The Good
Before the game there was a buzz throughout the clubhouse. Nick Swisher had arrived with his new pet rock, named Charlie. Nobody else had one and everyone wanted to hold it.
The Bad
The pet rock proved to be a bit of a distraction. No one paid any attention whatsoever during the pregame review of the scouting reports. Everyone was too focused on what they would name their pet rock once they got their parents to buy one for them.
The Ugly
The Yankees many missed opportunities from last night are the story of the game in the liberal corporate controlled right wing media, but we dug deeper for you, our beloved readers.
Jeter at one point grounded out with the go ahead run at third. Many attribute this to Jeter's season long struggles at the plate. Jeter had a different take, however. "Who the f@%k names their pet rock, Charlie? That's so awesome. When I went up there, with the go-ahead run on third, all I could think about was, 'What color should my pet rock be and what should I name it?'"
After a follow up question, Jeter responded, "I decided to name it Ferdinand Piscopo, combining my favorite assassinated Hapsburg with my favorite 80s era celebrity."
Our Level of Compassion Is Worse Than the Mets
No home runs last night. No extra dollars for the kids. For shame.
Posada 17hr = $34
Granderson 17hr = $34
Cano 26hr = $52
Swisher 26hr = $52
Jeter 10hr = $20
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 22hr = $44
Teixeira 30hr = $60
Thames 11hr = $22
Gardner 5hr = $10
Winn 1hr = $2
Miranda 3hr = $6
Curtis 1hr = $2
Kearns 2hr = $4
Nunez 1hr = $2
Total = $348
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