Sunday, October 14, 2012

Better Ways to Have Fun in NYC

One of our commenters has noted that, with the way this team is playing, there are better ways to have fun in NYC than going to a Yankees game. I think this is true, and will now offer a list of things that are presently more fun to do in NYC then watch the Yankees:

1. Walk down 7th Ave. toward 42nd St behind a tourist family that has apparently never seen multi-story buildings or lightbulbs. Oh, and make sure you're late for something when you do.

2. Ride the subway and, wait for it, you're in a fight! Complete stranger. Never seen him before. Why is he so mad at you? Fun for everyone on the car!

3. Go rent a car on a week day around 5:30pm, and head anywhere. You'll love the driving experience!

4. Go to a park and watch mothers with toddlers in tow scream obscenities into a cellphone as though no one can see or hear them.

5. Go to a Mets game.

6. Go to any chain restaurant that you regularly visit in a smaller, suburban setting; order the same thing you always do without looking at the menu; and be amazed as you get a bill that is magically 15% higher than what you're used to for no apparent reason!

7. Go to any boutique in Manhattan, take the most hideous thing you see off the rack, and then attempt to buy it. Be amazed as your American Express Black Card gets declined for lack of sufficient credit!

Really, I could go on. All of these things are literally more fun than watching the Yankees whiff with RISP. I spend most of nine innings asking why 90% of the roster was even born. The broader implications for theodicy aside, I hate watching this team right now. But I will watch this team. I very much look forward to 4pm, when I can let everyone on the team know how much they suck.


Cs said...

Lol I love you guys... Game 2 has begun... Lets see how this unfolds. Btw #3- right on

Uncle Mike said...

I was shocked at how true #6 was when I ate at the Ruby Tuesday on Times Square.

But #5 takes the cake -- and burns down the bakery. Must be all that gasoline that Met reliever throw on the fire.

sky said...

it is literally painful to my eyes and heart to watch these yankees turn into what feels like a group of all-stars playing like the staten island yankees. we just hit the playoffs and mentally this group of usually steady veterans is shaking in their cleats whenever theres a runner on second and a middle of the rotation starter/rookie is on the mound. how were going to take on Verlander is beyond me. poor Joe