Rebecca over at the "This Purist Bleeds Pinstripes" blog has been working on a multi part baseball story. We at the "Respect Jeter's Gangster" blog thought it was a great idea, however we lack the creativity, devotion and the obvious writing talent that Rebecca does. That, of course, did not stop us from writing this three part story series on Derek Jeter. Here is part 2.
Jeter strikes Back pt. 2
It is just a few hours before gametime and the entire Yankee team is hanging out in the club house. Posada picks up a copy of the newspaper and starts reading.
Posada: "Did you hear? It looks like Varitek and some other players tried to burn down a nursery school again."
Jeter: "Yeah, that's what happens when they start drinking."
Mussina: "Hey Jeter, what's something that is to be respected, owned by Derek Jeter. Its 3 down, begins with a "G", 8 letters..."
Jeter: "Gangster Moose. The answer is Gangster."
Then without warning George Mitchell busted through the clubhouse door riding a white horse, wearing a cowboy hat, firing twin six shots into the air.
Kyle Farnsworth: "Its George Mitchell son!" He yelled as Giambi sprung for the exit.
George Mitchell: "Nobody move! I've come with my impeccable integrity to write a speculative report that names all of you as PED users."
Mariano: "Why would you do that?"
George Mitchell: "Because I'm George Mitchell, I can do whatever the crap I want!"
Jeter: "Tell the truth Mitchell. You're a paid Boston crony. You're trying to throw dirt on our organization to make yourselves look cleaner. But everyone knows there are a lot more Boston players using PED's then were mentioned in that report."
George Mitchell: "My integrity is impeccable!"
Then Bud Selig busted in through the club house wall wearing Hulk fists.
Girardi: "Crap Selig, we have a door!"
Selig: "All of you take a drug test now!"
Cano: "Oh we'll play your filthy game you rogue."
Jeter: "We'll take the test Selig, but only if you and Mitchell take one too."
So they all took tests and came up clean except for Selig who tested positive for horse tranquilizers and flax seed oil.
Selig: "You got lucky this time Yankees. But I swear on all revenue sharing that you will be mine!"
Selig then used his Hulk fists to punch another hole through the wall and escaped. Posada grabbed his newspaper.
Posada: "Well that was weird."
Jeter: "What's in the funnies?"