The Good
The Yankees swept the Os behind a strong 5 inning performance from Andy Pettitte, who allowed only one run. Nick Johnson hit a home run and a double. Nick Swisher hit a home run too, making it a day for Nicks everywhere.
The Bad
Pettitte left the game after 5, having only thrown 77 pitches. He was not particularly sharp today, but it is not clear yet why he left the game. We caught up with Andy to talk about his command after he came out.
"My command was actually good today," explained Pettitte. "It's just that, today, I kind of felt like pitching from the stretch. They'll only let you do that if there are men on base, so I put men on base, and then pitched from the stretch. When Joe found out what I was doing he told me to sit in the clubhouse and think about what I did. I've been thinking about it, and man, it was awesome."
The Ugly
Dave Robertson just wants so badly to live in Scranton again. He came in today and gave up consecutive home runs. I don't really remember who hit them but they were both Orioles so that is not acceptable. Logan didn't pitch pretty, but the difference is this: Robertson doesn't challenge hitters, and he misses over the plate. Logan, despite his fastball, doesn't really challenge hitters, but misses off the plate. As a counter example you have Ace, who got the final out of the ninth. He neither misses, nor fails to challenge hitters, even though his stuff is hardly overpowering. The combination of four different pitches and control, however, make up for that.
Power Has Been Restored
Both Nicks had home runs today. Coincidence? [Ominous music playing]
Posada 5hr = $5
Granderson 2hr = $2
Cano 9hr = $9
Swisher 5hr = $5
Jeter 4hr = $4
Johnson 2hr = $2
Rodriguez 2hr = $2
Teixeira 2hr = $2
Thames 1hr = $1
Gardner 1hr = $1
Winn 1hr = $1
Total = $34
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Cervelli's Resemblance to Actor Becomes Security Problem
Has anyone else noticed that Cervelli looks just like Tom Sizemore? I present for your consideration,
Exhibit A:
Exhibit B:
This stunning resemblance has become a big problem for the Yankees ever since Cervelli became their regular back-up catcher. Tom Sizemore has been sneaking into Yankee Stadium through the player's entrance by impersonating Francisco Cervelli.
"We are currently reviewing security protocals," explained the head of Yankees security. "But it's an honest mistake. Anyone could have confused Tom Sizemore for Cervelli. I mean, he comes dressed in full catchers gear, and he looks like just like the guy. How are we supposed to tell the difference?"
At first the sneaking in wasn't a big problem, but it has since taken an ugly turn.
"The other day I go in for treatment," explained A-Rod, "I'm getting some sports massage and suddenly I look up and Tom Sizemore is massaging me. Then he starts asking me if I'm dating Cameron Diaz and whether I'd take a script to her that he thinks would be the perfect vehicle for both of them. Then he starts reciting lines from Saving Private Ryan, and after each line he goes, 'Scene.' It was really awkward."
Exhibit A:
Exhibit B:
This stunning resemblance has become a big problem for the Yankees ever since Cervelli became their regular back-up catcher. Tom Sizemore has been sneaking into Yankee Stadium through the player's entrance by impersonating Francisco Cervelli.
"We are currently reviewing security protocals," explained the head of Yankees security. "But it's an honest mistake. Anyone could have confused Tom Sizemore for Cervelli. I mean, he comes dressed in full catchers gear, and he looks like just like the guy. How are we supposed to tell the difference?"
At first the sneaking in wasn't a big problem, but it has since taken an ugly turn.
"The other day I go in for treatment," explained A-Rod, "I'm getting some sports massage and suddenly I look up and Tom Sizemore is massaging me. Then he starts asking me if I'm dating Cameron Diaz and whether I'd take a script to her that he thinks would be the perfect vehicle for both of them. Then he starts reciting lines from Saving Private Ryan, and after each line he goes, 'Scene.' It was really awkward."
Yankees Amazing With Half a Minor League Lineup
The Good
AJ Burnett was ridiculous. 7.1 innings with 1 unearned run and 8 strikeouts gave him his 4th win of the season, and simply did not allow the Orioles any hope, dream, or aspiration. Burnett's batterymate, Francisco Cervelli proved why Cashman was a genius by going 3-3 with a triple and 2-runs scored. Cano had a pair of hits, but no one seemed to care.
