Jeter Strikes Back pt. 1
It was a cold winters night as bitter, icy rain fell from the skies covering the streets. Julio Lugo, Jason Varitek, David Ortiz and Manny Ramirez came stumbling out of the local sportsbar.
Varitek: "Hey guys, lets go burn down that nursery school down the street."
Manny: "Great idea! After that we should go do it to the animal shelter."
Ortiz: "One thing at a time guys."
Lugo: "I'm Julio Lugo."
Varitek: "Great, Manny go make some molotov cocktails."
Right then a police cruiser stopped, and officer O'Brien got out.
Officer O'Brien: "Hey, what are you guys doing?"
Varitek: "We were going to burn that nursery school down, then possibly hit up the animal shelter. Maybe drink some more, and tip a car over."
Officer O'Brien: "Wicked. Sounds like a chowdahriffic idea. Go Lestah!"
Varitek: "Great officer O'Brien, you should help us."
Right then Manny shows up with the molotov cocktails.
Ortiz: "You ready to do this?"
Lugo: "I want to be a real boy."
Varitek: "That nursery school will never see it coming."
Without warning the men hear the crack of a bat, and quicker than lightning, a baseball pegs Lugo between the eyes.
Varitek: "Where did that come from?"
Officer O'Brien: "That baseball, I've seen it before. It came off the bat of Jetah!"
Officer O'Brien: "Jetah!!!!" he yells pointing at the silhouette of a man who clearly has more gangster than all of them combined. Varitek throws on his catchers mask while Manny and Ortiz pull out they're personalized bats.
Manny: "Lets get him!"
But it was too late, Jeter had already used his evasive maneuvers to steal their molotov's and crack them over their heads. Officer O'Brien stood in shock as his friends tried to put out their own flames. Jeter approaches officer O'Brien.
Jeter: "Let this be a lesson to all of you. You shouldn't burn down nursery schools."
O'Brien: "Thanks Jetah. Now I know."
Jeter: "And knowing is half the battle." Then Jeter impaled him with his bat.