Wednesday, January 15, 2014

A-Rod's Best Friend Retires from Game in Protest

Former Oakland Athletic Dallas Braden, who once interrupted a game in order to catch up with Alex Rodriguez, an old friend, has retired from Major League Baseball. While many reports are citing recurring shoulder issues, the timing of the retirement announcement strongly suggests that the former starting pitcher has retired in protest of Major League Baseball's treatment of Alex Rodriguez, and the unprecedented suspension handed down by Frederick Horowitz.

An expert in unwritten rules, Mr. Braden released the following statement indicating that his decision may have been more influenced by the written ones:

After many fruitful years as a Major League ballplayer, I have decided now is the right time to jump ship, before MLB ends guaranteed contracts for players and begins allowing arbitrators hand picked by the league to determine player salaries based on something as fluid and constantly shifting as on-field performance.

Shortly after announcing his retirement, Mr. Braden was served with process by one of Alex Rodriguez's attorneys. Mr. Braden is being sued for his failure to speak out publicly sooner in defense of his life-long best friend forever Alex Rodriguez.

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