Monday, February 25, 2013

The Granderson Injury and Its Implications

Curtis Granderson has broken his forearm. Actually, scratch that. Curtis Granderson had his forearm broken in what can only be described as a brazen crime (hate crime? Probably). Regardless, the Yankees have some key decisions to make.

First, who will serve as the pro-union antithesis to Phil Hughes' anachronistic far right conservatism? Is Zoilo Almonte really ready for that role? He doesn't even have a subscription to The Atlantic.

Second, who will play center, besides Brett Gardner, who can't hit? I've offered my services but the team keeps projecting me as catching depth. I told them, I was like, 'I don't get on my knees for no man.' And they were like, 'crouching and kneeling are two different things.' And I was like, 'not on the streets.' And they were like, 'no, pretty much everywhere. They're different things.'

Third, who will strike out in every playoff at-bat ever? A-Rod may not be able to resume that role for some time.

Hopefully, the Yankees will figure these things out, and soon. Opening Day is only one month away.


Rich Mahogany said...

There is an inaccuracy in this article. Hughes' far-right conservatism is not anachronistic.

Gardner will play center. That will actually help the team because he's its best-fielding OF. With his defense, the team can afford his lack of power. The problem will be getting close to nothing (or just nothing, if Ichiro goes back to 2012 Mariners form) from the corner spots.

Rich Mahogany said...

The Yankees aren't qualified to discuss the streets. What do they know about the streets? Maybe the streets of Greenwich, CT or Alpine, NJ, but not the "streets" streets.

Anonymous said...

"Opening Day is only one month away." :)

Rich Mahogany said...

"Opening Day is only one month away." :(

Fernando Alejandro said...

Haha, mixed feelings on opening day I see. Gardner can take over center without trouble, but its who will take on left field that concerns me. Matt Diaz and Juan Rivera will be battling for that spot, and I fear that no matter who wins, we lose.

Rich Mahogany said...

Can RJG perform its signature brand of hard-hitting reporting on the extension offered to Cano? I want facts, and I also want figures.