Saturday, June 7, 2014

RJG to Retire After 2014 Season

It's been a fun ride, but eventually the carny makes you get off and throw up somewheres else. Jerk.  After a great deal of deliberation and discussion (one conversation), the RJG team has decided it is time to call it a day. After the 2014 season, we will officially retire the blog, no longer able to keep up with the grueling demands of year-round, made-up baseball coverage.

As my brother and I have advanced in our careers (we're still paid the same amount and have the same titles, but we're expected to do more work), it has become harder to update the blog regularly. Besides, they keep installing these new and improved filters to our workplace intranets that don't allow us access to Yankees related web-content, making it far harder for us to keep up with the team. Without the ability, or the energy, to keep the blog updated as regularly as we used to, we've come to the realization that it is time to close up shop and move on.

We wrestled with when exactly to make this announcement, fearing its consequences for the long-term health of the internet and that it might detract from Derek Jeter's own impending retirement. But it would be selfish not to give the world the chance to honor us with expensive gifts and tributes for the next 4-5 months, depending on whether the Yankees see any playoff action.

You may be thinking, 'But guys, I budgeted all my tribute money for Derek's gift!' That's a fair concern, but #$&@ Derek Jeter, he can afford his own gifts. We can't even maintain a blog, we clearly need the financial generosity more than he does.

I can only assume that at this point, the tears streaming down your face have rendered this impossible to read. Good. We've been making you laugh for six years, you owe us at least an uncontrollable fit of grief. And we expect all five stages. No. Not expect. Demand. We demand all five stages.

It's been an amazing ride, and we've appreciated that so many of you have shared along in our alternate Yankees universe where Brian Cashman is a madman, Phil Hughes the next Rush Limbaugh, and Shane Spencer has a plaque in Monument Park. Thank you so much for humoring us these past six years, and honoring us with your readership and comments. It really motivated us to keep going, to keep trying to be funny and inventive for you. Until recently anyways when we kind of gave up. Sorry about that. But you should probably blame yourselves and not us, at least until you've bought our farewell gift.

We also want to send a special shout out to all those who over the years have commented vigorously, only to abruptly leave us. You crushed our dreams and our will to live. Thank you for that. It doesn't sting at all.


Tigs said...

Whatever. You'll change your mind.

Tigs said...

You think you'll quit!? I'll show you what quitting looks like!!! Exclamation!!!!!

Tigs said...

How about just until Bronny Cash retires/gets shitcanned? You know you won't want to miss that.

Tigs said...

Sniff, sniff. Whatever shall I do? Wherever shall I go to be reminded that the yankees are for the children? Wailinggggg. Gnashing of teeth!

Tigs said...

Best of luck, guys! It's been great, I've enjoyed reading for years. Please link to other venues of your work.
I look forward to your final analyses, and hope that Jeter's gangster is serious as he too closes shop.

Fernando Alejandro said...

Hahaha, thanks for the kind words Tigs! It's been really fun to write the blog, but we feel like it's just the right time to let it go. We're hoping for a good final season to close everything out, and we'll definitely link to anything we turn to in the future. Thanks for reading all this time Tigs!

Rich Mahogany said...

I know that my declining comment rate is the real reason you guys aren't posting so much. Jobs, responsibilities, these things are just words. Comments are immortality.

It's appropriate that RJG is going out much like Jeter himself. First, develop an impeccable reputation through outstanding performance. Second, announce retirement early in the season, averting rampant speculation. Last, stumble through the season with grim determination while showing occasional flashes of the brilliance of yesteryear.

Korean Cartman said...

Noooooooooo!!!!!!! Really?! RJG, I am playing my Jedi mind trick on you right now to change your mind!! (Is it working?)

Fernando Alejandro said...

That's more or less the goal Rich! Haha. Hopefully, the flashes will come more often, but no promises. We're busy, and comedic brilliance takes spontaneity, which busyness is suddenly sapping.

And sorry Korean Cartman. Jedi Mind Tricks don't work on us. We're like Java the Hut, only far less creepy....hopefully.