Tuesday, July 3, 2012

No Long Ball No Win

The Good

Freddy Garcia made his comeback start, and he did pretty good.  Lasting 5.1 innings and giving up 2 runs on a night where he could only throw 75 pitches (he threw 74) isn't so bad.  Jayson Nix, who I thought was a country singer, apparently plays for our team, and went 1-3 with a stolen base last night. 

The Bad

Mark Teixeira had a costly error that put the Rays ahead, but Robertson fell behind the pinch hitter and gave up the hit that tied the game setting Teixeira up for his failure.  At the end of the game, Robertson and Teixeira were arguing who blew the game.  Teixeira was adament that it was him, but Robertson was just as convinced that it was him.  As they argued, Granderson stepped in, and said "No guys.  I'm the one to blame."  And he was right...

The Ugly

Granderson went 0-3 with two strikeouts yesterday, and this is significant because Granderson leads our team in homeruns.  As anyone who's watched the Yankees this year knows, the Yankees only win games they hit homeruns in.  No homeruns, no win, Granderson's to blame.

You've Died of Dysentery

That was the message a doctor had to give a child because the Yankees refused to provide the homeruns that provide the funds that provide health.  Of course this all happened in an Oregon Trail game, but isn't Oregon Trail just a metaphor for life?  No homeruns = No Wins = No Money for the children.

Raul Ibanez 11hr = $22
Nick Swisher 12hr = $24
Andruw Jones 7hr = $14
Derek Jeter 7hr = $14
Curtis Granderson 23hr = $46
Alex Rodriguez 13hr = $26
Robinson Cano 20hr = $40
Mark Teixeira 13hr = $26
Eric Chavez 6hr = $12
Russell Martin 8hr = $16
Jayson Nix 2hr = $4
Dewayne Wise 2hr = $4
Total 118hr = $248


Rich Mahogany said...

Oregon Trail is indeed a metaphor for life, which is why I played as a banker and paid an Indian to guide me across all the rivers.

Fernando Alejandro said...

I always played as the doctor, and ate vegetables as to not contract dysentary.

Rich Mahogany said...

I would shoot dozens of bears, even though I could not carry even one bear's worth of meat back to the wagon.

Anonymous said...

Really guys?

Rich Mahogany said...

Yes, Anonymous! I suppose you'll claim you played as a farmer, always forded the river and made it to Oregon with your entire family alive. And I will say, prove it!

Rob B said...

I'm still waiting for the post about the first win in TB in nearly a year. C'mon guys! Teixeira gave you gold with his comments about vitamin D deficiency. Where's the story?

Anonymous said...

Farmer, Rich? I was the Master of the Universe, or was it one of the Avengers? I can't recall anymore.