

Our bullpen looked solid.  Through 6.1 innings, they allowed 3 runs though only 1 of them was earned.  Beltran, Roberts and Soriano seemingly showed up to play, and had good nights at the plate, but the offense looked anemic overall.

The Bad

The Yankees made John Lackey look like Nolan Ryan last night, and not Nolan Ryan in the early 90's when he was well into his 40's, but mid-70's Ryan when he used to pitch 300 innings and strike out 300 batters.

The Ugly

Pineda was caught using a foreign substance (pine tar) to gain a better grip on the ball.  He most definitely got away with it after his last start against the Red Sox, where he had "dirt mixed with sweat" on the palm of his hand.  There are two likely explanations to why Pineda tried this.  One, he really was that self-deceived to think that a nationally televised game, with dozens of camera's and tens of thousands of spectators would not catch on to what he was doing.  Or two, he misunderstood the meaning of "foreign substance" to mean that he couldn't use any product that wasn't made in America.  We can ask him after his suspension.

How Much Money for the Children?

The Yankees raised a total of $0 for the children yesterday.

Brett Gardner 1hr = $2
Alfonso Soriano 4hr = $8
Kelly Johnson 3hr = $6
Carlos Beltran 5hr = $10
Dean Anna 1hr = $2
Brian McCann 3hr = $6
Yangervis Solarte 1hr = $2

Total 18hr = $36

Yanks Take First Game of Series Against BoSox

The Good

Masahiro Tanaka gave us 7.1 innings of two-run ball, while Ellsbury had a triple, a double, scored two runs, and had two RBI. Beltran had a home run, and Betances didn't have a meltdown.

The Bad

We all make mistakes in life. You more than me, but even I make mistakes once in a while, and I was wrong about the Jacoby Ellsbury signing. He has been spectacular. He's gritty, uses his speed on the bases and not just the outfield (I'm looking at you Gardner), and he gives us everything he has on every play. Yes, he gets hurt a lot, but it's clear to me at this point that he get's hurt because he's going full speed on every play and sometimes runs into outfield walls, known for their sneakiness. Imagine Beltran was as fast as Ellsbury. We probably lose him in that Tampa Bay series. Hopefully, with age, Ellsbury learns that on certain plays giving 99 percent rather than 100 can be the difference between ending up on the DL or having more chances to make spectacular plays.

The Ugly

Anyone who reads this blog knows that Robinson Cano's tendency to not run hard on automatic outs never bothered me. Soriano watching every ball he hits in the air does. Yesterday he hit a ball off the wall that he watched instead of running right away. He ended up on second—in scoring postion&mdashbut he should have been at third. That's starting to become a recurring theme and I can't stand it. I really don't care if Major Leaguers don't want to run hard to first on plays that are outs unless Eduardo Nunez is throwing to first (too soon?). I do mind if they do it on balls that are not outs ever percent of the time.

Million Dollar Baby

Actually, $2 baby, but still. Beltran hit another home run last night, producing another $2 for the children.

Brett Gardner 1hr = $2
Alfonso Soriano 4hr = $8
Kelly Johnson 3hr = $6
Carlos Beltran 5hr = $10
Dean Anna 1hr = $2
Brian McCann 3hr = $6
Yangervis Solarte 1hr = $2

Total 18hr = $36

Weekend in Tampa

The Good

The Yankees pulled out a 12th inning victory last night, which began by a bases loaded walk to Dean Anna, and a two-RBI single by Beltran.  The pitching held the Rays to 1 run yesterday, including a clutch spot start by Vidal Nuno who went 5 innings, and gave up nothing.  Our relief looked sharp last night including old face, but new call up Preston Claiborne who got the win with two innings of shutout ball.

The Bad

I would put Friday and Saturday's games into this category.  The Yankee pitching staff gave up 11 runs on Friday, including a blown save opportunity from Adam Warren where he gave up 3 runs.  To show their solidarity, the pitching staff on Saturday gave up 16 runs including 8 from Nova.  With the exception of yesterdays game, the bullpen looked terrible.

The Ugly

Nova is out with a partial tear in his ulnar collateral ligament.  In other words, he needs Tommy John.  It looks like we're going to be losing him for some time.

But At Least the Kids Are Okay, Right?

