Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Jay-Z is Better than Kanye

The Good

Sabathia pitched 8 innings of 2 run ball without his best stuff. "I didn't have my slider early on in the game, and later on, I lost my screwball." Explained Sabathia. "Then I remembered that I never threw a screwball, so it wasn't really lost. Didn't stop me from throwing it though. Good thing Adam Dunn can't hit a screwball."

Granderson had a pair of doubles and drove in a run.

The Bad

Mariano didn't have his best stuff either. He just had his stuff. However, his stuff is still on par with advanced alien technology. The kind of advanced alien technology that stacked rocks on top of one another to build the stonehenge.

The Ugly

I really feel bad for Adam Dunn. He's batting .162 right now. And we were concerned about Posada as our DH.

No Such Luck

For the kids. No homeruns in last night's game means no donations for the Children's Health Fund. Maybe the Yankees will show that they care tonight.

Mark Teixeira 29hr = $58
Curtis Granderson 28hr = $56
Russell Martin 10hr = $20
Alex Rodriguez 13hr = $26
Jorge Posada 9hr = $18
Robinson Cano 16hr = $32
Andruw Jones 6hr = $12
Brett Gardner 4hr = $8
Nick Swisher 14hr = $28
Derek Jeter 4hr = $8
Francisco Cervelli 1hr = $2
Eduardo Nunez 3hr = $6
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Total = $276

6 comments:

Uncle Mike said...

Jay-Z is better than Kanye, or at least has enough class not to make a Schilling of himself during the presentation of someone else's award on national television. But what does the title have to do with what's in the post?

I read a blog a moment ago that suggest that Mariano Rivera is God. Now I read this one and it suggests that he's a member of an advanced alien race. I wish my fellow Yankee Fans would get together and come up with a consistent party line!

Then again, it doesn't matter if the fans are consistent -- only if the team is, and it is. Look out, you classless Boston chavs, here we come!

Rich Mahogany said...

At this rate, CC might not demand only hugs and high-fives in his new contract after all. He might also demand hundreds of millions of dollars.

Fernando Alejandro said...

The title was all a metaphor where Jay-Z represents New York and Kanye represents Chicago. Here at the RJG, we even do poetry!

As for the party line, I think Mariano, a devout Christian, would take issue with being referred to as God. Therefore, he would endorse our party line of him being part of an advanced alien race. Yankee bloggers, get in line!

Rich, I agree, and the Yankees will give it to him. He's probably thanking his lucky stars he got that opt out clause worked into the contract.

Rich Mahogany said...

Assuming CC opts out and the Yankees re-sign him, next year the Yankees will have three players who they signed after opting out: CC, ARod and Burnett. (I'm assuming Soriano won't opt out.) Off the top of my head, I can't think of any other players who have exercised an opt out on any team. The Yankees really need to cool it with signing players who opt out.

Roberto E. Alejandro said...

In fairness, Burnett opted out of Toronto. He's since won a World Series while members of the Jays have since watched the World Series from the comfort of their overpriced homes.

anonymous #2 said...

Very clever post title.