Let's start with the bad news:
A-Rod is still on the team and will probably rehab his hip and will probably be an inconsistent player in the middle of our line-up by August.
Now the good news:
The Yanks are on the verge of signing Travis Hafner. Who? That's right! Travis #$*&ing Hafner! 'Too good to be true,' you say? 'The commissioner's office will never allow it,' you gasp? 'Could the heavens be so bountiful?' you exclaim, letting yourself hope, if only momentarily? Well believe it. Travis Hafner will soon be a Yankee. Now all your friends in Cleveland will finally have cause for jealous hatred. What's that? You have Nick Swisher? Is Nick Swisher Travis #$*&ing Hafner? Didn't think so. Suck it Cleveland. We win. We finally win.