Sunday, February 20, 2011

What's Happening?

Has the media grown bored with A-Rod? The guy shows up to Spring Training lighter than usual and all I come across are articles about Jeter's road to 3,000. Two years ago I would've been reading about suspicions of an eating disorder and how his relationship with some starlet is the cause of the weight loss. We've already had an incredibly boring Winter, I don't want an entire Spring of boring baseball related coverage too. These guys just do drills for weeks, have one fun day, and then play games whose box scores I will still read, but not study diligently. I expect more from you, news media.


Rich Mahogany said...

Here, I'll write an article about ARod for you.


by Rich Mahogany, NY Post Beat Writer

Possibly inspired by his wafer-thin celebrity girlfriend Cameron Diaz, and perhaps wearing women's underwear to boot, Alex Rodriguez showed up to camp today looking positively waifish.

"Obviously I had no way to tell what kind of underwear he was wearing, as I only viewed him from 50 feet away while he was working out on the field, but with ARod, who knows!" said a local vagrant shortly before security escorted him from Legends Field. "After all, this is the same guy who ate popcorn during the Super Bowl."

Team personnel could not quantify ARod's weight loss or confirm whether it is a side effect of his break with long-running steroid use (or use of a new, undetectable performance enhancer shuttled into the country by ARod's sleazy cousin Yuri).

Only ARod.

Anonymous said...

How many days for opening day?

Roberto E. Alejandro said...

According to the Daily News we're 37 days away still.

Great stuff, Rich. I'd expect a call from Rupert Murdoch sometime soon.