Wednesday, March 28, 2012

RJG Speaks With The Cash Man

Every now and again, we here at RJG call up old friend of the blog, Brian Cashman, to get his personal insight into the current state of the Yankees. With the rotation decision less than a week away, and meaningful baseball not far behind, we thought it time to check in once more with the heralded--by stalkers, but still--GM. The following is a transcript of our conversation.

BC: Yes, Bronny speaking?

RJG: You're calling yourself that now?

BC: No! Pfff, as if! Whatever, man.

RJG: That was weird. Anyway, about the rotation.

BC: I can't keep explaining to you guys how day turns to night.

RJG: I'm not talking about that rotation, though I wish you'd just admit that your little 'theory' is nothing more than a scientific hoax. I'm talking about the starting staff for O-twelve.

BC: I can't really discuss that right now. There's just too much going on.

RJG: Oh, cause Joba got hurt?

BC: No, not that.

RJG: That's the only thing going on.

BC: I have other things on my mind right now, things you wouldn't understand.

RJG: Try me.

BC: Alright, but pay attention and try to keep up. You know the movie, Star Wars?

RJG: Yeah.

BC: Okay, you know when the Millennium Falcon first docks in the Death Star hangar bay, after getting pulled in by the tractor beam?

RJG: Yeah.

BC: They send two storm troopers to check the ship, which they find empty then leave. That's when Han Solo and company pop out of the secret compartments he uses for smuggling.

RJG: Why is this troubling you?

BC: Because, next they send two guys with scanning equipment who presumably get housed. Then, you hear Han ask the two storm troopers guarding the ship for some assistance. The troopers run up, you hear a laser shot, and next thing you know, Han and Luke exit the Falcon in the uniforms of the aforementioned storm troopers.

RJG: So?

BC: So?! So what happens to the four people they just disposed of?! Were these bodies decomposing in secret compartments for a remaining two and a half movies?! When Lando got to pilot the Falcon, in Jedi, was he sitting around like, 'What the #$%&@ is that smell?' I feel like this is a major hole in the plot!

RJG: This doesn't seem to have anything to do with the plot at all.

BC: Have you even seen, Star Wars?

RJG: Yes! Pfff, as if! Whatever, man.

BC: That's what I thought.

RJG: Well your personal life is all over the news.

BC: Well you're talking to yourself.


RJG: Whataya mean I'm talking to myself? Hello? Bronny? &@*% it!

There you have it folks, the Yankees feel good about their rotation for the upcoming season.

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