Sunday, June 1, 2008

Darrell Rasner Is Human After All

The Good

Derek Jeter hit a solo home run, accounting for all of the Yankees' offense. This home run puts him on pace to break my major league single season home run record of 0. Betemit went 0 for 4 which is good in the sense that he is clearly committed and doggedly determined to not succeed at the plate, and is achieving exactly that.

The Bad

Rasner going 5.1 innings and giving up four runs is perhaps more mediocre than bad, but doing that after a twelve inning game when you want to save the bullpen as much as possible puts it squarely in the bad zone. Note that that is two games in a row where Rasner has pitched and the offense stayed home. More on that in "The Ugly."

The Ugly

No one on the team mustered more than one hit against a pitcher who gave up a home run to Derek Jeter. That is ridiculously ugly. Not to be seen in public ugly. So ugly nobody will date you including all manner of circus and fictional comic book freak. Now with that being said let's move on.

Our Penance for All Those Horrible Acts

The "Respect Jeter's Gangster" blog joined Johnny Damon's homerun club, which raises money for the Children's Health Fund. We are pledged to donate $1.00 for every homerun the Yankees hit this season. We will keep a running tally of the homeruns hit and the money donated throughout the season. Derek Jeter, the most gangster of all baseball captains and human beings generally, hit one out for the children. God bless his heart.

Melky Cabrera 6hr = $6.00
Alex Rodriguez 7hr = $7.00
Hideki Matsui 6 hr = $6.00
Bobby Abreu 7hr = $7.00
Jorge Posada 1hr = $1.00
Jason Giambi 11hr = $11.00
Johnny Damon 6hr = $6.00
Morgan Ensberg 1hr = $1.00
Robinson Cano 4hr = $4.00
Chad Moeller 1hr = $1.00
Wilson Betemit 1hr = $1.00
Derek Jeter 3hr = $3.00
Shelley Duncan 1hr = $1.00
Total = $55.00

If you are interested in Johnny Damon's Homerun Club or the Children's Health Fund you can find links to both at the top right hand corner of our page.


raven said...

On the other hand, Nick Blackburn might not be human after all.
He was hit on the face by abreu's line drive but broke no bones and still has all his teeth.

raven said...

And Scott Patterson is finally here.