Sunday, December 20, 2009

The Yankees' Next Move

With Nick Johnson now in the fold, the Yankees will presumably move on to signing another starting pitcher. The top two candidates appear to be Ben Sheets and Justin Duscherer, two former aces coming back from injuries. A third name that has been floated is Kelvim Escobar, who may be more risky as he is attempting to return from shoulder surgery, versus elbow surgeries for Sheets and Duscherer. Duscherer also suffered from clinical depression.

My brother and I were discussing this last night, and I mentioned that I'm not sure the Yankees should sign a pitcher whose first syllable of their last name is Dusch (read: douche). Can you imagine the chants when he doesn't pitch well? Hell, even the roll call will be embarrassing. Besides, what will the NY Post do to him. He already has a history with depression.

Then we realized something. The Yanks need to sign Duscherer. The first syllable of his last name is Dusch. Think of the potential for RJG posts. Signing Dusch to the rotation is certifiable gold for a blog like ours. The Yanks must sign Dusch at any and all costs.

If Dusch goes shopping, we can say, "What's in Dusch's bag?" If he throws a few wild pitches, we'd go with "Dusch's wild." It's perfect. It's more than perfect, it is all the planets aligning for the Yankees to do us all a favor. Sign this kid. Quick.


Rich Mahogany said...

We could have a team with Dusch, Johnson and Wang, not to mention ARod. How do you like them apples.

Roberto E. Alejandro said...

Man, this day keeps getting better. I hope Bronny is reading this. He can't pass up on an opportunity like this.