Gardner stole a base, which puts him in 2nd place in the majors for stolen bases with 12. 1st in the AL.
The Bad
The bottom portion of our lineup was Marcus Thames, Brett Gardner, Francisco Cervelli, and Ramiro Pena. After taking the loss, the Orioles wept.
The Ugly
The weeping continued throughout the night, turning into wailing at times, and even escalating to gnashing of teeth. Jorge Posada happened upon the weeping Orioles, and offered them these consoling words: "You guys suck." The weeping continued.
The RJG Blog's Redemption
The RJG blog is donating one American dollar for every homerun hit by the Yankees this season to the Children's Health Fund. If you are interested in this cause, see the links to the CHF on the top right hand corner of this page.
Last night, Yankees manager Joe Girardi fielded a team that was half the triple A lineup and half the big league lineup. "I just looked at the triple A roster and was looking at mine and I came up with a brilliant idea. What if I just meshed these two lineups together, you know? What if I came up with a hybrid team of mercenary ninjas to protect the world from communism?" Explained Girardi. Though we did not understand the logic it did result in a win. However, it also resulted in zero homeruns, and will now start the rumors of Girardi's disdain for sick children.
Posada 5hr = $5
Granderson 2hr = $2
Cano 9hr = $9
Swisher 3hr = $3
Jeter 4hr = $4
Johnson 1hr = $1
Rodriguez 2hr = $2
Teixeira 2hr = $2
Thames 1hr = $1
Gardner 1hr = $1
Winn 1hr = $1
Total = $31
AJ Burnett was ridiculous. 7.1 innings with 1 unearned run and 8 strikeouts gave him his 4th win of the season, and simply did not allow the Orioles any hope, dream, or aspiration. Burnett's batterymate, Francisco Cervelli proved why Cashman was a genius by going 3-3 with a triple and 2-runs scored. Cano had a pair of hits, but no one seemed to care.
Gardner stole a base, which puts him in 2nd place in the majors for stolen bases with 12. 1st in the AL.
The Bad
The bottom portion of our lineup was Marcus Thames, Brett Gardner, Francisco Cervelli, and Ramiro Pena. After taking the loss, the Orioles wept.
The Ugly
The weeping continued throughout the night, turning into wailing at times, and even escalating to gnashing of teeth. Jorge Posada happened upon the weeping Orioles, and offered them these consoling words: "You guys suck." The weeping continued.
The RJG Blog's Redemption
The RJG blog is donating one American dollar for every homerun hit by the Yankees this season to the Children's Health Fund. If you are interested in this cause, see the links to the CHF on the top right hand corner of this page.
Last night, Yankees manager Joe Girardi fielded a team that was half the triple A lineup and half the big league lineup. "I just looked at the triple A roster and was looking at mine and I came up with a brilliant idea. What if I just meshed these two lineups together, you know? What if I came up with a hybrid team of mercenary ninjas to protect the world from communism?" Explained Girardi. Though we did not understand the logic it did result in a win. However, it also resulted in zero homeruns, and will now start the rumors of Girardi's disdain for sick children.
Posada 5hr = $5
Granderson 2hr = $2
Cano 9hr = $9
Swisher 3hr = $3
Jeter 4hr = $4
Johnson 1hr = $1
Rodriguez 2hr = $2
Teixeira 2hr = $2
Thames 1hr = $1
Gardner 1hr = $1
Winn 1hr = $1
Total = $31
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
It's Okay, He's Only Been on the Team for 15 Years
Earlier today, the NY Post had this image and article headline on its Yankees news page:
Then, it was changed to this:
Whoops. Not like he's been around for a while, won five championships, and is one of our Core Four or anything. Otherwise that would be embarrassing. I guess the Post should stop letting Jan Brewer write their headlines. I'm sure they're all named Pedro to her.
9:45pm Update:
For some reason, later in the day, the Post decided that going with last names would be easier:
Then, it was changed to this:
Whoops. Not like he's been around for a while, won five championships, and is one of our Core Four or anything. Otherwise that would be embarrassing. I guess the Post should stop letting Jan Brewer write their headlines. I'm sure they're all named Pedro to her.
