Sunday, December 11, 2011

Matt Kemp Is Pissed Right Now

Beside being arguably undeserving of the NL MVP award from a purely statistical standpoint, Ryan Braun has now tested positive for PEDs. While he embarks on his Floyd Landis Tour of Innocence, the rest of us are left to pick up the pieces. Writers are mad, feeling deceived once again by a very rich man who claimed he could hit baseballs very far and with frequency. It hurts. This is the sports world's version of Occupy Wall Street. Humble writers just scraping out a living being duped and manipulated by those in power. Or at least with power, and speed, maybe a couple other tools if they're lucky. Either way, we're all surprised by this turn of events. Except maybe Braun, he presumably knew he was taking PEDs, unlike A-Rod. There's only one thing we can do at this point: apologize to Matt Kemp for giving an award that probably should've been his to a player with better protection in his line-up and PEDs in his system. Damn. In his own defense, Braun did have this to say: "I'm a computer genius, like the Terminator."

So true.


Aromatherapy oils said...

Los Angeles Dodgers middle fielder He Kemp came tantalizingly near this year to successful a Multiple Title and becoming a member of baseball's scarce 40-40.

Rich Mahogany said...

Whatever. Kemp probably had better numbers because he was on better PEDs.

In seriousness, maybe this will finally be the deal that causes teams to do one of the following:

1. Stop giving out massive "franchise player" deals that can turn into massive headaches if the player gets injured, just doesn't play well, runs a dogfighting ring or injects himself with bull shark testosterone.

2. Keep giving out those contracts, but include ironclad language letting the team void them if the player serves a suspension for PED use.

I presume the players' union would fight option 2 (the guaranteed contract being one of the union's greatest accomplishments) but it would have to concede if MLB were at all smart about it. Braun is doing a lot of harm to the sport and ARod is going to be back in the spotlight as he surpasses more HR milestones. Everyone needs to do some damage control.

Rich Mahogany said...

Note that there is conflicting information as to whether Braun tested positive for a PED or a non-PED "prohibited substance." I think the penalty would be the same either way.

Fernando Alejandro said...

I very much agree with option 2. Its crazy that A-rod was making $32 million for a contract he earned on 'roids. If I was the Yankees I'd be livid!

Though I must say the Bull Shark testosterone does work. Makes you thoroughly infertile, but man can you hit homeruns.

Rich Mahogany said...

The second ARod deal is such a sad joke. It was clear that he only got that kind of money so he could go into the HOF with a Yankee cap and the title of "the Clean HR King." The Steinbrenners must have thought you couldn't put a price on that kind of publicity. Now ARod might have a hard time even making it into the HOF.

Roberto E. Alejandro said...

It's a sad joke if you're the Yankees. It's pretty damn funny if you're A-Rod. Hilarious even. It's a hilarious joke.