Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Yanks Drop Two to Tigers

The Good

With Pettitte's September return quickly approaching, the race to the bottom between Ivan Nova, Phil Hughes, and Freddy Garcia is in full-swing. This gives the games an all important element of drama.

The Bad

The Yanks are not playing well right now. In fact, they're bad. Yeah, they took a series from Seattle, but who doesn't? The only reason Seattle's record is so bad is because they don't get to play Seattle. Between the inconsistent young pitchers and the inconsistent old hitters, there has to be some pause about this team as the postseason approaches.

The Ugly

Phil Hughes swears he was ready to pitch last night, and through three innings that appeared to be the case. But then, something changed.

"I went into the clubhouse after the third inning and the TV was on. I saw this campaign ad and was like, 'oh $#!%'. Did you know President Obama ended the work requirement for welfare? I mean, doesn't the President know that the reason people are poor and need welfare is because they're lazy and refuse to work?! It's like, the job creators create jobs but people just go on welfare instead! I couldn't concentrate after that."

Girardi announced after the game that political ads would no longer be allowed in the clubhouse during games.

These Losses Are Still Costing Us

Eric Chavez homered last night, making sure the kids didn't go home empty handed. Sure, the kids would have preferred a win, but they get $2 instead.

Raul Ibanez 15hr = $30
Nick Swisher 14hr = $28
Andruw Jones 12hr = $24
Derek Jeter 8hr = $16
Curtis Granderson 29hr = $58
Alex Rodriguez 15hr = $30
Robinson Cano 24hr = $48
Mark Teixeira 20hr = $40
Eric Chavez 11hr = $22
Russell Martin 12hr = $24
Jayson Nix 4hr = $8
Dewayne Wise 3hr = $6
Chris Stewart 1hr = $2
Ichiro Suzuki 1 hr = $2

Total 169hr = $338


Rich Mahogany said...

First Girardi fails to fire up his team, and then he violates its First Amendment rights! I think the Supreme Court specifically ruled that political ads must be permitted in the dugout.

Roberto E. Alejandro said...

Girardi's clubhouse operates outside the jurisdiction of the Supreme Court and Federal law, much like Mitt Romney's taxes. Zing!

Rich Mahogany said...

So that is why the Yankees' clubhouse is known as the Cayman Islands of baseball.

Roberto E. Alejandro said...

That and they keep the temperature in there pretty toasty.