The Straight to DVD Trade

Yesterday, Brian Cashman traded first baseman Juan Miranda to Arizona for pitching prospect Scott Allen. This isn't the blockbuster move we're all waiting for, but things are moving, and things are happening to at least hold us over for the Cliff Lee signing. Some of you may not know Scott Allen. We sure didn't. But as always the RJG set out on a fact finding mission to provide you, the readers, all the facts, without bias, or unnecessary opinion, just pure unadulterated facts.

Speaking with some Yankees scouts, we were able to uncover some valuable information.

"Scott Allen can throw. A ball." Said one scout speaking on condition of anonymity. "He can throw it in the general vicinity of the strike zone, and he can do it from 60 feet 6 inches away."

When told that he just described every pitcher in the league, the scout explained further.

"Well you know, this kid is special. He can throw a ball, at about 90 mph. Sometimes he misses bats, sometimes he doesn't. He can pitch, but he can't hit."

When told that he still just described every pitcher in the league, the scout expanded his scope.

"You see, this kid, Scott Allen, can throw at least two pitches, and one of them is a fastball. My scouting reports indicate that he is not a knuckleballer, though I'll have to cross check my notes with other scouts to be sure of that."

When asked if he even knows who Scott Allen is, the scout answered:

"No. I can't even spell Scott Allen."

In conclusion, Scott Allen is a pitcher, who can throw a ball at a relatively competetive level. We at the RJG wish you the best Scott Allen.