Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Derek Jeter's Agent Working Hard

According to reports, Hal Steinbrenner has spoken with Jeter's agents "a couple times" since last week. This is good news as it suggests that the Yankees are still considering Derek Jeter for the open shortstop position, left vacant by veteran shortstop, Derek Jeter. Now the big question/concern about Derek Jeter is in light of last seasons paltry offensive numbers, what would a long term contract spell for Jeter? But the even bigger concern for most fans is that watching Jeter grow old, makes us feel vulnerable. Don't you remember when Jeter was that skinny, baby-faced rookie? He's now a better built baby-faced veteran, and that sort of thing freaks us out. Think about it. How many of us have aged as gracefully as Derek Jeter? How many of us have put on as much muscle? Maintained our youthful good looks or won a gold glove in our mid-thirties? None of us! We've all gotten fat, ugly, and boring. And now, if Jeter was to start declining in his late thirties, what does that mean for us who already started our declines in our mid-twenties? It means we're screwed. And that's what we fear. But fear not! Jeter will eventually decline, but barring a freak injury that knocks him out all season, I can assure you that next year will be a huge bounce back year for him. How do I know, you ask? Why don't you mind your own business, I respond.


Harry Potter said...

Here's a Perfect Solution.
Let's hire Edward the vampire to turn Derek into a vampire and we'll never have to witness his decline.

Fernando Alejandro said...

Or, we could hire Derek Jeter to murder Edward the vampire, just so we won't be dragged to any more Twilight movies by the women in our lives. I wonder if Minka ever forces Jeter to take her to watch these movies.