9:45pm Update:
For some reason, later in the day, the Post decided that going with last names would be easier:
Yanks Take Opener from Os, Posada Allergic to Guthrie
The Good
Sabathia threw 8 innings of one-run ball. Randy Winn remembered he was a major leaguer and hit a three-run home run. No batters were harmed in the making of this Jeremy Guthrie start.
The Bad
One batter was harmed in the making of this Jeremy Guthrie start. Posada left the game after the fifth with a strained calf. How the calf got into Yankee Stadium is still a mystery, but the renowned animal lover, Posada, wanted to make sure it got back to its family.
The Ugly
While Sabathia left this start in a much brighter mood than his last against the Orioles, he blatantly disrespected the game in the seventh when he tried to show up home-plate umpire, Bill Hohn.
Sabathia, frustrated with the strike zone, threw his arms in the air, yelled something, walked up to Hohn and demonstrated how one calls a strike, then he drew an imaginary box with his throwing hand where the strike zone should be and told Hohn that when a pitch is in that box, he needed to call a strike as Sabathia had just demonstrated. Sabathia then stood in the batters box glaring at the hitter, just to show him up too. Then, when Girardi came out to calm him down, he grabbed Girardi's cap and used all 6'7" of him to play keep away. This lasted for five minutes.
"I don't care about baseball," explained Sabathia after the game. "I care that my money gets paid to me via direct deposit and that I get the chance to talk to all my friends on opposing teams. That's why I play."
This edition of 'The Ugly' brought to you by Tracy Ringolsby
Wow, Your Stance Is Weird
Despite a fairly awkward looking batting stance, Randy Winn managed to hit a three-run bomb, totally taking the wind out of the sails of the hapless (save when they play the BoSox) Orioles.
Posada 5hr = $5
Granderson 2hr = $2
Cano 9hr = $9
Swisher 3hr = $3
Jeter 4hr = $4
Johnson 1hr = $1
Rodriguez 2hr = $2
Teixeira 2hr = $2
Thames 1hr = $1
Gardner 1hr = $1
Winn 1hr = $1
Total = $31
Sabathia threw 8 innings of one-run ball. Randy Winn remembered he was a major leaguer and hit a three-run home run. No batters were harmed in the making of this Jeremy Guthrie start.
The Bad
One batter was harmed in the making of this Jeremy Guthrie start. Posada left the game after the fifth with a strained calf. How the calf got into Yankee Stadium is still a mystery, but the renowned animal lover, Posada, wanted to make sure it got back to its family.
The Ugly
While Sabathia left this start in a much brighter mood than his last against the Orioles, he blatantly disrespected the game in the seventh when he tried to show up home-plate umpire, Bill Hohn.
Sabathia, frustrated with the strike zone, threw his arms in the air, yelled something, walked up to Hohn and demonstrated how one calls a strike, then he drew an imaginary box with his throwing hand where the strike zone should be and told Hohn that when a pitch is in that box, he needed to call a strike as Sabathia had just demonstrated. Sabathia then stood in the batters box glaring at the hitter, just to show him up too. Then, when Girardi came out to calm him down, he grabbed Girardi's cap and used all 6'7" of him to play keep away. This lasted for five minutes.
"I don't care about baseball," explained Sabathia after the game. "I care that my money gets paid to me via direct deposit and that I get the chance to talk to all my friends on opposing teams. That's why I play."
This edition of 'The Ugly' brought to you by Tracy Ringolsby
Wow, Your Stance Is Weird
Despite a fairly awkward looking batting stance, Randy Winn managed to hit a three-run bomb, totally taking the wind out of the sails of the hapless (save when they play the BoSox) Orioles.
Posada 5hr = $5
Granderson 2hr = $2
Cano 9hr = $9
Swisher 3hr = $3
Jeter 4hr = $4
Johnson 1hr = $1
Rodriguez 2hr = $2
Teixeira 2hr = $2
Thames 1hr = $1
Gardner 1hr = $1
Winn 1hr = $1
Total = $31
Monday, May 3, 2010
The Os are Back
Seems odd to do another series preview when we just played these guys, but here goes. The Yanks will be facing Guthrie, Matusz and Hernandez while they send CC, AJ, and Pettitte to the mound. Guthrie has a history of hitting our guys and most recently caused Posada to miss time when he hit him in the knee. So the big question before tonight's game is, if he hits someone do you rush the mound? Intentional or not, he can't keep hitting our guys. Alternatively, does the first Orioles hitter, or perhaps Wigginton whenever he first comes up, immediately get one in the ribs just so that it is clear we won't be having anymore of Guthrie's control issues?
