Thursday, August 2, 2012

Yanks Drop Another Series to a Division Rival

The Good

The Yankees crushed the Os on Sunday, making us wonder where that offense was the first two games. Our ability to imagine is what separates us from the animals, so we were all reminded of our shared human dignity.

The Bad

The Yankees dropped another series. Also, after scoring five runs in the first against Chris Tillman on Saturday, Tillman turned into Nolan Ryan, circa whenever Nolan Ryan was dominating with an inside fastball. No one knows how the transformation occurred, but it did.

The Ugly

The Yankees have lost 9 of their last 12 and have lost two series in a row to a division rival. Then, today, long time New York resident Kofi Annan announced that he is resigning as U.N. Special Envoy to Syria. Some, including Annan, claim that his resignation follows the utter inaction on the part of the global community to address the violence of the Assad regime, but we at RJG know that he is simply fed up with the Yankees' utter reliance on home runs and current losing tendencies, and has resigned in protest. Thanks a lot Yankees, you just destroyed Syria.

We Still Hit Some Home Runs

Two home runs from Cano and 1 from Granderson over the last couple games. $6 more for the kids.

Raul Ibanez 14hr = $28
Nick Swisher 14hr = $28
Andruw Jones 12hr = $24
Derek Jeter 8hr = $16
Curtis Granderson 29hr = $58
Alex Rodriguez 15hr = $30
Robinson Cano 24hr = $48
Mark Teixeira 20hr = $40
Eric Chavez 9hr = $18
Russell Martin 12hr = $24
Jayson Nix 4hr = $8
Dewayne Wise 3hr = $6
Chris Stewart 1hr = $2
Ichiro Suzuki 1 hr = $2

Total 166hr = $332


Rich Mahogany said...

At least the Yankees were able to destroy something, for a change.

Fernando Alejandro said...

Besides our hopes and dreams of course.

Rich Mahogany said...

And their division lead.