Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Just Like Old Times

The Good

A walk-off win in the ninth is always good. Marcus Thames had a playground moment: bottom of the ninth, two outs . . . okay the bases weren't loaded and it wasn't the World Series, but still. A-Rod homered off Papelbon to tie the game with one out in the ninth. Then Thames homered to end the game, earning the whipped cream pie he received from AJ Burnett.

The Bad

Phil Hughes barely got out of the fifth. If not for a catch in foul territory by Teixeira that is best described as a modern day miracle, Hughes may not have even thrown enough innings to qualify for the win. Hughes managed to get two quick outs in the fifth, then just couldn't put away any of the next three hitters. His ERA is now a monstrous 2.25. Girardi was mum on whether he would be skipped his next turn in the rotation.

The Ugly

Marcus Thames is deathly allergic to whipped cream. All dairy really. But particularly whipped cream.

"I told these guys the first day of Spring Training," explained Thames after having an epipen administered. "I love your walk-off celebrations, but I'm allergic to dairy, especially whipped cream. You cannot hit me with one of those pies should I ever hit a walk-off."

In the clubhouse, Burnett did not seem to appreciate exactly what the big deal was. "I'm not an idiot," said Burnett. "I know he's allergic to whipped cream, that's why I used low fat. If he's allergic to low fat too, he should have said something."

Told that Thames' allergy was to dairy, regardless of fat content, Burnett retorted, "Now you're just making $#!% up. Is that what this is about? Huh? You want me to feel bad? Maybe cry a little? Just cry in my milk? Maybe I shouldn't have milk in the clubhouse either. Is Thames allergic to that, smart a--?!"

At this point, all of us in the press corp figured it would be better just to leave.

I Believe The Children Are Our Future

Remember when Eddie Murphy sang that song in Coming to America? Classic. We already mentioned that Thames and Rodriguez hit home runs last night, but did you know that nobody else did? Bet you didn't know that.

Posada 6hr = $12
Granderson 2hr = $4
Cano 9hr = $18
Swisher 7hr = $14
Jeter 4hr = $8
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 5hr = $10
Teixeira 7hr = $14
Thames 2hr = $4
Gardner 2hr = $4
Winn 1hr = $2
Total = $94


Rich Mahogany said...

Reports that Thames is also deathly allergic to right-handed pitching have been greatly exaggerated.

Roberto E. Alejandro said...

Very true. What is it with these former Detroit players and hitting Papelbon? Craziness.

Uncle Mike said...

Surely there's a proper substitute for whipped cream. If you're going to be a Yankee, you have to be prepared for the consequences of big wins -- whether you're the pie-smackee or the pie-smacker. Burnett's supposedly smart enough to figure this out, and it's time to do so.

Rich Mahogany said...

With their payroll I'd think the Yankees could afford proper pies during walkoffs, rather than these sorry whipped cream concoctions. Perhaps the next walkoff could feature a strawberry rhubarb pie, or maybe pumpkin.

It's a good thing Nick Johnson didn't get a walkoff hit. He is allergic to all physical contact.

Roberto E. Alejandro said...

Honestly, if NJ had hit the walk-off hit, the entire coaching staff would've been restraining Burnett.

I like the idea of real pies, except for the problem of the unpredictability of walk-off wins. You'd have to have fresh pies shipped in every home game, just in case. Also, I feel hesitant to waste a perfectly good strawberry rhubarb or pumpkin pie. Especially being deprived of both here in the UK. I think the Yankees should just ship me pies for every home game, that would be fair.

lady gaganonymous said...

Nick Johnson would have gotten some horrible eye infection from the pie if he had a walkoff hit, somehow.

That was... a game. From laughable blowout to nailbiter to crushing defeat to unbelievably glorious victory. Baseball is awesome.

Roberto E. Alejandro said...

"Baseball is awesome." Indeed.

Rich Mahogany said...

Kim Jones tweets that Nick Johnson broke his clavicle reading this post and will be out for the next two seasons.

Anonymous said...

Well, I called Tex and ARod (finally) going back to back, but I called 2 bombs and a walkoff.
When do you suppose Pablum is going to the Nats?


Rich Mahogany said...

Maybe this year. The Nats released Bruney and need bullpen help.

I'd love to see Papelbon's reaction if that actually happened.

Anonymous said...

What a ninth inning! Baseball is the best sport ever created in the history of humanity.

Dylan Murphy said...

I think they should just take a quarter of a real pie. Then they could use that quarter to stuff in the walk off hitters face, and celebrate by eating the rest.

Rich Mahogany said...

Maybe they could use a pizza pie.

Roberto E. Alejandro said...

Pizza's a good choice, but the scalding may be a bit of a problem.

Nathan said...

Slightly off-topic. Looks like Hanley Ramirez might be looking for a new home...would you guys take him or want to see him taken (of course, not as SS but in another role)

Rob B said...

It's not only former Detroiters that hit Papelbum. How about Garder! 4-4 with 2 walks.

And a big no to Hanley Ramirez. Number one, where would he play? The only place available is the outfield. No way is he taking Jeter's spot, and I wouldn't give up any of the other infielders for him.


limo hire said...
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