Wrong.  The Yankees selfishly spent 3 games giving up homeruns instead of hitting them.  The children will have to go home empty handed this weekend, and have an off day to further consider how badly the Yankees have wronged them.

Brett Gardner 1hr = $2
Alfonso Soriano 4hr = $8
Kelly Johnson 3hr = $6
Carlos Beltran 4hr = $8
Dean Anna 1hr = $2
Brian McCann 3hr = $6 
Yangervis Solarte 1hr = $2 

Total 17hr = $34

Yankees Top Rays, Sabathia Looks Good in Start

The Good

The Yankee offense was sharp against David Price.  Soriano, McCann, and Solarte all hit homeruns, Ellsbury and Roberts each had triples, and the Yankees won the game 10-2.  The best part of the game was Sabathia's start.  He lasted 7 innings, giving up 2 runs (1 earned), and threw a pitch that started a triple play, turned by Solarte, Roberts, and Sizemore.  It was Sizemore's first start at first base.

The Bad

Dellin Betances pitched two innings of shutout relief.  That's good.  However, I watched him throw 3-straight balls, to 4 different batters, before deciding to throw some strikes and get the outs.  And that basically sums up Betances so far.  Great stuff, but can't always find the strike zone.

The Ugly

Last night Yankee fans across the globe watched in horror as their most productive hitter ran full speed into the stands while tracking a fly ball.  Beltran took quite the tumble, but stayed in the game.  Though it was an ugly site, it was impressive to see that level of grit. 

The Bombers Support the Babies

As mentioned before, Soriano, McCann and Solarte each hit homeruns adding $6 to the Children's Health Fund's bank account.  Now they can finally stop adding water to Robitussin to make more Robitussin, and can just buy some new Robitussin.

Brett Gardner 1hr = $2
Alfonso Soriano 4hr = $8
Kelly Johnson 3hr = $6
Carlos Beltran 4hr = $8
Dean Anna 1hr = $2
Brian McCann 3hr = $6
Yangervis Solarte 1hr = $2

Total 17hr = $34

Yanks Sweep Double-Header

The Good

Mere hours after winning a baseball game, the Yankees headed back onto the frigid tundra of Yankee Stadium and won another. The exhausted gladiators suffered through excruciating cold, barely mustering two runs over nine innings. The Cubs, spirits crushed, now face the vacuum that is the dreaded off-day. Pineda, no longer stained by the biased close ups of probing cameras, delivered six innings of runless baseball.

The Bad

The previous paragraph.

The Ugly

Anyone else notice that Jeter now runs like Jorge Posada circa ever? It's not fun to watch.

One Treat a Day Is Enough

The children had their fill in the afternoon. No more dollars would be forthcoming.

Brett Gardner 1hr = $2
Alfonso Soriano 3hr = $6
Kelly Johnson 3hr = $6
Carlos Beltran 4hr = $8
Dean Anna 1hr = $2
Brian McCann 2hr = $4

Total 14hr = $28

Yanks Take First Game of Double-Header

The Good

Cy Tanaka Young went eight innings and gave up no home runs to a number nine hitter. In fact, he gave up no runs, home or otherwise, to anyone. Ellsbury and Gardner each had a double, while Beltran hit a solo home run.

The Bad

Here's looking at you, Cubbies.

The Ugly

Is it ugly that we're already using a defensive substitute in the late innings for Beltran only three weeks into his three year contract? I think it is. I'm hoping it was just because of the cold, but I doubt it.

By the way, why was it so #$&*ing cold today?!

Money Talks, Babies Don't

Until they do, and even then it's mostly unintelligible gibberish. But Carlos Beltran made sure the babies weren't without their God-given speech, which turns out to be the same thing as money according to the Supreme Court. The babies are $2 more loquacious thanks to Beltran's generous contribution.

Brett Gardner 1hr = $2
Alfonso Soriano 3hr = $6
Kelly Johnson 3hr = $6
Carlos Beltran 4hr = $8
Dean Anna 1hr = $2
Brian McCann 2hr = $4

Total 14hr = $28

Yankees Take 3 of 4 From Boston

The Good

The Yankees showed some positive signs this weekend as they took 3 of 4 from the Red Sox.  One, the power seems to be coming to life.  Beltran hit a go-ahead 2-run homerun yesterday, and had another 2-run shot on Saturday.  McCann hit two homeruns on Saturday, Kelly Johnson hit one, and Soriano hit a homerun on back to back days Friday and Saturday.  That's 7 homeruns over the weekend.  Pitching was a little shaky early on in the weekend, but Nova pitched a gem yesterday, going 7.1 innings and allowing 2 runs.

