Thursday, June 21, 2012

Losing Streak Reaches Two Games

The Good

Hughes refuses to put to rest the debate about his effectiveness as a starter, giving us something to talk about. Thanks, Hughes! Jeter, Chavez, Rodriguez, and Cano all hit home runs.

The Bad

Hughes gave up six runs in less than five innings. That's over a run an inning. Math, people. Math.

The Ugly

After the game, sensing a depressed mood in the clubhouse, team Captain, Derek Jeter stood up in the middle of the clubhouse and gave a stirring speech, firing up the troops.

"We lost today," began Jeter to a somber clubhouse. "Hell, we lost yesterday. But that doesn't mean we can't be winners. We can all be winners when we check out my website, When you go there you can see my new Edge. I got mine in Blazing Copper. Watch as I blaze my copper everywhere I go. Oh, what's that?! It's blazing! Oh man, is that copper?! Yep. Blazing Copper. Trademark #*@&$, don't be going around saying that. So just remember, we can still be winners. But just to be clear, I'm already a winner. Blazing Copper out."

Needless to say, the applause was rousing.

The Love You Take Is Equal to the Love You Make

The Yankees seem to be unaware that we're in a recession. Look, we're happy to donate our money to charity, but did they really need to hit four home runs in a losing effort? Four? WTF? $8 more. That's WTF!

Raul Ibanez 10hr = $20
Nick Swisher 10hr = $20
Andruw Jones 6hr = $12
Derek Jeter 7hr = $14
Curtis Granderson 21hr = $42
Alex Rodriguez 11hr = $22
Robinson Cano 14hr = $28
Mark Teixeira 12hr = $24
Eric Chavez 4hr = $8
Russell Martin 8hr = $16
Jayson Nix 2hr = $4

Total 105hr = $210


Rich Mahogany said...

Jeter's HOF plaque will be forged from Blazing Copper.

Steve said...

yes but it will have a Ford logo on it. Jeter will be the first to show his allure last longer than his playing days. My grandchildren will go to the Hall Of Fame and look at that Blazzing Copper plaque and think, I want a Ford. while other people will look at Whitey Fords plaque and think, What kind of car would Jeter want?

Rich Mahogany said...

Whitey Ford would have been a great spokesman for Ford.