$#!% balls! Derek Jeter has officially announced his retirement after the 2014 season. Like most people, our first thoughts turned to what would happen to this blog. Would we continue to respect Jeter's gangster? Would we have to choose some other Yankee icon, like Beltran, and respect his gangster?
First, let me assure you, the concerned public, that we will continue to respect Jeter's gangster in 2015 and beyond. This will mean changes, however. While you can expect our timely and increasingly less daily coverage to continue, it will probably be focused on upcoming publishing deals, book releases, Oprah Book Club meetings, Oprah Book of the Month announcements, and whatever Ellen does with books now.
It goes without saying that Jeter's announcement, though a complete and utter shock, comes as little surprise. And while that sentence doesn't seem to make any sense, calling into question the very purpose of grammar, we all know exactly what it means. We knew this was coming, we just weren't ready for it.
13 comments:
I hear you. Some things, no matter how expected or inevitable, have to be experienced before they can be understood, like the death of a loved one, or your wife telling you that your neighbor is the father of all your children. Jeter announcing his retirement is just like that, but much more so, ever so much more.
Mr. Mahogany, you are a poet sir.
I believe Derek is retiring so that he will be Hillary Clinton's running mate. Jeter 2016.
I don't know what my life will be without him.
Hillary would be so lucky...
I picture him riding off into the sunset, the sky's colors blending serenely with his Edge in Blazing Copper.
Wow! So much poetry, Rich. We will respect his gangster forever.
He conquered fear and he conquered hate
He turned dark night into day
He made his Pinstriped jersey
a torch... to... light... the... way!
Hey, you said you like poetry.
Gonna pass out! You guys!! Your beautiful words are making me swoon. Oh wait, maybe it's from all that vodka I drank.
Cheers to Jeter and all his studly awesomeness!
To call this poetry is to limit it's impact. This isn't just poetry, this is the evolution of poetry as an idea altogether. Rich, you have elevated humanity.
Not nearly as much as a certain Derek Jeter.
Here are some alternative names for the site if it decides to go in a slightly different direction:
Respect Cervelli's Gangster (Who Sold Him PEDs)
Respect ARod's Lawyer
Respect McCann, Stander (in the Way of Home Plate)
Respect Tanaka's Dreamliner
Respect Sabathia's Hamburger
Respect Gardner's Gardener
And for good measure
Disrespect Cano, Mariner
Hahahaha your list of potential alternate names are tooooo hilarious!
Speaking of Cano,
Here in Seattle area, my Seattlite friends ask: "when Cano hits homeruns, does money fall from his bat?"
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