Also a good sign, our bullpen is looking pretty strong.  Betances came in and struck out 3 on Friday, and Shawn Kelley recorded back to back saves as Roberston's replacement.

The Bad

Though there were positive signs from Sabathia and Kuroda, they ended up finishing with less than inspiring lines.  Kuroda went 6.1 innings with 4 runs, and Sabathia went 7 innings with 4 runs.  The good news is that both of these guys really began to get hit in the later innings of their starts.  Sabathia struck out 9 and had Kuroda not gone out for the 7th, he would have ended up with 6 innings and 2 runs.  So while the starts weren't great, I think they're warming up.

The Ugly

Last week we reported that someone finally had the courage to charge a baby with attempted murder.  Well the bad news is that those charges were dropped.  Now we have to live in fear that this stone cold killer is on the loose:

RJG is for the Children

The Respect Jeter's Gangster blog donates $2 for every homerun hit to the Children's Health Fund, mainly so that these kids don't grow up to become stone cold killers.  This weekend, the children had plenty to rejoice over with 2 homeruns from Beltran, McCann and Soriano each, as well as a homerun from Kelly Johnson.


Brett Gardner 1hr = $2
Alfonso Soriano 3hr = $6
Kelly Johnson 3hr = $6
Carlos Beltran 3hr = $26
Dean Anna 1hr = $2
Brian McCann 2hr = $4

Total 12hr = $24

Yanks Take Game One of Four

The Good

Pineda mastered the art of doctoring baseballs, giving the Yanks six-plus innings of one-run dishonest baseball. Asked about the foreign substance on his right hand, Pineda announced his new endorsement deal with McCheat Sticky Stuff Pitching Solution. McCann, who was probably stealing signs, drove in a run. Dean Anna hit his first major league home run not in a video game on easy mode.

The Bad

When asked about the possible pine tar on Pineda's pitching hand, Red Sox hitters were furious.

"What?!" screamed David Ortiz. "Everyone knows that when it's cold out, you're supposed to hit as many batters as possible until you're unceremoniously removed from the game by your manager or your contractual obligation to McCheat Sticky Stuff Pitching Solution, which I endorse and also works for hitters."

The Ugly

McCann has struggled at the plate this season, but managed an RBI in last night's game. Afterwards, however, he had other things on his mind.

"I bought a cat recently and I’ve learned a lot about parenting from having a cat. One of the things I’ve learned is that all mammals manipulate. When my cat wants to go outside, she comes down to the kitchen and meows at me. But not with just any meow, a meow that says ‘why did all my kittens have to die when you drunkenly plowed into them with your car, having already had multiple DUI arrests?’ It’s a heart-wrenching, evil, manipulative meow. And kids are exactly the same way. That’s why they get away with murder. I’m just glad that, finally, someone has had the courage to put an end to this and finally charge a baby with murder."

Greenies for the Babies

Green dollar bills that is. Anna's home run means another $2 for the kids.

Brett Gardner 1hr = $2
Alfonso Soriano 1hr = $2
Kelly Johnson 2hr = $4
Carlos Beltran 1hr = $2
Dean Anna 1hr = $2

Total 6hr = $12

Yanks Drop Series to Os

The Good

Tanaka gave us another quality effort, going seven innings while only giving up three runs. Kelly Johnson and Carlos Beltran both homered, and Warren looked good in relief.

The Bad

We were 1-6 with RISP, suggesting that the 2014 Yankees may be a lot like the 2013 ones. We cannot expect to be competitive relying only on home runs.

The Ugly

Shawn Kelley demonstrated just how thin this roster is. No Dave Robertson is he, but if he gets hurt in the next couple of days he'll be closer than he currently is. We're not really in a position to weather a lot of injuries, though we've managed without Teixeira much better than I expected. Kelley gave up two earned runs in the ninth, helping to put the game away for the Orioles. That's not normally the goal for a Yankees pitcher.

Toddlers Get Dollars

Thanks to Johnson and Beltran, the kids are alright. Or at least $4 richer. Same difference.

