Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Yanks Take Second Game Behind Kuroda Gem

The Good

The Yanks took another game from best team of all time, Texas, behind a strong pitching performance by Hiroki Kuroda and some back to back power from Swish and Tex.

The Bad

As they have all season long, the Yankees scored 100% of their runs by home runs, proving once again that they can't hack it in the postseason.

The Ugly

When the Rangers returned to the visiting clubhouse, they found a gift-wrapped box in the center of the room. Upon opening it, gasps could be heard as the players realized what was inside.

"It's and old baseball message," explained one veteran Ranger as he pulled out the content of the box, a wooden broom. "The Yankees are trying to sweep us."

Shortly thereafter a Yankee Stadium staff member entered, took the broom and the gift-wrapped box, and chided the Rangers for ruining long-time Yankee Stadium janitor Mike 'Sweepy' Logan's surprise birthday gift.

Who gets a janitor a broom for their birthday? That's #$&%@* up.

We'll Probably Get Audited

I don't think anyone's ever claimed a charitable contributions exemption like the one we're piling up. Two more home runs means 4$ more for the kids.

Raul Ibanez 15hr = $30
Nick Swisher 16hr = $32
Andruw Jones 12hr = $24
Derek Jeter 9hr = $18
Curtis Granderson 30hr = $60
Alex Rodriguez 15hr = $30
Robinson Cano 25hr = $50
Mark Teixeira 23hr = $46
Eric Chavez 13hr = $26
Russell Martin 12hr = $24
Jayson Nix 4hr = $8
Dewayne Wise 3hr = $6
Chris Stewart 1hr = $2
Ichiro Suzuki 1hr = $2
Casey McGehee 1hr = $2

Total 180hr = $360


Rich Mahogany said...

Cleaning the dugout must be one of America's worst jobs.

Roberto E. Alejandro said...

It certainly has the highest suicide rate, by far.