The Os are coming off a series sweep of the BoSox, which is symbolically significant but not actually significant since the Sox are about as good as Javy is dominant this year. The Yanks are also coming off a sweep of the White Sox, since Javy's starts no longer count. Both teams are riding winning streaks then, and the next three games will determine nothing since the Os aren't serious contenders anyway. The biggest story of this series, besides Guthrie, will be whether the Yanks will skip Javy on Friday. Expect most coverage to center on that instead of what actually happens in these next three games.
The Os are coming off a series sweep of the BoSox, which is symbolically significant but not actually significant since the Sox are about as good as Javy is dominant this year. The Yanks are also coming off a sweep of the White Sox, since Javy's starts no longer count. Both teams are riding winning streaks then, and the next three games will determine nothing since the Os aren't serious contenders anyway. The biggest story of this series, besides Guthrie, will be whether the Yanks will skip Javy on Friday. Expect most coverage to center on that instead of what actually happens in these next three games.
A Word from Our GM
With the first month of the season already behind us, we thought it was time to once again place a call to our favorite GM, Brian Cashman. The following is a transcript of our conversation:
BC: Hello?
RJG: Well, if it isn't Bronn Bronn the Cash Machine. How's it hangin'?
BC: Please stop asking me that.
RJG: It's not anymore, is it? Oh well, it happens with age. So, the Yanks have played well, but two of your biggest moves, Javy and Nick Johnson, have not. Also, Granderson is now out for at least a month. How do you plan to address these flaws?
BC: Well, it's a little early to give up on Johnson. I fully expect Johnson to turn it around. The Granderson situation is unfortunate, but better to get the injuries out of the way early. We have the weapons to keep us going until they get back.
RJG: Hmm. Vazquez was conspicuously absent from your answer. What will you do about him?
BC: Well, we plan to . . .
RJG: Because he's been awful.
BC: Yes, well we are try . . .
RJG: Really awful.
BC: Can I fini. . .
RJG: Your face awful.
BC: That's not necessary.
RJG: Isn't it?
BC: Look, we're currently considering all options, but mostly we need to get Javy back on track. He has a track record. A record. In track. That has to count for something.
RJG: No, it literally counts for nothing. Javy is a classic case of what have you done for me lately . . . or since the 2004 ALCS.
BC: Yeah, we can't get rid of the guy because fans are still bitter about 2004.
RJG: Uh-huh. Why don't you just trade him?
BC: His value is not exactly at peak right now.
RJG: I don't give a $#!%. Just trade him far far away. Isn't Rasner pitching in Japan right now? Trade him to Japan for Rasner.
BC: We're not trading Javy for Rasner. Why would you even want Rasner back?
RJG: What the hell does Rasner have to do with anything?
BC: You brought him up.
RJG: I most certainly did not! I will not stand for such accusations and demand you apologize.
BC: I'm not apologizing.
RJG: It's not all about you, Bronny.
[Click]
There you have it folks. The Yanks expect Johnson to turn it around, Granderson to come back healthy, and will continue to try to work with Javy for the time being.
BC: Hello?
RJG: Well, if it isn't Bronn Bronn the Cash Machine. How's it hangin'?
BC: Please stop asking me that.
RJG: It's not anymore, is it? Oh well, it happens with age. So, the Yanks have played well, but two of your biggest moves, Javy and Nick Johnson, have not. Also, Granderson is now out for at least a month. How do you plan to address these flaws?
BC: Well, it's a little early to give up on Johnson. I fully expect Johnson to turn it around. The Granderson situation is unfortunate, but better to get the injuries out of the way early. We have the weapons to keep us going until they get back.
RJG: Hmm. Vazquez was conspicuously absent from your answer. What will you do about him?
BC: Well, we plan to . . .
RJG: Because he's been awful.
BC: Yes, well we are try . . .
RJG: Really awful.
BC: Can I fini. . .
RJG: Your face awful.
BC: That's not necessary.
RJG: Isn't it?
BC: Look, we're currently considering all options, but mostly we need to get Javy back on track. He has a track record. A record. In track. That has to count for something.
