Sunday, September 2, 2012

Yanks Drop Important Series to Os

The Good

The Yankees get to hobble to Baltimore later this week and take on the healthier, younger Os again, so that's really #$&*ing great!

The Bad

Curtis Granderson was added to the list of injured Yankees. Our starting line-up is now Derek Jeter, and a series of guys with names like 'Boxcar Joe'. In fact, our starting line-up looks more like the first list of cuts from Spring Training camp than it does a major league line-up, but that's cool.

The Ugly

After losing the rubber match, Hughes stood in front of his locker next to an empty chair. As the beat guys approached, we could sense something weird was about to happen. Then Hughes spoke.

"You might be wondering what a New York baseball tradesman is doing here," began Hughes. It was a strange opening remark. We were in the Yankees clubhouse after a baseball game. The only thing we were expecting to see were baseball tradesmen.

"I have the president here, and I'm going to ask him a few questions," continued Hughes.

"Can you ask him why you can't keep the ball in the park?" replied one beat writer.

Hughes did not appreciate the comment. His face formed into a frown and, for a moment, it seemed as though he might cry.

Then he cried.

We left.

Why Come We Hit Homers and No Win Games?

Granderson, Cano, and Dickerson all contributed to the children in this series. Granderson even went and got hurt so he could better relate to them.

Raul Ibanez 15hr = $30
Nick Swisher 20hr = $40
Andruw Jones 13hr = $26
Derek Jeter 14hr = $28
Curtis Granderson 34hr = $68
Alex Rodriguez 15hr = $30
Robinson Cano 28hr = $56
Mark Teixeira 23hr = $46
Eric Chavez 13hr = $26
Russell Martin 14hr = $28
Jayson Nix 5hr = $10
Dewayne Wise 3hr = $6
Chris Stewart 1hr = $2
Ichiro Suzuki 3hr = $6
Casey McGehee 1hr = $2

Total 202 hr = $404


Rich Mahogany said...

Terrible. However, I hear Boxcar Joe has some interesting views on redistribution of wealth.

Roberto E. Alejandro said...

Yeah, but his tendency to explain them loudly to an empty chair is more creepy than enlightening.

Rich Mahogany said...

Boxcar Joe is an artist!

Roberto E. Alejandro said...

a bullshit artist.