Now that Joba Chamberlain and Kevin Youkilis are best friends, we can only assume they have embarked on a series of adventures together, of which the following is a fair representation:
[Youk and Joba cruise down the street in Youkilis's Mercedes CL63 AMG, bobbing their heads to the latest offering from Mumford & Sons]
Joba: You know, I just realized something.
Joba: We are not a good looking pair.
Youk: No. We're not. We're never going to pick up any chicks. Not even in this car.
Joba: Aren't you married?
Youk: Not to you mom.
Joba: Fair enough. Man, I wish Jeter was here!
Youk: It would make picking up chicks easier, he's so gangster.
Joba: Where have I heard that before?
Youk: Probably from your face.
Youk: Repeating it doesn't diminish the confusion. Are you making up words now?
Joba: You don't know what 'mierda' means? How long have you been playing professional baseball? It means $#!%, but in Spanish. That way if someone's puritanically transcribing our conversation for a blog or something like that, my curse words still slip through.
Joba: Yeah, man! It's so great. If you swear in Spanish when the camera is on you during games, the seven second delay guy doesn't even know to move to a different shot, so it goes out live over the air?
Youk: So you just spend the entire game hanging out in the bullpen, swearing in Spanish?
Youk: You know there's no live shots of the bullpen, at least not from the inside. They only do that in the dugout.
[after a moment of stunned silence]
Joba: Is that true?
Joba: I've alienated Mariano Rivera for no reason.
Youk: He's very religious.