RJG: No, it literally counts for nothing. Javy is a classic case of what have you done for me lately . . . or since the 2004 ALCS.
BC: Yeah, we can't get rid of the guy because fans are still bitter about 2004.
RJG: Uh-huh. Why don't you just trade him?
BC: His value is not exactly at peak right now.
RJG: I don't give a $#!%. Just trade him far far away. Isn't Rasner pitching in Japan right now? Trade him to Japan for Rasner.
BC: We're not trading Javy for Rasner. Why would you even want Rasner back?
RJG: What the hell does Rasner have to do with anything?
BC: You brought him up.
RJG: I most certainly did not! I will not stand for such accusations and demand you apologize.
BC: I'm not apologizing.
RJG: It's not all about you, Bronny.
[Click]
There you have it folks. The Yanks expect Johnson to turn it around, Granderson to come back healthy, and will continue to try to work with Javy for the time being.
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Yankees Take Rubber Match
The Good
Phil Hughes pitched an incredible game, shutting out the White Sox over seven innings. Cano hit a three run home run, Swisher had a two run home run, and Gardner hit a home run. Even Johnson managed to hit an RBI double in the 7th. Teixeira had 4 hits. Crazy.
The Bad
Pena went 0 for 5, with an error. Pretty much the worst part of this game was the performance of our back-up infielder. Melancon's ninth wasn't pretty, but he shouldn't have been out for another inning anyway. We also went into that inning up by 12, so I just don't care.
The Ugly
Buehrle's performance was not pretty. After he came out in the fifth, RJG caught up with him to find out what went wrong.
"The other day, I was watching this great pitching video," explained Buehrle. "It's called, 'How to Pitch in the Majors, with Javier Vazquez.' I studied every aspect of that video, but for some reason it's just not working out. Maybe I'm doing it wrong, but I copied it exactly. It's just dumbfounding."
The Air Show
As I said before, Gardner, Cano, and Swish all had home runs today. Swisher dedicated his performance to Maya Angelou, an inspiration to us all.
Posada 5hr = $5
Granderson 2hr = $2
Cano 9hr = $9
Swisher 3hr = $3
Jeter 4hr = $4
Johnson 1hr = $1
Rodriguez 2hr = $2
Teixeira 2hr = $2
Thames 1hr = $1
Gardner 1hr = $1
Total = $30
Phil Hughes pitched an incredible game, shutting out the White Sox over seven innings. Cano hit a three run home run, Swisher had a two run home run, and Gardner hit a home run. Even Johnson managed to hit an RBI double in the 7th. Teixeira had 4 hits. Crazy.
The Bad
Pena went 0 for 5, with an error. Pretty much the worst part of this game was the performance of our back-up infielder. Melancon's ninth wasn't pretty, but he shouldn't have been out for another inning anyway. We also went into that inning up by 12, so I just don't care.
The Ugly
Buehrle's performance was not pretty. After he came out in the fifth, RJG caught up with him to find out what went wrong.
"The other day, I was watching this great pitching video," explained Buehrle. "It's called, 'How to Pitch in the Majors, with Javier Vazquez.' I studied every aspect of that video, but for some reason it's just not working out. Maybe I'm doing it wrong, but I copied it exactly. It's just dumbfounding."
The Air Show
As I said before, Gardner, Cano, and Swish all had home runs today. Swisher dedicated his performance to Maya Angelou, an inspiration to us all.
Posada 5hr = $5
Granderson 2hr = $2
Cano 9hr = $9
Swisher 3hr = $3
Jeter 4hr = $4
Johnson 1hr = $1
Rodriguez 2hr = $2
Teixeira 2hr = $2
Thames 1hr = $1
Gardner 1hr = $1
Total = $30
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Vazquez Pitches, 'Nuff Said
The Good
The offense scored six runs. Mitre pitched well in relief. Andrew Marchand of ESPN asked whether the Yankees should skip Vazquez when they go to Boston. He chose my response as the best, my proudest Twitter moment. . . and moment in general.
The Bad
Javy pitched, which is always bad. Dave Robertson is pitching like he misses his friends in AAA, and Marte is pitching like he wants the Yankees to invent another injury and put him on the DL again.
