The Truth About Robertson's Injury

David Robertson has injured his foot. He claims he sustained the injury while carrying empty boxes down some stairs and slipping, but we at RJG know better.

You see, when you're a pro athlete, you're not allowed to do $#!%. In fact, you are contractually obligated to not do $#!%. So when Robertson says, "I was carrying empty boxes that were empty and weighed almost nothing and slipped exactly just one step and sustained a trip to the DL necessitating injury", what he means is:

"So I'm in my house at the top of the stairs, and I says to myself I says, 'I think that I can clear these steps if I jump off from here.' So I jump and I totally cleared the steps. But then I thinks to myself I think, 'Beginner's luck. Let's see if you can do it again!' So I dos it again and I clear all the steps. But I'm not thrilled about my level of clearance on this second jump, so I tries again. I really jumped the hell out of those steps on that last try, but I landed kind of hard and broke my foot on some boxes that were full of bricks. I thought they would cushion my landing better is what I thought. Not so much."