Friday, July 2, 2010

Yanks Win Consolation Prize, Barely

The Good

A-Rod continued his quest for another 30 home run season, crushing the game winner off of some pitcher on the Mariners. CC went 8 strong, allowing only 2 runs. Mo closed the game with three pitches.

The Bad

The Yanks now turn their fragile one game winning streak over to AJ Burnett. We're screwed.

The Ugly

After the game, CC was really upset about giving up those two runs in the bottom of the eighth.

"I really wanted to get the game over with," explained CC. "I had tickets to Twilight: Eclipse, but I wasn't able to get out of here in time. Are Bella and Edward going to get married? Is Jacob going to mess it all up for them? He's so ripped. No way Edward can compete with that! It's not fair! True love never wins! Now I have to wait until tomorrow to find out. Stupid two runs!"

Hearing the 6'7" Sabathia say that was the creepiest experience of our intrepid reporter's life. He is now on indefinite medical leave.

The Bombers Explode Like a BP Oil Rig

Mad With Power Cano hit a home run in the 4th, and only then did he give A-Rod permission to hit a home run at some point in the game. He did not, however, give A-Rod permission to hit a two-run home run. Tensions are pretty high in that clubhouse right now. Oh, and don't forget to make a donation to the CHF for our raffle, or I'll spoil the ending to Twilight: Eclipse in my next post.

Posada 9hr = $18
Granderson 7hr = $14
Cano 16hr = $32
Swisher 13hr = $26
Jeter 8hr = $16
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 12hr = $24
Teixeira 13hr = $26
Thames 2hr = $4
Gardner 3hr = $6
Winn 1hr = $2
Miranda 2hr = $4
Total = $176

2 comments:

Dylan Murphy said...

The best part was A-Rod thinking he hit a walk-off. Steroids are getting to his math skills.

Roberto E. Alejandro said...

It's just that he wanted to get out of there as soon as possible before Cano could get a hold of him.