Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Is This What Hitting Looks Like?

The Good

The Yankees can hit.  Who knew?  18 hits, and 14 runs were enough for the Yankees to grab a win yesterday.  5 different Yankees hit homeruns, and after a slow start this season, Gardner broke out of his shell a little, emerging as a glorious butterfly that could make solid contact and score some runs. 

Pettitte picked up 7 innings and 1 run, in what can only be seen as a blatant attempt to pad his stats.  Adam Warren picked up 2 scoreless innings of his own allowing a glimmer of hope for what has been an unproductive bullpen this season.

The Bad

Lost in all the big hits and homeruns yesterday was Francisco Cervelli's 2-4 night, and the fact that Cervelli has been one of our most solid hitters in this short season.  Why is this bad?  It's bad for the rest of the league!  Cervelli's on a tear that will devastate pitchers ERA's everywhere!  Bwhahahahahahahaha!!!!

The Ugly

Hafner went 0-4 yesterday.  This may not sound so bad, but if we take that 0-4 night and project it out for the rest of the year, he would end the year with a .014 average, and that's just not good enough from our designated hitter. 

And We Thought the Yankees Had Forgotten About the Children

But they haven't.  Ichiro, Cano, Youkilis, Overbay and Boesch all hit homeruns to show just how much they care.

Travis Hafner 2hr = $4
Vernon Wells 2hr = $4
Brett Gardner 1hr = $2
Kevin Youkilis 2hr = $4
Jayson Nix 1hr = $2
Robinson Cano 3hr = $6
Ichiro Suzuki 1hr = $2
Lyle Overbay 1hr = $2
Brennan Boesch 1hr = $2

Total 14 hrs = $28


Rich Mahogany said...

The Yankees appear to have found a time machine that turns declining old players into rejuvenated versions of themselves. By sheer chance, the machine also grants Francisco Cervelli the hitting prowess of Jorge Posada. Either that, or the Yankees have faced some terrible pitching so far.

Unknown said...

I think the Indians' pitchers must've stolen Jobu's rum. Is very bad to steal Jobu's rum. Is VERY bad.

The Yankees didn't steal Jobu's rum, they drank his milkshake.

Fernando Alejandro said...

Careful with those milkshakes. According to David Ortiz, it was a milkshake that gave him his positive PED result.