Monday, May 12, 2014

Yankees Announce More Number Retirements

Not long after the Yankees announced that Joe Torre, Paul O'Neill, Tino Martinez, and Goose Gossage, would have their numbers retired this season, the Yankees have announced that Scott Brosius, Shane Spencer, and Chili Davis will also have their numbers retired, as the Yankees continue to honor any player whose name fans still remember.

"This is a great day for all New Yorkers," said an overly triumphant Hal Steinbrenner when reached for comment. "Chili Davis was a great champion, as was Brosius. I'm pretty sure Spencer has had some conversations with great champions, and so we just wanted to make sure that we honor important achievements like that."

Steinbrenner explained that every player on a 25-man roster in a year when the Yankees won a championship will eventually have their number retired.

"If you know anything about the Yankees, then you know we never plan for the future," explained Steinbrenner. "We live in the now, and we live in the past. Today, we further cement our commitment to overhyping ourselves—as if that's possible."

3 comments:

Rich Mahogany said...

That's not all. Brosius, Spencer, and Davis will receive golden monuments that, when viewed from the air, will form the image of Luis Sojo.

Fernando Alejandro said...

Don't forget Chuck Knoblauch! So many memories...

Rich Mahogany said...

I demand a 300 foot collossus of Jeff Nelson.