Brett Gardner 1hr = $2
Alfonso Soriano 1hr = $2
Kelly Johnson 2hr = $4
Carlos Beltran 1hr = $2

Total 5hr = $10

Well That Wasn't Fun

The Good

Ellsbury has started hitting really well.  He went 3-4 yesterday with a stolen base, continuing a trend of offensive productivity.  Soriano and Johnson each had a solo homerun, which provided hope that the power might soon be coming.

The Bad

The Yankees lost 14-4.  That's a 10 run deficit.  Even with Soriano and Johnson hitting homeruns, that's a large deficit to overcome.  It's almost like the time you put your entire vacation on a credit card, and then cashed your change jar to try to make your payment.  It's a nice gesture, but doesn't come close.

The Ugly

Nova's start and Nuno's relief.  Each of them gave up 7 runs, and at the end of the day, it would have taken an offense in mid season form to try to make that up.  Nova's first start was shaky, and this one was awful, but I'm hoping that he at least has half the leash that Phil Hughes had last year.  Nova has good enough stuff to merit the patience.

 Pennance

The Respect Jeter's Gangster blog is donating $2 for every homerun hit to the Children's Health Fund.  Yesterday Soriano and Johnson made sure the kids would not go home empty handed.  $4 more for the children.

Brett Gardner 1hr = $2
Alfonso Soriano 1hr = $2
Kelly Johnson 1hr = $2

Total 3hr = $6

Yanks Win Home Opener

The Good

Kuroda pitched another good game, giving us 6.1 innings of two-run ball. Jeter had a double, Soriano had two hits, and Shawn Kelley got his first career save. So far, I really like what Ellsbury is bringing to the line-up. His unGardneresque combination of speed, and willingness to run before the batter strikes or pops out is refreshing.

The Bad

Robertson is joining Teixeira on the 15-day DL with a grade 1 strain of his groin. Not the end of the world, but the Yankees are not in a position to absorb a lot of injuries to key players. Hopefully, what we're seeing with Robertson and Teixeira is just a function of it being early in the season.

The Ugly

Who taught the Orioles how to run the bases, Jorge Posada?

Bronx Bunters It Is

We're still struggling to hit home runs. I'm sure this team will pick it up eventually, but right now they have about as much power as photo ID-less voters in Republican controlled states.

Brett Gardner 1hr = $2

Total 1hr = $2

Yankees Win First Series of Year

The Good

Tanaka and Pineda were very good in their first starts of the season.  Tanaka pitched 7 innings allowing 3 runs (2 earned) and striking out 8, Pineda pitched 6 innings of 1 run ball striking out 5.  Tanaka got a win, and Pineda took a loss, but it was a good sign for these two pitchers.

Ellsbury seemingly woke up this weekend having 3 hits on both Friday and Saturday.  Guys like Ichiro and Solarte are providing a lot of offense for the team early on.  One of the most encouraging signs is how often this team is running.  Ellsbury, Gardner, Roberts and Ichiro stole 7 bases over the weekend.  That's a very different look for this team.

It also turns out that we have a decent bullpen.  With the exception of David Phelps' outing, a game we were going to lose anyway since we couldn't score a run, our bullpen pitched 5 shutout innings and recorded it's second save under Robertson.

The Bad

Teixeira is on the 15-day DL.  On Friday night he messed up his hamstring while participating in baseball related activities.

The Ugly

This may not be as ugly as it first appears, but Sabathia ended up going 6 innings and allowing 4 runs last night, far from the ace-like expectations we have of him.  It may not be as bad as it looks because through 5 innings, Sabathia had allowed just 1 run, and then unraveled in the 6th.  It could still be early enough in the season where he is still figuring out how to pitch deep into games.  We'll see in his next start how he does.

Finally, RJG Is For The Children

After what seemed like an eternity, the Yankees hit their first homerun, dumping 2 whole dollars into the Children's Health Fund coffers.  Thank you Brett Gardner.

Brett Gardner 1hr = $2

Total 1hr = $2

Yankees Avoid Sweep in Houston

The Good

The Yankees won their first game of the season, with a gritty effort from Nova, and some production at the bottom of our lineup.  Nova didn't have his best stuff, but he managed to go 5.2 innings and allow 2 runs.  He worked in and out of trouble, and induced 4 double plays to help work out of jams.  Not the best start for him, but not bad for a day where he didn't have his best stuff.