The Ugly
After Javy left the game in the fourth, RJG caught up with him to discuss his struggles so far. Javy was surprisingly open about his performance.
"I know I haven't pitched well," said Javy. "But I'm still adjusting to the American League. In the NL you get to face pitchers, and the Padres. Here, you only pitch to the best. Also, hitters in the AL aren't blindfolded, which has cut down my strikeouts. It doesn't help that you can't call do-over in the AL either. And in the NL, any pitch that reaches the catcher is called a strike, but here they call balls as well as strikes, which is a little unfair. It just makes for a different game."
The False Hope
Swisher hit a go-ahead home run in the sixth. David Robertson and Damaso Marte were both jealous, because they don't get to hit, so they worked hard to give up the lead.
Posada 5hr = $5
Granderson 2hr = $2
Cano 8hr = $8
Swisher 2hr = $2
Jeter 4hr = $4
Johnson 1hr = $1
Rodriguez 2hr = $2
Teixeira 2hr = $2
Thames 1hr = $1
Total = $27
The offense scored six runs. Mitre pitched well in relief. Andrew Marchand of ESPN asked whether the Yankees should skip Vazquez when they go to Boston. He chose my response as the best, my proudest Twitter moment. . . and moment in general.
The Bad
Javy pitched, which is always bad. Dave Robertson is pitching like he misses his friends in AAA, and Marte is pitching like he wants the Yankees to invent another injury and put him on the DL again.
The Ugly
After Javy left the game in the fourth, RJG caught up with him to discuss his struggles so far. Javy was surprisingly open about his performance.
"I know I haven't pitched well," said Javy. "But I'm still adjusting to the American League. In the NL you get to face pitchers, and the Padres. Here, you only pitch to the best. Also, hitters in the AL aren't blindfolded, which has cut down my strikeouts. It doesn't help that you can't call do-over in the AL either. And in the NL, any pitch that reaches the catcher is called a strike, but here they call balls as well as strikes, which is a little unfair. It just makes for a different game."
The False Hope
Swisher hit a go-ahead home run in the sixth. David Robertson and Damaso Marte were both jealous, because they don't get to hit, so they worked hard to give up the lead.
Posada 5hr = $5
Granderson 2hr = $2
Cano 8hr = $8
Swisher 2hr = $2
Jeter 4hr = $4
Johnson 1hr = $1
Rodriguez 2hr = $2
Teixeira 2hr = $2
Thames 1hr = $1
Total = $27
Jeter Rakes While Pettitte Limits the Damage
The Good
Though he allowed four runs in the first two innings, Pettitte limited the damage and gave his team a chance to win. Jeter had three hits and four RBI, including a game-tying home run and a go-ahead triple. Mo closed the game out, throwing only three pitches in the ninth.
The Bad
The first two innings were bad.
The Ugly
After Jeter hit a go-ahead triple, he went and sat in the Chicago dugout. When asked what he was doing there, he responded, "This is my house, b----!" The White Sox wept. Collectively. As an organization.
O'Jeter Rules!
Jeter was the only player with a home run last night. His blast tied him for number 1 on the all time home runs by players named Derek Jeter list.
Posada 5hr = $5
Granderson 2hr = $2
Cano 8hr = $8
Swisher 2hr = $2
Jeter 4hr = $4
Johnson 1hr = $1
Rodriguez 2hr = $2
Teixeira 2hr = $2
Thames 1hr = $1
Total = $27
Though he allowed four runs in the first two innings, Pettitte limited the damage and gave his team a chance to win. Jeter had three hits and four RBI, including a game-tying home run and a go-ahead triple. Mo closed the game out, throwing only three pitches in the ninth.
The Bad
The first two innings were bad.
The Ugly
After Jeter hit a go-ahead triple, he went and sat in the Chicago dugout. When asked what he was doing there, he responded, "This is my house, b----!" The White Sox wept. Collectively. As an organization.
O'Jeter Rules!
Jeter was the only player with a home run last night. His blast tied him for number 1 on the all time home runs by players named Derek Jeter list.
Posada 5hr = $5
Granderson 2hr = $2
Cano 8hr = $8
Swisher 2hr = $2
Jeter 4hr = $4
Johnson 1hr = $1
Rodriguez 2hr = $2
Teixeira 2hr = $2
Thames 1hr = $1
Total = $27
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