Sunday, August 12, 2012

Yanks Take Weekend Series From Toronto

The Good

The Yankees took two of three games, and scored twenty-two runs in the process. The race to the bottom continues, with Nova seeming to pitch his way out of contention. I think it is fair to say that Hughes securely holds the lead. For now. . .

The Bad

Hughes gave up six runs in one inning. Why? Why has he betrayed us? These questions haunt my sleep.

The Ugly

Phil Hughes imploded for the second start in a row. Last time out, he had been disturbed by a change in national welfare policy. This time?

"Oh man," began an oddly excited Hughes, "I haven't been able to sleep since I heard the news! First Mitt was all like, we need to demean poor people's work ethic since we all know poverty is a choice and now Paul Ryan's on the ticket?! Now poor people will have to work because welfare is definitely gone. And social security, medicare, medicaid, and pell grants. But mostly, poor people are lazy."

Told Romney/Ryan would first have to win the election, Hughes did not appreciate the dose of realism, leading to this exchange:

Hughes: I'm not going to let you take this away from me. No. I feel real good right now and I'm not going to let this feeling get away.

Reporter 1: Like you let today's game get away?

Reporter 2: Ouch.

Derek Jeter: Burn.

Hughes: [Tear rolling down cheek] This interview is over!

Interesting Fact

Though the Yankees scored twenty-two runs over the weekend, they only hit four home runs. One would have expected a number more like fifteen, but no, only four. One each from Teixeira, McGehee, Jeter, and Cano.

Raul Ibanez 15hr = $30
Nick Swisher 14hr = $28
Andruw Jones 12hr = $24
Derek Jeter 9hr = $18
Curtis Granderson 30hr = $60
Alex Rodriguez 15hr = $30
Robinson Cano 25hr = $50
Mark Teixeira 22hr = $44
Eric Chavez 12hr = $24
Russell Martin 12hr = $24
Jayson Nix 4hr = $8
Dewayne Wise 3hr = $6
Chris Stewart 1hr = $2
Ichiro Suzuki 1hr = $2
Casey McGehee 1hr = $2

Total 176hr = $352


Rich Mahogany said...

For Hughes, a smaller government apparently means a larger ERA. The answer to his pitching problems is therefore more government, not less. Consider that Mr. Hughes.

Roberto E. Alejandro said...

He refuses to speak to you, Mr. Mahogany. He's insulated like that.