Saturday, June 29, 2013

RJG Speaks to Brian Cashman, Attempts to Calm Him Down

As it has been some time since we've spoken, it could only be assumed on our part that Brian Cashman's recent outbursts were a function of missing us. We fired up the old satellite phone (the phone is new, but the satellite is uses is kind of old), and called everybody's favorite maritime sailor/GM to find out what was going on. The following is a transcript of our conversation:

BC: Hello?

RJG: Hey Bronny! What the #@*% is wrong with you?

BC: Why don't you shut the #@*% up?

RJG: I would, but I need to find out why you're so #@*%ed up first.

BC: I'm not sure what you're #@*%ing referring to.

RJG: Your inexplicable #@*%ing need to say #@*% all the time.

BC: I don't say #@*% all the time.

RJG: You've said #@*% at least eight $@*%ing times since you answered the phone.

BC: Get the #@*% outta here.

RJG: I'm #@*%ing serious. Is it A-Rod? #@*% him.

BC: I don't think so. But yeah, #@*% him.

RJG: Maybe you're surrounding yourself with too many #@*%ing people who say #@*% a lot.

BC: I can't think of anyone I #@*%ing know who would fit that description.

RJG: You do live in New York #@*%ing city. People say #@*% a lot there.

BC: Really? I never #@*%ing noticed that.

RJG: Me neither. But these #@*%ing out-of-towners swear we New Yorkers say #@*% all the time!

BC: Nobody #@*%ing talks like that here.

RJG: Preaching to the #@*%ing choir, brother.

BC: I guess it's a #@*%ing mystery then.

RJG: Guess #@*%ing so.

BC: Bye.

RJG: Bye


Well, there you have it folks. There is no reasonable explanation for Bronny Cash's recent use of profanity before the press. It's probably stress or something.


Tigs said...

#@*% that guy.

Anonymous said...

Indeed, #@*% him. On another note, #@*%ing Yankees!