Saturday, June 23, 2012

Yanks and Mets Split First Two Games

The Good

On Saturday, the Yankees won, hitting two home runs in a seventh inning rally that would determine the game.

The Bad

On Friday, the Yankees lost. They let Frank Francisco close them out in the ninth, after he called them chickens. Also bad, the Yanks now face R.A. Dickey in the rubber match. Definitely not good.

The Ugly

After Friday night's loss, there was a lot of heated discussion around the Yankees clubhouse. The players seemed upset, distracted. Something had set them off. Speaking to reporters, Granderson explained what was so upsetting.

"Have you ever seen that movie 'Bee Movie' with Jerry Seinfeld?" asked Granderson to a perplexed group of beat reporters. "Basically, the moral of that movie is that exploited labor populations really need their jobs and poor working conditions, lest they get lazy and have no reason to live. These populations want these jobs, they want them. We need not question the modes of production that produce our cheap wares because deep down, exploited laborers really love and appreciate these jobs, even if, in their ingratitude, they don't always realize it. What kind of message is that to kids? Is it any wonder the reports of working conditions at Foxconn received such a collective shrug? As union laborers, we are all disgusted with this film. It also features bees that can communicate with humans, which is bull$#!%."

Needless to say, the beat reporters were taken aback. They love 'Bee Movie' and would never want to upset the valuable partners behind the affordably produced quality wares whose advertisements fund the newspaper industry.

Producing for the Kids

The Yankees have hit five home runs over the course of the last two games. I guess no one told them how difficult it is to drive the ball out of CitiField. $10 more for the kids.

Raul Ibanez 11hr = $22
Nick Swisher 10hr = $20
Andruw Jones 7hr = $14
Derek Jeter 7hr = $14
Curtis Granderson 21hr = $42
Alex Rodriguez 12hr = $24
Robinson Cano 15hr = $30
Mark Teixeira 12hr = $24
Eric Chavez 5hr = $10
Russell Martin 8hr = $16
Jayson Nix 2hr = $4

Total 110hr = $220


Rich Mahogany said...

Curtis Granderson is very articulate. For a white supremacist.

Roberto E. Alejandro said...

Immigrants keep trying to steal his job. It's tough.