Has anyone else noticed that Cervelli looks just like Tom Sizemore? I present for your consideration,
This stunning resemblance has become a big problem for the Yankees ever since Cervelli became their regular back-up catcher. Tom Sizemore has been sneaking into Yankee Stadium through the player's entrance by impersonating Francisco Cervelli.
"We are currently reviewing security protocals," explained the head of Yankees security. "But it's an honest mistake. Anyone could have confused Tom Sizemore for Cervelli. I mean, he comes dressed in full catchers gear, and he looks like just like the guy. How are we supposed to tell the difference?"
At first the sneaking in wasn't a big problem, but it has since taken an ugly turn.
"The other day I go in for treatment," explained A-Rod, "I'm getting some sports massage and suddenly I look up and Tom Sizemore is massaging me. Then he starts asking me if I'm dating Cameron Diaz and whether I'd take a script to her that he thinks would be the perfect vehicle for both of them. Then he starts reciting lines from Saving Private Ryan, and after each line he goes, 'Scene.' It was really awkward."