Solarte and Ichiro provided most of the Yankees hits yesterday, with Ichiro going 2-4 with a double and 2 runs scored, and Solarte going 3-3 with a double, 2 runs scored and an RBI.

Also good, the bullpen looks solid!

The Bad

The heart of our lineup, a list that includes Beltran, Teixeira, Soriano, Cervelli, and Roberts, combined to go 0-18 with one walk between them.  This offense really needs to wake up!

The Ugly

I know he's not the player he used to be, but after watching Ichiro yesterday I feel bad about his reduced role.  With Beltran, Gardner, Ellsbury, and Soriano playing the outfield and covering the DH spot, Ichiro has a role that is far more reduced than someone with his talent and experience should be.  If history is an indicator, he'll be sliding in to fill Ellsbury's spot any moment now, but if not, I hope the Yankees trade him.

Still Don't Nothing Move but the Money

Unless you're the Children's Health Fund and are relying on Yankee homeruns for donations to move into your account.  Still no homeruns out of the Bronx bombers, however, they did hit two doubles which means that they're starting to get the ball out of the infield.  That can only be a positive sign.

Yanks Drop Opening Series to AAAA Team

The Good

Kuroda put up a quality start, which is more than we can say for the ace of this team, whom we've yet to see pitch. I'm leaning towards Nova right now but I guess we'll see.

The Bad

The offense has yet to wake up. I'm actually not surprised, the team's average age comes in at a whopping 35.7, while the Astro's are pushing a lean 19.2 average age in their starting line-up. It's going to take a little bit longer, and probably some warmer weather (yes, warmer than Houston in April) to really get us loose.

The Ugly

The Astros pre-game ceremony honoring Derek Jeter took time away from Jeter's pre-game preparation. To make things worse, the 'Stros gave Jeter the same gift that the Rangers gave Mo. Very original guys. Very original.

We've Only Hit a Couple Balls Out Of the Infield, Let's Not Talk About Home Runs Yet

Well That Wasn't Cool

The Good

Our bullpen looks solid!

The Bad

CC Sabathia was not solid.  His first two-innings saw 6 runs cross homeplate, dropping the Yankees into a deficit they would not overcome.  Sabathia is trying to adjust to pitching with reduced velocity.  From the 3rd inning to the 6th he did not allow any runs so it seems he made some necessary adjustments.  Either that, or the Astro's remembered that they're the Astro's and stopped hitting.

The Ugly

A 6 run deficit is tough to overcome, but where were the Yankees bats?  In a lineup that includes Ellsbury, McCann, Beltran, Soriano, and Teixeira, how did we only have 1 extra base hit?  It's only the first game of the season, so I'm sure the Yankees will warm up, but that being said, that was not a fun game for the Yankees.

Respect Jeter's Gangster is for the Children

Every year the Respect Jeter's Gangster blog donates $2 for every homerun hit by the Yankees to the Children's Health Fund as part of their Yankees Homerun Club program.  We encourage you to sign up and do the same!  Whatever amount you can donate will go a long way. 

We will track the homeruns hit by the Yankees in our game reviews.  Yesterday, the Yankees hit none, so the the Children's Health Fund got nothing.  You see Yankees?  Doesn't feel so good does it?

Opening Day!

It is finally upon us!  The day we have all waited for since the final out ended the Yankees season in disappointment back in 2013.  But now it's 2014 and excitement is in the air!  The Yankees have gone through a transformation of sorts through the off-season.  A transformation that we largely ignored here on the blog, but mostly because we had cool things going on in our personal lives, which totally detracted from our signature diatribes against, and on behalf of, the Yankees.  But before we get into that, I wanted to mention that I caught part of the Mariners game against the Angels last night and was able to see Cano play.  He went 2-4 with a double, and ran out a weak grounder to land him safe at first, showing that he does in fact hustle when he needs to.  I wish him all the best in Seattle!

As for the Yankees, we now start the season with a revamped roster.  Beltran, Ellsbury, McCann and Tanaka were some of the bigger off season splashes, but not to be overlooked, we have added Kelly Johnson and Brian Roberts to fill the voids left at 2nd and 3rd base.  We also have Pineda in the rotation to start the season.  So this is a very different Yankees team from what we saw last season, and all I'm saying is that the Yankees better sweep the Astros.  Go Yankees!