Monday, August 6, 2012

Yanks Take Weekend Series from Seattle

The Good

The Yanks took the weekend series from cross-country foe Seattle, finally getting some payback for being knocked out of the playoffs by them in 1995. It was a long time coming, and while most of the roster hadn't been born in 1995, historical memories die hard around this team.

The Bad

The middle game against King Felix Hernandez was frustrating. The Yankees were completely dominated by Hernandez, only to find out after the game that his patents of nobility had been forged and that he wasn't actually royalty. Immigration officials are said to be investigating and the U.N. has revoked King Felix's diplomatic status. More on this as it develops.

The Ugly

After the Yankees took the series, and revenge, team spokesman Curtis Granderson spoke to members of the media about his new favorite movie.

"Have any of you seen that movie with the picaninny surrounded by wild animals who says black things like 'I'm da man'? $#%& you white America."

More Home Runs than You Can Shake a Stick At

Or not. Only two home runs in this series, one each from Ibanez and Chavez, Eric not Hugo.

Raul Ibanez 15hr = $30
Nick Swisher 14hr = $28
Andruw Jones 12hr = $24
Derek Jeter 8hr = $16
Curtis Granderson 29hr = $58
Alex Rodriguez 15hr = $30
Robinson Cano 24hr = $48
Mark Teixeira 20hr = $40
Eric Chavez 10hr = $20
Russell Martin 12hr = $24
Jayson Nix 4hr = $8
Dewayne Wise 3hr = $6
Chris Stewart 1hr = $2
Ichiro Suzuki 1 hr = $2

Total 168hr = $336


Rich Mahogany said...

I like Granderson's comments. They add spice to the team. Wait, was that racist? He really makes me think.

Roberto E. Alejandro said...

Granderson makes us all think . . . at least when he's not being a white supremacist.