Wednesday, July 11, 2012

AL Loses Again

Yesterday was the all-star game and as we all know, the all-star game is the pinnacle of all sports experiences.  But yesterdays game continued a disturbing trend.  The American League has lost its third consecutive all-star game to the National League after years of AL dominance.  What has brought this about?  Well, after months of intensive journalism, the RJG has discovered the answer.

"The National League is different than the American League."  Explained one major league executive with knowledge on the matter.  "Since the AL has designated hitters, and we have pitchers hitting, a decision was made to balance this problem.  It was decided that steroids would be legal in the NL but not in the AL.  I mean haven't you noticed?  A-Rod, David Ortiz, Manny Ramirez, they're all known PED users and what do they have in common?  They're all in the American League!  They never catch National League steroid users."

But when asked about Ryan Braun the exec had this to say: "Braun wasn't using steroids, he was injecting himself with Derek Jeter's Driven cologne.  That's cheating."

So there you have it, the reason for the National League's dominance in the last 3 years is all thanks to steroids, and Jeter's line of cologne.


Anonymous said...

Ah, RJG at its best!

Rich Mahogany said...

In other news, Ryan Braun smells great!

Fernando Alejandro said...

Haha, he smells like winner!