Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Weekend Recap: No Postseason for You!

The Good

Did anyone notice how clean the uniforms looked at the beginning of the games? Whoever is doing the laundry for these guys is exceptional.

The Bad

Remember when our starters were good? Just kidding they were never good. Except Kuroda and Nova, but now they're both bad. I guess making Phil Hughes our new pitching coach was a bad call.

The Ugly

You know who did have a good series in Boston? Joba. Are you #@$&ing kidding me?! Joba showed up to the Boston series? GTFOH. Also, having the chance to demonstrate some class, Boston decided to roast Mariano Rivera instead. I guess Boston is like school in the summer time, the worst place to be always.

Homers for No Reason

Somebody named Ryan who plays shortstop is the only player on the team who hit a home run this series. Now everyone drink.

Travis Hafner 12hr = $24
Vernon Wells 11hr = $22
Brett Gardner 8hr = $16
Kevin Youkilis 2hr = $4
Jayson Nix 3hr = $6
Robinson Cano 27hr = $54
Ichiro Suzuki 7hr = $14
Lyle Overbay 14hr = $28
Brennan Boesch 3hr = $6
Francisco Cervelli 3hr = $6
Chris Stewart 4hr = $8
Ben Francisco 1hr = $2
David Adams 2hr = $4
Curtis Granderson 6hr = $12
Mark Teixeira 3hr = $6
Zoilo Almonte 1hr = $2
Derek Jeter 1hr = $2
Alfonso Soriano 15hr = $30
Austin Romine 1hr = $2
Eduardo Nunez 1hr = $2
Alex Rodriguez 6hr = $12
Mark Reynolds 4hr = $8
Brendan Ryan 1hr = $2

Total 134 hrs = $268


Rich Mahogany said...

The Mariano roast followed the rule that no Yankee fan can enjoy anything that happens at Fenway. The games have to take forever and/or feature lots of hit Yankees or guys with horrifying beards. Therefore, a tribute to Mariano must include an in-depth analysis of a famous blown save.

It's time to start looking on the bright side of not making the playoffs. At least:

-There was no historic collapse, like Boston two years ago.

-The team will not lose more than 90 games, like Boston one year ago.

-No need to watch the Yankees lose in the Wild Card play-in.

-No need to watch the Yankees lose in the ALDS after half the team suffers compound fractures in the Wild Card play-in.

-No need to read articles about ARod being the devil incarnate after he bats .225 with 0 RBI in the playoffs.

Fernando Alejandro said...

My question is, what will next year look like? I'm all for getting under payroll, but this team also needs a face lift, which it's bound to get given all the players in walk years. I'm just worried we build another team of backup players, and spend the year pretending to have a chance again.

Rich Mahogany said...

There isn't much hope for next year.

The rotation is dicey. Pettitte could retire, and will be deep in rapid decline territory if he returns. If Kuroda signs elsewhere, the rotation gets bad really fast.

The team's big FA acquisition will be Cano. There's not much else out there.

Rivera will be gone. If Robertson becomes the closer, he will no longer be available for the late inning high leverage situations that have made him so valuable.

The minors are barren, unless JR Murphy can take over as catcher.

A last-place finish is a real possibility.