Monday, April 11, 2011

Russell Martin Talks Off-Season Training Regimen

It has been reported that Russell Martin undertook an MMA style training regimen in order to condition himself prior to the season. While he said the training regimen focused largely on endurance aspects of MMA training, we at RJG knew better. Martin is a catcher. He literally sits on his @$$ for a living. He wasn't doing MMA training for endurance. We went for the real story.

"Okay, it wasn't about endurance," admitted a reluctant Martin. "I was going to retire from baseball and become a street fighter. I started training. Hard. I was kicking. Punching. Grappling. My knee was in a cast and I was grappling. But then I was like, 'Ok, I'm ready to learn to shoot a fireball out of my hands.' My trainer was like, 'WTF are you talking about?' And I'm all 'WTF? Really? You're going to go with the acronym? Okay. I want to learn how to shoot a fireball out of my hands for street fighting purposes.' The trainer told me it wasn't possible and I was like, 'But I'm going to get my @$$ handed to me if I can't shoot fireballs out of my hands!' That was the end of my street fighting career. The only benefit of the training was the endurance. I sit on my @$$ for a living. It was a complete waste of #$%&@* time."

4 comments:

Rich Mahogany said...

On the plus side, Martin now has a mean spinning pile driver.

Fernando Alejandro said...

That could come in handy during collisions at the plate.

Solberg said...

Though throwing someone out at second with a hadouken might be cool

Roberto E. Alejandro said...

or just hitting someone at second with a hadouken would be cool. a whole new way to check the runner.