Yankees Sign Morgan Ensberg

Looks like the Yankees signed Morgan Ensberg. Possible reasons for why the Yankees are signing so many first baseman are as follows:

-Cashman mistook Morgan Ensberg for Mark Teixeira since they both used to play in Texas.
-Cashman is foreseeing a drought of right-handed first baseman and will rake when that drought hits.
-The loss of Andy Phillips could only be made up by 5 first baseman.
-Hank Steinbrenner plans on hosting a new reality series in which the winner will become the Yankees first baseman.
-Cashman isn't signing first baseman, he's creating his entourage.
-Cashman got drunk again.
-The Yankees are providing role models for Eric Duncan.
-The Yankees have lost faith in Shelley Duncan since he has a girls name.
-Cashman got bored.

I wish we still had Andy Phillips. I remember going to a game last summer against the Blue Jays, and I was standing by the Yankees bullpen watching the pitchers warm up. Andy Phillips came by to grab some water back there, and I said "Hey, its Andy Phillips." He looked up and gave me the peace sign, or at least that's what I thought it was. It turned out he was prophesying the future and informing me that he was going to have 2 RBI's that day. Sure enough later in the game he had a 2 RBI single. Then I remembered his peace sign, and understood its true meaning. It was an epiphany of Keyser Söze proportions.