Monday, September 17, 2012

Yanks Regain First Place with Series Win over Rays

The Good

Sole possession of first place is good, as was Ivan Nova in his first game back. The offense is scoring a respectable amount of runs as well.

The Bad

Sabathia's command issues are pretty bad. At this point he's trending away from inconsistent and toward unreliable. That is not good.

The Ugly

Phil Hughes gets antsy when he's not being interviewed between his starts. Reports of an interview given by his favorite Supreme Court justice forced the normally not reticent enough Hughes to become even less reticent, barging in on the beat corp's attempt to discuss the game with Hiroki Kuroda.

"Yeah, yeah, we won," began an exasperated Hughes. "But let's get to the real business. This past week we lost a game to Baltimore because an activist ump decided to rewrite the rules of what 'safe' and 'out' mean. We need more conservative umps who will interpret the rules as the founders intended. We need umps who are more like Justice Clarence Thomas, calling balls and strikes. You see, Justice Thomas understands that the phrase 'we the people' in the Constitution didn't include Blacks, and he's made sure to side with his fellow conservatives in any number of decisions to make sure that this original intention of the constitutional framers is preserved."

As a group, we weren't really sure what to do with this. But before we could even think to ask Curtis Granderson for his take on this, one of the reporters spoke up.

"Wasn't it John Roberts who claimed to be just calling balls and strikes?"

A rush of red came over Hughes's face. His eyes welled up.

"You promised never to mention his name again!"

We had promised no such thing. But before we could inform Hughes of this fact, the wells spilled over and he ran off.

Another one of our number spoke.

"Is anybody else unsettled by the fact that this isn't even weird anymore?"

The silence was deafening.

Home Runs for Healing

Granderson had two home runs in this series. Rodriguez, Nunez, and Martin each had one. That's another $10 for the kids.

Raul Ibanez 15hr = $30
Nick Swisher 20hr = $40
Andruw Jones 13hr = $26
Derek Jeter 15hr = $30
Curtis Granderson 39hr = $78
Alex Rodriguez 18hr = $36
Robinson Cano 30hr = $60
Mark Teixeira 23hr = $46
Eric Chavez 13hr = $26
Russell Martin 17hr = $34
Jayson Nix 5hr = $10
Dewayne Wise 3hr = $6
Chris Stewart 1hr = $2
Ichiro Suzuki 3hr = $6
Casey McGehee 1hr = $2
Steve Pearce 1hr = $2
Eduardo Nunez 1 hr = $2

Total 218 hr = $436


Rich Mahogany said...

Hughes shows great courage with his pitching and willingness to spout ignorant and idiotic statements. That is until he runs away crying! Slam!

Roberto E. Alejandro said...

I guess weeping is not purely a Spring Training phenomenon.

Rich Mahogany said...

Weeping has become a proud Yankee tradition. Weeping should get its own plaque in Monument Park.

Roberto E. Alejandro said...

If you look closely at the George Steinbrenner statue, he's weeping.