Yanks Take Opener in Cleveland

The Good

The Yankees offense has really come alive. Cano had two home runs. Hafner had one. Other players did stuff too. Kuroda, who lost his pitching hand in his first start a la Luke Skywalker, threw 5.1 scoreless frames except for the three runs the Indians scored. The Yankees are now largely favored to win the AL East.

The Bad

Eduardo Nunez, who lost his arm recently a la Anakin Skywalker, had no hits in this game. Why is he even on the roster?

The Ugly

Before the game, Nick Swisher walked over to Brett Gardner and asked him if he remembered a time last season when he brought a cupcake from home and it went missing. When Gardner informed Swisher that he did indeed remember, that he thought about it often, and that he's not known peace since it went missing, Swisher informed him that it was he, Nick Swisher, who took the cupcake. He hadn't even eaten it. He just threw it out. Gardner, completely psyched out, went on to go 1-5 in the lead-off spot.

Cash for Ads

The Yankees had three home runs in this game. I already explained who and how many in 'The Good' section, so don't expect me to repeat myself here.

Travis Hafner 2hr = $4
Vernon Wells 2hr = $4
Brett Gardner 1hr = $2
Kevin Youkilis 1hr = $2
Jayson Nix 1hr = $2
Robinson Cano 2hr = $4

Total 9 hrs = $18